Sex, Painful and Intimacy: Marvel Comics - FML

Marvel Comics

By Anonymous - 14/07/2011 16:52 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 828

You deserved it 15 919

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/06/2012 03:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 425

You deserved it 4 625

Mood ruined

By Anonymous - 10/02/2010 00:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend when he reminded me that I needed to cut my toe nails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 908

You deserved it 18 148

By C0r1nn3 - 07/06/2012 04:02 - United States - Santa Clara

Spicy

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 846

You deserved it 5 090

What what?

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 16:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 1 457

Sensitive snowflake

By onepussytwopussy - 07/03/2014 19:47 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 427

You deserved it 26 491

By InvAzn - 14/12/2017 06:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 592

You deserved it 2 368

By Anonymous - 18/10/2013 03:11 - United States - Omaha

Spicy

Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 263

You deserved it 7 094

Passionate

By Anonymous - 09/10/2020 02:00

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 478

By anon - 08/12/2012 05:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 471

You deserved it 5 445

By fungettingdressed - 12/10/2010 12:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 944

You deserved it 9 090

Next

Top comments

yellowboy30 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 23:39

my nails r cut. let me try

JesseOhNine 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 23:33

yuck

Comments

danielle25 15

Thursday 14 July 2011 23:45

This is the grossest fml I have ever read. Tell him to get a manicure.

yourshootingstar 4

Friday 15 July 2011 0:43

11 you haven't read very many then.

wtfitsxash 3

Friday 15 July 2011 0:56

I agree with 33 l0l.

mickmick95 0

Friday 15 July 2011 19:17

i agree with 52

danielle25 15

Saturday 16 July 2011 4:23

Yes I have.

CaptainPickles72 18

Thursday 14 July 2011 23:49

Just tell him to cut his nails. Telling him it'll make his fingers feel better for you might encourage him to cut them. Honestly I wouldn't cut my nails as much if it wasn't for my wife. (To much info?)

iWIN_not 0

Friday 15 July 2011 1:03

not cool man

Hockeyboy4280 18

Friday 15 July 2011 2:35

Wtf same picture?

CaptainPickles72 18

Friday 15 July 2011 2:58

Ahh hell naw....somebody done stole my profile pic.. Oh well!

iWIN_not 0

Friday 15 July 2011 5:43

it's cool brah. hey it's a funny pic

LifeIsCruelFML 0

Friday 15 July 2011 16:28

yes... tmi. no one cares what you and your wife do when it comes to that.

CateXOX 0

Friday 15 July 2011 23:10

That picture scares the shit out of me.

hawright 13

Thursday 14 July 2011 23:51

What about infection? Do you have any idea what bacteria nails can harbor?

yourlifesfucked 0

Friday 15 July 2011 0:05

You have any idea the kind of bacteria a ****** harbors? js.

mismonroe 0

Friday 15 July 2011 3:14

I'd rather have a nail infection I got from a ****** than a vaginal infection I got from nails. err..

Lulblast 4

Friday 15 July 2011 7:32

Lol imagine gonorrhea under your fingernails. *Shudders*

jsaxon1996 0

Friday 15 July 2011 10:11

oh yeah.. "hey! what happened to your nails?!" .. "uhhh... I got a vaginal infection.."

professorR6 0

Friday 15 July 2011 17:19

yeah one time I got twat blocked cuz my fingers were greasy from working on a motor.

Shayton 12

Thursday 14 July 2011 23:53

tell him cut his nails then!

Jays7 10

Friday 15 July 2011 6:30

Amen sister! :P

mz_dia 7

Friday 15 July 2011 0:03

eww.. I hate guys that have long nails

lmaoatall 6

Friday 15 July 2011 0:09

what are you complaining about? try a freddy krueger up your ass! look, if you are ever at a club, and someone comes up to you and feeds you a line, "you got the body, and I got the brains," ruuuunnnnn!!!!!!!

MrHughJass 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 10:26

lulwut?

laundryninja 1

Friday 15 July 2011 0:13

maybe wannatell him that?

whyXD 13

Friday 15 July 2011 0:19

well its either wolverine or another chick. Hope they were clean.

doodlez223 1

Friday 15 July 2011 0:26

That sucks, but you kind of deserved it. I mean, you know he never cuts his nails. You didn't have to let him finger you.

ElectricEffect 13

Friday 15 July 2011 0:28

Oh god... Can't. Stop. Cringing.

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The Top

Today, my nosey louse of a coworker went to HR and told them I was snorting drugs at my desk. I was using nasal saline, as the dry winter weather wreaks havoc on my sinuses. The fact that they even brought me in pisses me off beyond words. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 75

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I agree, your life sucks 77 780

You deserved it 4 168

The Top

Today, I found out my daughter was planning a wedding and invited everyone but me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 750

You deserved it 490

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I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 1 018

Today, my extremely lazy roommate is in bed with the flu. Instead of getting up to get water, he's run the garden hose through his window, and instead of going to the bathroom, he's connected a siphon to his penis and run it to a 5-gallon bucket. I have to live with this idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 585

You deserved it 5 196

Today, my mom started dipping into my college savings, just so she can continue throwing money away on visiting a medium who claims she can channel the spirit of our recently-deceased family dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 430

You deserved it 2 124

Today, after searching everywhere to find out where the funny smell that seemed to follow me everywhere came from, I finally found the sausage that my father had put in my purse. It has been a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 102

Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 203

You deserved it 3 390