Transportation, Cars, Bikes and Public freakouts: Leave me out of this - FML

Leave me out of this

By hahahah111 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom was driving me somewhere. As we were driving, she got mad at a motorcycle driver telling to "get the fuck off the road." In response, the driver spat into my open window. His spit landed on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 209

You deserved it 4 380

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/02/2014 15:21 - United States

Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 077

You deserved it 51 909

By Knaxer - 12/12/2015 17:22 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 983

You deserved it 6 583

By lumacsp - 08/10/2009 12:22 - United States

Today, I stopped at the light when someone crashed on to my motorcycle making me fall. The guy claimed it was my fault because I stopped too fast. I got really mad, so I attempted to spit on his face and was ready to start a fight when I noticed that I forgot to lift the helmet shield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 284

You deserved it 52 424

By pothole - 03/03/2010 20:16 - United States

Today, it was nice out, so I drove with my car windows down. I was stopped trying to turn onto a busy highway, when a car turned off the highway right next to me, hit a pothole, and splashed dirty water into my window and into my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 070

You deserved it 4 177

Take that

By Anonymous - 30/07/2009 00:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I was riding my motorcycle when I saw my cheating ex-wife walking down the road. Out of anger, I spat my gum at her. I forgot that my helmet's visor was still down, so when I spat, the gum stuck against it. I was temporarily blinded and I crashed into some bushes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 148

You deserved it 77 705

Road rage gone feral

By 16590 - 15/06/2012 22:13 - Sweden

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified, me or him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 338

You deserved it 4 849

By taylor_eileen - 26/12/2009 22:00 - United States

Today, I drove my mom home from the salon because she was feeling sick. I'm not the best driver, but I was excited that I was helping. Everything was going smoothly until I hit a bump in the road. My mom blew chunks all over. I found out very quickly that she had spicy chicken for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 587

You deserved it 3 194

By authorx - 27/06/2013 04:39 - Canada - Toronto

Today, while driving during rush hour, I was singing so loudly that some jackass in the car next to me felt he should get my attention by throwing a wadded-up McDonald's bag through my open window, hitting me in the face with it, and telling me to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 374

You deserved it 50 545

By Zeco - 05/02/2011 22:54 - United States

Today, I was driving to work when I was almost hit by a teenage driver. I gave her the finger and shouted "F*** you!" making sure that she heard me. I then saw my boss glaring at me from the passenger seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 233

You deserved it 42 181

By future MIL slasher - 23/09/2012 21:05 - United States - Rindge

Today, I was driving home on the highway with my wife and her parents. As I overtook another car, a rock got kicked up into our windshield. My wife screamed about the crack it created, while my mother-in-law goaded her on and mocked my "piss-poor driving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 018

You deserved it 2 178

Next

Top comments

MrJentipede 2

Monday 25 May 2009 16:07

At least your mouth wasn't open.

herby123 0

Monday 25 May 2009 16:10

relay it to ur mom?

Comments

bonafidehustler 0

Monday 25 May 2009 16:58

This one is hilarious. #6: Nobody said she was moving at the time.

omglyktotally78 0

Monday 25 May 2009 16:59

Hahahah11? FAKE!

Tehalon 0

Monday 25 May 2009 17:06

Hope you thanked your mom.

Glam_fml 0

Monday 25 May 2009 17:11

Eww. I probably would have thrown up if some strangers loogie ended up on my face. Tell your mom to contain her road rage next time. Maybe sign her up for an anger management class.. Motorcyles have a right to be on the road too.

Gawain_fml 0

Monday 25 May 2009 17:19

Your mom should have driven over the motorcyclist--we need more organ donors.

madam_mayham 0

Monday 25 May 2009 17:21

That's assault, I would have instantly got his tag number and called the police and follow him until they found us then I would press assault charges and if you're a minor that tags on there as well.

nikkirito 0

Monday 25 May 2009 17:24

Yeah, you can press charges. Oh, well, FYL.

Gawain_fml 0

Monday 25 May 2009 17:26

Assault charges for being spit on? Boo hoo....put on the big girl panties and get over it.

BaldOuting 0

Monday 25 May 2009 17:35

i don't think i'd be getting back in a car with mom anytime soon.

mj2123 0

Monday 25 May 2009 17:43

Mommy might need some anger management...

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Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Neighbours Wanker Lonely Halloween Party Jealousy Love Argument Fight Family Animals Cats Parents Sports Health Embarrassing Shopping Medication Anger issues Birds Weddings Pranks TikTok YouTube Dogs Cute AITA Work

The Top

Today, my dad was on the couch and I sat down next to him. As I was reading a text message, I saw my dad's fat stomach sticking out so I patted it. After the first two pats, I realized I was patting in the wrong place. I patted the family jewels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 546

You deserved it 80 691

Today, after my wife had been bleeding when we have sex, the doctors sent her to hospital. While she was there overnight, I decided to masturbate at home. Turns out it was me. I have blood in my semen and was shooting it into her during sex. Glad she’s OK, but what the hell is wrong with my balls? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 338

You deserved it 171

The Top

Today, I went out on a date with a girl. Everything was going well until I shared how my family was affected by the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. She immediately got up and left, calling me a liar. Apparently, I'm "too cute" to be of Haitian descent. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 229

You deserved it 3 680

Today, I realized that my baby stops crying loudly whenever I turn on the vacuum cleaner. I'm either stuck with a fussy baby all day, or the roaring sound of a vacuum cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 603

You deserved it 5 228

Today, I went to get my car washed at one of those places where you can watch through the glass. I watched in horror, face pressed against the glass, as my car went through with the window down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 062

You deserved it 15 983

Today, my faculty mentor for my senior capstone project wasn't at my presentation for the entire department faculty. I assumed his wife or kids were sick, but that piece of shit told me himself that he was at home watching the new season of Stranger Things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 211

You deserved it 348

Today, after a long night of cramming for an extensive Anatomy final (detailed diagrams included), I check the senior final schedule to find that Anatomy is not till tomorrow, but I take Calculus in 10 minutes. This is followed by an e-mail from my teacher saying I can exempt Anatomy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 473

You deserved it 16 337

Today, I was teaching my 4 year old daughter how to use "stranger danger". Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 621

You deserved it 6 931