Drunk, Thief and Health: Legged it - FML

Legged it

By poserpilot - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - El Cajon

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 944

You deserved it 6 821

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Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By mylifeisamovie - 28/02/2009 06:39 - United States

Today, I woke up to a tap on my shoulder and had no idea where I was. I quickly discovered It was 11 am and I was still at the bar I had been drinking at the night before. My shoes were gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 644

You deserved it 58 789

By Starving Ultimatum - 02/09/2011 01:55 - United States

Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 944

You deserved it 3 127

By XYZee - 22/08/2012 20:27 - United States - Rockmart

Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 950

You deserved it 2 009

By Sebastian20 - 08/05/2013 11:05 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 333

You deserved it 15 620

WTH happened?

By Anonymous - 05/10/2009 05:11 - Canada

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall, with a note saying, "Sorry dude". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 374

You deserved it 42 548

Very smart

By Leauge - 28/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Owensboro

Today, I woke up to find out my house was robbed. He didn't steal anything of value, but he stole my beer, dog, and cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 438

You deserved it 311

By Unhappymothersday - 17/05/2012 20:41 - United States - Raleigh

Today, I woke up to the sound of my car being stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 516

You deserved it 2 174

By BedazzledAlpaca - 08/12/2014 05:03 - United States - Englewood

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 856

You deserved it 4 309

By doneanddone - 28/02/2009 17:33 - United States

Today, I was over at a friend's place until very late. He had stolen my keys as a joke at some point, but by the time I noticed, he was too drunk to remember where he'd hidden them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 779

You deserved it 8 746

By Anonymous - 09/09/2014 20:23

Today, I fell asleep with my luggage at a bus terminal. Upon waking up, I found that someone had opened my bags and stolen all my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 387

You deserved it 7 763

Next

Top comments

loserboii 11

Monday 12 November 2012 19:13

You sure someone isn't pulling your leg?

BatteryAddict 11

Monday 12 November 2012 19:14

Are you sure? You might've just misplaced it. Drunk people tend to do that.

Comments

Spectre529 12

Monday 12 November 2012 19:50

Is op pulling our legs? =p

perdix 29

Monday 12 November 2012 19:53

Damn, how are you going to pry your balls out of the hot tub now?

Spectre529 12

Monday 12 November 2012 19:55

Fantastic reference to a previous fml! =D

Myo_fml 20

Monday 12 November 2012 20:32

Darn, you beat me to the punch Perdix.

angel55033 12

Monday 12 November 2012 19:56

Some have serial numbers depending on technology ...report it to police you may get lucky and get it back if it's trying to be pawned... My car was broke into 5 years ago iPod stolen I actually got it back a month later a police detective contacted me over 2 hours from where it was taken but the officer made the drive and I got my iPod back. Pure luck so it never hurts to report it stolen you may get it back. If not I hope it was insured that truly sucks sorry OP

perdix 29

Monday 12 November 2012 19:58

You ought kick that guy's ass! Wait... Roll on the ground under him and them pop him with your good leg.

Enslaved 36

Monday 12 November 2012 20:01

I knew an old man at the bar, that used to drink his beer out of his prosthetic leg just for kicks. It was pretty gross to watch but he was a war vet so I never questioned his stability.

perdix 29

Monday 12 November 2012 20:28

"just for kicks?" Brilliant! I know I'll getting thumbed down for being a kiss-ass, but YDI.

erinchick1 7

Monday 12 November 2012 20:02

What an odd thing to steal

Sally2dicks21 8

Monday 12 November 2012 20:13

That's just sad. If someone can do that they don't deserve to live

kayhodg99 4

Monday 12 November 2012 20:15

My girlfriends dad found a prosthetic leg yesterday...

DJAllen 6

Monday 12 November 2012 20:22

Go to the police station.

RvidxrKlvn 8

Monday 12 November 2012 20:30

You're lucky it was your prosthetic leg because you would've been drowned in YDIs hahah. Still FYL though.

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Keywords

Cats Animals Awkward Work Christmas Health Embarrassing Anniversary Boredom Love Intimacy Abuse Ironic Alcohol AITA Transportation Am I overreacting? Drunk Gun control Kids Parents Language Noise Mysterious Relatable Money Delivery Food Miscellaneous Family

The Top

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 672

You deserved it 39 756

Today, my husband had confessed that we couldn't go on a vacation this spring because he was out of vacation time. He took two weeks off and pretended to go to work, then came home once I'd left. Another woman? No, some stupid shit in his video game called "Runescape Leagues." FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 140

The Top

He's not fat, he's just fluffy.

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 79

Today, on Facebook, all these parents posted photos of their child's last first day of high school, saying they were so proud as they left for senior year. It was my first day of senior year today, but my parents just gave me a high-five for not doing drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 051

You deserved it 8 955

Today, I was going at it with my boyfriend when he asked what nickname I wanted to be called. I told him to make something up. A few seconds later, he called me Buzz Lightyear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 675

You deserved it 491

Today, after my naked husband farted in my face because he’s an immature man child who refuses to act his age, this morning I woke up with raging pink eye. I’m half blind and I’m supposed to be taking my driving test this afternoon. I can’t see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 193

You deserved it 242

Today, I took my sister to the airport, after she asked me to a week ago. Five minutes into the ride, she told me she wasn’t going to the one 20 minutes away, but the one an hour away instead and gave me no gas money. FM

I agree, your life sucks 909

You deserved it 172

Today, I came outside to leave for work. To my shock and horror my car was gone. My asshole neighbor, who has parked in my spot multiple times decided to let her noisy guests park in my parking spot, so I parked in hers. She had my car towed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 034

You deserved it 413