Kids: Messy

Messy

By chuchie - 12/06/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my 5 month-old nephew, who hasn't pooped in two days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolled over and peed on my new carpet. I rolled him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 568

You deserved it 6 656

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Same thing different taste

Pooped out

By jmitch1209 - 28/01/2010 17:55 - United States

Today, I was potty-training my nephew. He had been on the toilet for almost twenty minutes and could not go. My phone started ringing, and as I went to pick it up he knocked it into the toilet. He then peed and pooped on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 947

You deserved it 3 866

By sdasdflkjas - 30/05/2009 04:24 - United States

Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 147

You deserved it 6 360

By Anonymous - 27/02/2010 06:36 - United States

Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 606

You deserved it 3 175

Shidding and farding

By Anonymous - 07/09/2021 08:01

Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 111

You deserved it 290

By Anonymous - 17/04/2017 08:00 - Australia - Moonee Ponds

Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 191

You deserved it 605

By Anonymous - 11/09/2011 19:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to clean up after the kid that discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 244

You deserved it 3 186

By jbhadafuckedupday - 15/03/2018 01:30

Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 094

You deserved it 450

By matchristityler - 09/02/2010 08:19 - United States

Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 632

You deserved it 4 378

By subtweetqueen - 09/09/2016 04:18 - United States - Santa Clarita

Today, the 3-year-old I nanny wanted to prove to me that he was tall enough to pee standing up in front of the toilet. When he realized he actually was tall enough, he got excited and misdirected his stream, covering himself, his brother, and me in urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 524

You deserved it 1 234

So sweet

By Mom of 3 - 07/10/2018 15:30

Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 955

You deserved it 435

hamzy 0

Friday 12 June 2009 9:38

Lol, "opened fire". For some reason I find this fml more cute then FMLish.

flydog 2

Friday 12 June 2009 9:46

how do you ''accidentally stuck my finger in it.'' ? poor kid must be going FML!!

Comments

Zenma 0

Friday 12 June 2009 10:01

LOL "Opened fire"

Jimboom 11

Friday 12 June 2009 10:02

Why the hell would you be changing a baby on your brand new carpet?

Trebek 0

Friday 12 June 2009 10:08

That's a real pisser of a situation, pretty shitty luck if you ask me.

Shunnabunich 0

Friday 12 June 2009 10:11

Man, that little guy's quick on his feet! Or, uh, his ass.

andreophile 0

Friday 12 June 2009 10:12

This baby goes off like a mini-gun with it's fire-roll-reload-fire mechanism.

ShenziSixaxis 0

Friday 12 June 2009 10:14

Spank that kid. HARD.

redbluegreen 40

Friday 12 June 2009 10:16

I love the way the FML was written. That kid sounds like a weapon.

saf_raman 0

Friday 12 June 2009 10:20

Don't sweat it. Just do what I do. Head for the nearest men's restroom and find a gloryhole. Blow off some steam.

nightswimmer 0

Friday 12 June 2009 10:25

haha! thats pretty good. to all who thought the finger went in the bum, it went in the poo, hehe perverts :p

Edenbeam 19

Friday 12 June 2009 10:26

Lol@ #13

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Today, while walking my dog, I opened my mouth to yawn. A wasp took the opportunity to fly into my mouth and announce its presence by stinging my tongue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 280

You deserved it 2 564

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I agree, your life sucks 21 422

You deserved it 2 325

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I agree, your life sucks 40 299

You deserved it 6 537

Today, I had my wedding at 11 a.m. so that I could spend a lot of time with my friends and family. Everyone left within 4 hours. FML

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You deserved it 1 994

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I agree, your life sucks 33 209

You deserved it 21 749

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You deserved it 111