Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Lingo

Lingo

By Ethan - 09/03/2009 13:35 - Australia

Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I'd got her. She replied, "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 163

You deserved it 95 371

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Same thing different taste

By JJ_V3N0M - 03/01/2015 10:48 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday, so I decided to take her to a fancy restaurant and give her an expensive $400 necklace that I had bought. Being traditional, I asked the waiter to arrange it nicely on the tray when he came with our dessert. Neither he nor the necklace ever showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 948

You deserved it 9 414

By Nickolas Neffster - 05/10/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 135

You deserved it 3 109

By clayton - 28/07/2012 00:30 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 510

You deserved it 44 193

By I_Lossed - 03/11/2009 11:02 - Australia

Today, I asked my girlfriend about a diamond necklace I bought her for her birthday, which she didn't seem to be wearing. She then told me she hocked it to pay for her inexpensive phone bill. I paid $1,500 for that necklace, she received $300 from the pawn shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 519

You deserved it 4 779

By Chrissy - 08/02/2010 20:24 - United States

Today, I found out that the necklace my boyfriend gave me for my birthday was actually a gift he'd given to his ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 241

You deserved it 3 040

By Mazzam - 19/11/2008 11:33 - France

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 279

You deserved it 18 565

Charming

By Anonymous - 18/05/2009 16:46 - Egypt

Today, the man I was going on a dinner date with bought me an expensive necklace. We got to the table he had reserved when his friend came and sat with us. Somehow, the subject of getting it on came up. My date then said, "Expensive jewelry - one way ticket to her pants." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 034

You deserved it 6 716

Delayed proposal

By Anonymous - 18/07/2020 23:02

Today, my girlfriend found the engagement ring I bought and assumed it was a late birthday present. She’s now wearing it on her right hand like a signet ring and she somehow hasn’t figured out it’s a diamond and not a Swarovski. I'm now waiting for her to figure it out before I pop the question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 756

You deserved it 404

By flyakite29 - 20/07/2009 16:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend came home and announced that she'd just bought a $40 pair of flipflops. She then declared that I wouldn't be getting a birthday gift this year due to budget shortfalls. For hers a month prior, I'd got her a $300 piece of jewelry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 614

You deserved it 5 454

Old dog, new tricks

By Anonymous - 25/07/2024 00:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, for my mom's birthday, I couldn't figure out what to get her, so I just took some of her jewelry, wrapped it up, and re-gifted it. She recognized it instantly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 1 367

hardcore_fml 0

Monday 9 March 2009 20:21

Why would she know what you meant? Let's go through the conversation. What did you get me for my birthday? I'm going to shoot my load on your neck/chest. Now gauge the excitement upon hearing this news and discover that you're a douche. lol.

Heidi_fml 0

Monday 9 March 2009 20:01

Um... why would she appreciate YOUR meaning as a birthday gift? Disgusting.

Comments

TheAntiComment 0

Monday 9 March 2009 21:03

needless to say she didn't receive her present after that spectacular surprise

calikola 0

Monday 9 March 2009 21:05

Dude, you're going to have to go out and buy her an actual pearl necklace now, if you ever want to save face with the Dad. That way she can show it off to him, and he'll breathe a sigh of relief.

tkdgold03 5

Friday 18 March 2011 7:10

deffff agreeee! smart!

shiaii 0

Monday 9 March 2009 21:05

haha that's funny shit, i think that you should hurry and buy her a real one, so she's not disappointed. even if she does like a load shot on her neck, she is probably disappointed she didn't get an ACTUAL necklace.

vitaminsandminer 0

Monday 9 March 2009 21:06

why would that be a good present for her?? and at #7, if she did enjoy that sort of thing she would probably know what a peal necklace was and would have been excited for it and known not to say anything to her dad, but i have no idea what girl would ewww

Ready_set_owned 0

Monday 9 March 2009 21:13

Pathetic, learn to be a man before you date.

SuzieLovesYou 0

Monday 9 March 2009 21:22

I think that's disgusting and I totally agree with #12. You're a douche.

pitts_the_shit 0

Monday 9 March 2009 21:24

OLOLOOLLOLOL HOW COULD YOU BE DEGRADING TOWARDS WOMEN LIKE THAT YOU RUDE RUDE MAN!?

arms_akimbo 0

Monday 9 March 2009 21:32

Well now you have to get a real one, or you're probably gonna get beaten up a fair bit.

IAlwaysFail 0

Monday 9 March 2009 21:36

AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA holy shit, that has to be one of the funniest ones!!!

VexVisnu 0

Monday 9 March 2009 21:42

I'm with #7. I don't understand why most of you here think he's a douche or why you think it's disgusting. My girlfriend digs stuff like that. It's mostly just a play on submissive and subservient behavior. There are plenty of girls that like being dominated/used. Some of you are just ignorant.