I don’t have kids myself but from what I can tell basically every parent has had one of those days where you’re just so frazzled that the obvious solution just doesn’t occur to you. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

You never know from one encounter if the kid is a “special needs” case or if the parent is just completely incompetent at parenting. And I am a father with two very different, now grown children. Some children have impulse control issues and are very difficult to handle. Some parents want to be “friends” with their child and not a parent or they are just incompetent as a parent. Or any combination in between could yield such a situation… OP you need counseling with your child to help you cope with being a parent. We are not born automatically knowing how to be a good parent. Ideally we had good parents that we learned from, but not everyone is that fortunate. When things get extra difficult it’s time to seek help.

So sometimes 'pick kid up and jiggle\bounce' is actually not just a way of dealing with tantrums, but it helps recalibrate their inner ears so they stop fussing, because apparently babies\toddlers have problems with this. You can and absolutely should pick up and manhandle small children, because it helps them recalibrate. Spending some time tossing them onto a soft bed and sofa makes them the Happiest Kids Alive, too.

that's when you pick him up like a football and carry his butt outside and handle it. sometimes coddling and begging doesn't work on terdlers

And you didn't think to pick his ass up and put him in the trolley? If you don't teach him proper social behavior now, he'll never learn. I'm glad at least someone knows how to parent properly... (referring to the other mother that had to deal with YOUR kid)