Sex, Painful and Intimacy: Marvel Comics

Marvel Comics

By Anonymous - 14/07/2011 16:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 828

You deserved it 15 919

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/06/2012 03:33 - United States

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 425

You deserved it 4 625

Mood ruined

By Anonymous - 10/02/2010 00:56 - United States

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend when he reminded me that I needed to cut my toe nails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 908

You deserved it 18 148

By C0r1nn3 - 07/06/2012 04:02 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 846

You deserved it 5 090

What what?

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 1 457

Sensitive snowflake

By onepussytwopussy - 07/03/2014 19:47 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 427

You deserved it 26 491

By InvAzn - 14/12/2017 06:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 592

You deserved it 2 368

By Anonymous - 18/10/2013 03:11 - United States - Omaha

Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 263

You deserved it 7 094

Passionate

By Anonymous - 09/10/2020 02:00

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 478

By anon - 08/12/2012 05:33 - United States

Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 471

You deserved it 5 445

By fungettingdressed - 12/10/2010 12:57 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 944

You deserved it 9 090

yellowboy30 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 23:39

my nails r cut. let me try

JesseOhNine 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 23:33

yuck

Comments

7kate9 0

Friday 15 July 2011 1:56

you allowed him to finger you KNOWING he doesn't cut his nails -- you deserved it!

lxmadmardiganxl 0

Friday 15 July 2011 1:59

why didn't you stop him? I wold of flipped out and stick my nails up is ass to see how he liked it.

fuff_fml 4

Friday 15 July 2011 2:00

no it would be his brother. not wolverine

blue_eyes11792 0

Friday 15 July 2011 2:02

Reading this caused me pain.

Drakon_fml 7

Friday 15 July 2011 2:16

So he was in everything you have. Gotcha.

nanabaybe 0

Friday 15 July 2011 2:35

lucky my bby cuts dem haha ur life sukks

gabestar 4

Friday 15 July 2011 2:37

ouch!

jadengtfo 0

Friday 15 July 2011 2:43

aaaaooouch! (get it, howling combined with ouch)

rezzel 0

Friday 15 July 2011 2:46

my gf got me a nail filer for that cuz even cut nails r a problem

asia3pea90 13

Friday 15 July 2011 2:47

that's really discusting...to both of you.

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Love Embarrassing Miscellaneous Romantic Christmas Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, I got home from visiting my long-distance girlfriend. I spent $366 to get a plane ticket to visit her for the week. The day after I arrived there, she broke up with me and I had to buy a ticket for an earlier flight home. With fees and penalties, I paid around $550 to be broken up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 712

You deserved it 5 223

Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 300

You deserved it 14 749

The Top

Today, I woke up to my husband trying to bite my forehead in his sleep. My response? I slapped him hard in the face. What a way to wake up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 339

You deserved it 274

Today, it's my 20th birthday! Happy birthday to me! My boyfriend threw a beer can through my back wind-shield after breaking up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 794

You deserved it 4 602

Today, my husband and I are sick. He keeps whining about how bad he feels. I'm just as sick, as well as 7 months pregnant. I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked, cleaned, and gone to the store several times because the tissues we had were too rough on his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 663

You deserved it 9 481

Today, I found out my mom took around $2,500 from my savings account to pay off my sister's college tuition. She recently flunked out of her studies and won't be returning to college anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 834

You deserved it 1 603

Today, I claimed I was pregnant to get back at my ex and the girl he cheated on me with. I tagged him in my "ultrasound" pic, saying it was his baby, hoping she would dump him. Turns out there’s this thing called "reverse image search" and he posted the Google page where I got the ultrasound from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 7 810

Today, I stepped out of a bar in order to make a phone call. While I was outside, the bouncers arrived and ropes were put up. They wouldn't let me back in, claiming I was too young and they hadn't seen me come out. I was celebrating my 26th birthday, the legal drinking age is 18. I also have a beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 198

You deserved it 3 199