Sleep, Cats and Animals: Law and order - FML

Law and order

By Anonymous - 01/01/2016 07:03 - United States - Reno

Today, at the age of 20, I still have a bed time. It is strictly enforced by my cat via endless meows if I am up past 11 pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 035

You deserved it 4 623

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/09/2010 15:58 - United States

Today, I'm a 22 year-old guy with a 11:00 pm curfew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 324

You deserved it 16 410

Catflap time

By Anonymous - 24/01/2021 17:01 - Germany

Today, our cat doesn’t care much whether she gets into my room or not. Except at about 3 a.m. each night. That’s the time she sits outside the door, meowing to be let in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 147

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 07:30 - United States

Today, between my cats scratching every surface they can find, my boyfriend's snoring, and the dog barking at every slight noise outside, I'm unlikely to ever get more than 3 hours of sleep at a time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 123

You deserved it 6 056

Telepathy?

By So tired - 24/05/2023 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my incredibly needy rescue cat - who knows she doesn't get to go into my bedroom at night - decided that she needed to wail and scratch the bedroom door from midnight until 5 a.m. Now that I'm awake, she's ignoring me because she knows I'm mad at her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 381

Noise annoys

By Mystic - 04/09/2021 00:01 - United States - Denver

Today, it’s the fifth day in a row that my mom has vacuumed right outside my room, from 5 to 11 AM. Despite this, I still can’t fall asleep before midnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 125

By notevencatnipworks - 27/08/2018 13:00

Today, as every day for the past three weeks, my girlfriend's cat kept us up from 3:30am crying nonstop. We've tried everything, and even exiled my well-behaved cat to keep him company. Now she cries because she feels she's being punished. Starting around 4am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 082

You deserved it 321

Supreme Betrayal

By chocobo - 11/07/2018 01:30

Today, I discovered that my family routinely waits until after my bedtime to order a pepperoni pizza, my favorite food. If that wasn't bad enough, I'm 17 and still have a strictly enforced bedtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 516

You deserved it 551

Her happy place

By RIP - 26/01/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, my 21-year-old cat, who has learned when I go to bed and waits in my bedroom for me every night, was waiting for me as usual last night. She got on top of me and I fell asleep pretty fast. When I woke up, she was still there, so I decided to wait until she moved. It took me an hour to realize she'd died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 109

Spooooooooky

By Anonymous - 23/09/2012 00:37 - United States - San Angelo

Today, after months of believing my house is haunted, and years of being scared of the dark, I finally had to admit to myself that the only way I can go to the bathroom in the middle of the night is if my cat follows me and sits outside the door. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 568

You deserved it 7 828

Noise annoys

By Anonymous - 17/01/2022 23:01

Today, I'm on my 20th consecutive night without decent sleep, ever since circumstances forced me to move back to my parents' bungalow, and my dad's thunderous snoring keeping me awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 172

Next

Top comments

rhiley 26

Saturday 2 January 2016 1:19

fair enough tbh someone's gotta lay down the law

xyris_fml 28

Saturday 2 January 2016 1:19

Invest in some nice noise cancelling headphones.

Comments

Zotti 11

Saturday 2 January 2016 9:01

that doesn't sound bad... it sounds sweet and adorable!

tbangazak3 7

Saturday 2 January 2016 9:07

Ditch the cat duh

crane8479 8

Saturday 2 January 2016 9:55

im 55 and I have dog that whines like she's being beaten if Im not in bed by 10pm

dragoongirl90 34

Saturday 2 January 2016 10:07

So the ****** meows.

pdp_fml 21

Saturday 2 January 2016 10:29

Why not get rid of the cat?

more4me 27

Saturday 2 January 2016 12:03

That's weird. Cat are usually nocturnal creatures! Mine just wanted to sleep on my chest with her butt in my face when I was wat hing TV until it was time to turn off the light. Then, she wanted to play and run around the apart all night !

PinkasaurusRex 25

Saturday 2 January 2016 13:46

They probably know that if you don't go to bed by then, maybe you won't be up in time to feed them lol

captainsmegma 12

Saturday 2 January 2016 16:59

Boot to the pussy will solve that problem.

Timber147 9

Saturday 2 January 2016 18:32

Shouldn't let your animals be the pack leader by pushing you around.

cryevertime 12

Saturday 2 January 2016 20:11

I know that feel bro.

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The Top

Today, while I was mid-act with my girlfriend, my mom unlocked my bedroom door and came in shaking maracas. She then handed them to my very shocked girlfriend and told her these were the "Busted maracas" and directed her to pass them along accordingly. Well, at least our first time was memorable… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 443

You deserved it 365

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school that says, "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 746

You deserved it 3 568

The Top

Today, I have a condition that when I get nervous, I get horrible diarrhea. I was taking an online math test worth a huge portion of my grade when I felt the rumble. Turning off the camera is an automatic fail, so I had to take my laptop to the bathroom with me. The teacher kicked me out of class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 054

You deserved it 169

Today, my mom sent me a picture of a blank piece of paper, saying it was a drawing of all the people who wanted to date me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 268

You deserved it 3 229

Today, the father of one of my music students asked me out to dinner via my work e-mail. I thought it was kind of sweet, albeit a little strange, until I got his daughter's instrument rental check, with both his and his wife's name printed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 032

You deserved it 633

Today, my family and I ran into an older man my parents knew. He continually asked me questions like do you play football, have you started shaving yet, etc. I thought he was joking. He told my parents I had grown into quite a young man. I am a girl and he wasn't joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 513

You deserved it 4 888

Today, if I was watching my life as a movie, I'd be thinking: "Come on, it is SO obvious that this will be a story about some gods having a bet about how fast they can get this woman to kill herself, and whether big things like health problems work best, or rather constant small annoyances." FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 132

Today, while creeping on my boyfriend's ex-wife’s Facebook, I found out that he used to call her the same nicknames he now calls me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 097

You deserved it 937