Miscellaneous and Tattoos: Lucky

Lucky

By mislabelled mother - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I got my first tattoo. I didn't realise that the font I chose uses a fancy capital L that can easily be mistaken for a capital F. It looks like I have "I'm A Good Fuck Charm" tattooed on my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 984

You deserved it 6 229

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

For life

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got my first tattoo. When I showed my boyfriend, he asked where I got the design. I told him I saw it in a sketch book of his. He designed it for his last girlfriend, who got it in the same place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 324

You deserved it 62 281

The struggle

By lizi - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Saint Andrews

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 049

You deserved it 838

Forgive me

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the Crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 776

You deserved it 4 323

Puffy

By blow me - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Vermont

Today, I bought some pricey lipstick for a date tonight. An hour after putting it on, my lips are so swollen, I look like a blow-up sex doll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 248

You deserved it 3 508

Collector's item

By Pon - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my girlfriend bought me a new hockey jersey and donated my old one. My old one was signed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 904

You deserved it 590

No good deed…

By williebees - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Huntsville

Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 921

You deserved it 2 522

Hand me downs

By Marcipaud - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Detroit

Today, I opened up an English textbook to find someone else's dirty fingernails between the pages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 169

You deserved it 1 061

By ISwearImNotOCD - 05/04/2017 08:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I found out that the chefs at my work can't spell for shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 153

You deserved it 371

By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 18:55 - United States

Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 863

You deserved it 4 724

Creeped out

By emoney - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 625

You deserved it 3 772

BiGTiMeNeRD 29

Saturday 24 March 2018 2:13

Either way, not a good tatt.

Donut_Wizard 23

Saturday 24 March 2018 2:47

How did you not notice this before you got the tattoo? No regerts I guess.

Comments

ajh1800 25

Saturday 24 March 2018 1:50

Guess you're not a good luck charm after all...

DraftHail614 17

Saturday 24 March 2018 2:09

The next time you go on a date, he might just get lucky.

BiGTiMeNeRD 29

Saturday 24 March 2018 2:13

Either way, not a good tatt.

CrazyTrainWreck 19

Saturday 24 March 2018 2:32

Is your name lucky by any chance?

Donut_Wizard 23

Saturday 24 March 2018 2:47

How did you not notice this before you got the tattoo? No regerts I guess.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 24 March 2018 3:11

Don’t meff with Lancy Lontf! You’ll Fook Fike a Lucking Loof!

LAUGHINGKOMODO 25

Saturday 24 March 2018 4:37

Whatever other people see, it still means the same thing, so no big deal.

Symphoniaes 32

Saturday 24 March 2018 4:38

No ragrets, isn’t that right Scottie P.

Lobby_Bee 17

Saturday 24 March 2018 6:34

Instead of having good luck, you'll be having a good ****. It isn't so bad, who doesn't like a good ****?

Mungolikecandy 19

Saturday 24 March 2018 8:27

Did you not see the design before it was permanently etched upon you? If you did you would have seen it looked that way.

Keywords

Cats Poopoo peepee Gross Animals Awkward Love Smells Miscellaneous Embarrassing Painful Health First Dates Work Christmas Music Grieving Social Media Anniversary Boredom Ironic Intimacy Abuse Drunk Transportation AITA Alcohol Am I overreacting? Kids Gun control Parents

The Top

Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 643

You deserved it 29 280

Today, I got home and found my girlfriend in bed with another guy. After the screaming, yelling, and kicking them both out of my house, all I wanted was whiskey. I found the bottle under the bed. It wasn’t enough the guy was porking my girlfriend, he had to drink my booze too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 112

The Top

Today, my best friend of a decade ended our friendship, all because I wouldn't kick someone from our Dungeons and Dragons table that he disliked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 139

Today, I'm heading towards my car clutching a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend, when along comes a sweet old lady who says: "it's not flowers she wants, it's some lovin'!". The elderly sure aren't what they used to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 795

You deserved it 3 756

Today, my unemployed boyfriend and I went to the casino. I gave him twenty dollars to play on. He won $1000 on a dollar machine then jackpotted the ten dollar machine for $20,000. When we got home he broke up with me. I have been working two jobs to get our own place. Move in Date?? 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 798

You deserved it 5 169

Today, while driving to my girlfriend's house, I passed up a stop sign without stopping. A car passing by honked. I honked back several times and flipped them the finger. Turns out it was my girlfriend's dad trying to say hi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 212

You deserved it 65 151

Today, after explaining to my two year old that we were going bra shopping, he decided to announce to the entire bank that we were going to buy Mommy some boobies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 220

You deserved it 26 909

Today, my husband told me to look for a honeymoon resort, since we had to cancel it last year. I looked everything up and got all excited. Just when I asked him for payment information, he said "April Fools!" April Fools was two days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 462

You deserved it 3 471

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments