Intimacy: Mad beliefs

Mad beliefs

By Anonymous - 12/04/2009 00:20 - United States

Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 255

You deserved it 20 796

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Same thing different taste

By GrandmasWhore - 04/04/2009 05:59 - United States

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 248

You deserved it 90 484

Sex work is real work

By thatssickkk - 17/02/2010 06:40 - United States

Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 572

You deserved it 2 727

By unlucky_vee_13 - 23/02/2009 22:02 - United States

Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on the phone, and she told me she was giving up sex for lent. Not only do I now have a vision of my grandma having sex, I am reminded that she is having more sex than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 241

You deserved it 5 059

Wisdom

By fiftyshardsofbroccoli - 26/10/2012 17:58 - United States

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 448

You deserved it 3 062

By butnotlikethat - 16/03/2013 00:05 - China - Nanchang

Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 992

You deserved it 6 238

By Anonymous - 12/06/2012 11:58 - United States - Gorham

Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 315

You deserved it 9 126

By tdiz - 12/10/2010 04:48 - Canada

Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 888

You deserved it 3 569

By dynah114 - 27/01/2013 19:08 - Israel - Petah Tiqva

Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 349

You deserved it 2 484

By Susan - 18/03/2013 08:59 - Ireland

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 691

You deserved it 16 034

Worried?

By Anonymous - 06/04/2023 14:00

Today, my grandmother gave me a long speech detailing how she was worried about my well-being, and told me that I could tell her anything. I tried to open up to her about my mental health issues, to which she responded, "Stop, I don't care, I'm not your therapist." I'm so confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 122

arienh4 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 13:12

#5 Because it's free.

KwitIt 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 12:44

Well... at least you were honest! I hope this doesn't deter you from honesty in the future! And #1, it's not like the OP could have just said, "Nope. Not talking about this with you!" That would be incredibly disrespectful, and it sounds like the grandma brought it up first.

Comments

4581 0

Monday 13 April 2009 11:29

do you think she only said those things to scar you from having sex? lol

Underscoredot 0

Monday 13 April 2009 14:14

Nice.

blairf83 0

Monday 13 April 2009 16:38

LOL..... Gotta love it when grandparents go off the deep end. Example: My gram is not as prudish as some grams are... but she's definitely the "proper" sort.... The first thanksgiving i ever brought a date to a family holiday function.... we sat down, said grace, started passing the food around. Everybody was kind of digging in and not talking much... so my gram decides to start a conversation.... So she picked a topic: The best sex scene she ever saw in a movie. And hers was from some chinese movie... and it involved CHILDREN!

ppppnuts 0

Monday 13 April 2009 17:50

grandmas a freaaaaakk

RandomBlonde 0

Monday 13 April 2009 19:49

#75 I feel sorry for you. That must've been a bit humiliating!!! Atleast my grandmother doesnt love me. She loves my sister, so whatever i do is gone unnoticed....

eternalaphrodite 0

Monday 13 April 2009 20:21

If you answered what you like to do sexually, then YDI.

NothinToSay 0

Tuesday 14 April 2009 1:52

Why the Hell are you telling her???

queenkiwinc 0

Wednesday 15 April 2009 0:50

This wrong in so many ways. My grand parents are dead but I can't even talk about sex with my mother. My mother is a tough NC bible thumping woman that would kill me if she knew what a tramp I am. She used to beat me so much when I was a kid that I am scared of here.