Sleep, Cats and Animals: Law and order - FML

Law and order

By Anonymous - 01/01/2016 07:03 - United States - Reno

Today, at the age of 20, I still have a bed time. It is strictly enforced by my cat via endless meows if I am up past 11 pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 035

You deserved it 4 622

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/09/2010 15:58 - United States

Today, I'm a 22 year-old guy with a 11:00 pm curfew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 323

You deserved it 16 410

Catflap time

By Anonymous - 24/01/2021 17:01 - Germany

Today, our cat doesn’t care much whether she gets into my room or not. Except at about 3 a.m. each night. That’s the time she sits outside the door, meowing to be let in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 147

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 07:30 - United States

Today, between my cats scratching every surface they can find, my boyfriend's snoring, and the dog barking at every slight noise outside, I'm unlikely to ever get more than 3 hours of sleep at a time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 122

You deserved it 6 055

Telepathy?

By So tired - 24/05/2023 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my incredibly needy rescue cat - who knows she doesn't get to go into my bedroom at night - decided that she needed to wail and scratch the bedroom door from midnight until 5 a.m. Now that I'm awake, she's ignoring me because she knows I'm mad at her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 380

Noise annoys

By Mystic - 04/09/2021 00:01 - United States - Denver

Today, it’s the fifth day in a row that my mom has vacuumed right outside my room, from 5 to 11 AM. Despite this, I still can’t fall asleep before midnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 123

By notevencatnipworks - 27/08/2018 13:00

Today, as every day for the past three weeks, my girlfriend's cat kept us up from 3:30am crying nonstop. We've tried everything, and even exiled my well-behaved cat to keep him company. Now she cries because she feels she's being punished. Starting around 4am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 082

You deserved it 321

Supreme Betrayal

By chocobo - 11/07/2018 01:30

Today, I discovered that my family routinely waits until after my bedtime to order a pepperoni pizza, my favorite food. If that wasn't bad enough, I'm 17 and still have a strictly enforced bedtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 515

You deserved it 550

Her happy place

By RIP - 26/01/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, my 21-year-old cat, who has learned when I go to bed and waits in my bedroom for me every night, was waiting for me as usual last night. She got on top of me and I fell asleep pretty fast. When I woke up, she was still there, so I decided to wait until she moved. It took me an hour to realize she'd died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 109

Spooooooooky

By Anonymous - 23/09/2012 00:37 - United States - San Angelo

Today, after months of believing my house is haunted, and years of being scared of the dark, I finally had to admit to myself that the only way I can go to the bathroom in the middle of the night is if my cat follows me and sits outside the door. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 567

You deserved it 7 827

Noise annoys

By Anonymous - 17/01/2022 23:01

Today, I'm on my 20th consecutive night without decent sleep, ever since circumstances forced me to move back to my parents' bungalow, and my dad's thunderous snoring keeping me awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 172

Next

Top comments

rhiley 26

Saturday 2 January 2016 1:19

fair enough tbh someone's gotta lay down the law

xyris_fml 28

Saturday 2 January 2016 1:19

Invest in some nice noise cancelling headphones.

Comments

allplayedout 20

Saturday 2 January 2016 20:49

Annoying, but healthy. It's better for your body to go to sleep before midnight anyway. Good kitty.

samlovesham1234 9

Saturday 2 January 2016 22:14

It's a cats world. We're just living in it.

backfire10z 14

Saturday 2 January 2016 22:49

Pick up the cat, put her in a room that is as far away from the couch/ tv as possible, give him/her some bedding or something, and stay up as long as you want...

PikarooArtist 17

Sunday 3 January 2016 0:26

Talk about being pussy-whipped

crazycatlady5513 4

Sunday 3 January 2016 0:47

Hahahah! That's funny! I don't know which is worse, your cat enforcing bed time or mine demanding that 4am is wake up time!

TheKingISIn 5

Sunday 3 January 2016 1:41

Lucky, mine is 9:30, 10:00 if I'm lucky. Cats make the best alarm clocks though. He wakes me up at 5 AM every day for food and water.

kmarie22_613e 25

Sunday 3 January 2016 1:46

Hey I'm 27 and my cat still enforces bedtime. He is very strict.

Berber260 14

Sunday 3 January 2016 2:46

That is actually very very cute.

braysdada24 4

Sunday 3 January 2016 4:11

Why is this under the "intimacy" category?

ko051598 20

Sunday 3 January 2016 4:52

Aww Atleast your cat loves spending time with you

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Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Neighbours Lonely Halloween Wanker Love Jealousy Party Family Fight Argument Animals Cats Parents Health Embarrassing Sports Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings Pranks TikTok YouTube Dogs Cute AITA Work

The Top

Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 139

You deserved it 28 443

Today, my boyfriend and I had a friend over. This friend was talking about how 2 girls were trying to get with him. My boyfriend says, "I wouldn't ever fuck the blonde one, but I would do the other one in a heartbeat." Then, realizing what he said, he hesitantly added "…if I was single." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 641

You deserved it 486

The Top

Today, since my alarm didn’t go off at 7 a.m., I awoke to my mother attempting to perform Necromancy on me “as a joke.” She wore a black robe and everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 215

Today, my mother confused the terms 'necromancy' and 'necrophilia'. We had a great talk about why you shouldn't have sex with dead people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 221

You deserved it 2 747

Today, for my two-year anniversary I got my girlfriend a very expensive diamond necklace. She got me male enhancement pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158 395

You deserved it 18 259

Today, my daughter announced on Facebook that she is directly descended from extra-terrestrials. That would be okay - except she's 25 and believes it's true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 329

You deserved it 4 508

Today, I maxed out my credit card trying to help a friend of over 19 years to go see her family for Christmas, only to find out she changed her mind and doesn’t really want to go. I can’t return the bus tickets, and she’s mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 773

You deserved it 368

Today, after several months of warning my sister to stop drinking so many energy drinks, she is now in the hospital with potentially life-threatening heart problems. Now I have the worry that my sister will meet an early grave to add to my list of things that give me anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 183