Health, Embarrassing, Weird and Awkward: Moobs

Moobs

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 22:19 - United States

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 009

You deserved it 54 700

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Same thing different taste

Free hugs

By Anonymous - 25/07/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "WTF am I doing?" he kissed my boob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 672

You deserved it 53 191

Big one

By Cnscott0205 - 17/11/2019 14:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I accidentally touched someone's boobs. It was a man. And I noticed that they were bigger than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 817

You deserved it 273

Hanging

By James - 31/07/2011 04:20 - United States

Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 393

You deserved it 18 019

By June - 05/10/2010 04:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 879

You deserved it 8 833

By Tuffgunsmoke - 04/02/2010 07:22 - France

Today, I was at the gym and saw an old friend. I have put on a lot of muscle in the past few months, and she said to me "Wow, you've really gotten big." Just by habit I said "You too." Turns out she's gained 45 lbs since I'd last seen her. Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 755

You deserved it 31 554

By meesmees - 23/11/2013 10:48 - United States - Severna Park

Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 817

You deserved it 6 812

Thanks, honey.

By Fluffy - 13/12/2017 19:00

Today, I noticed that I've been gaining some weight. Don't worry, my boyfriend doesn't mind. His new favorite thing is putting my boobs on his head and saying he feels "safe". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 650

You deserved it 919

By barf - 06/02/2015 23:00 - Ireland

Today, I experienced the horror of walking in on my best friend fondling his tits. Yes, "his". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 821

You deserved it 3 273

Mortifying

By whatashame - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dad was on the couch and I sat down next to him. As I was reading a text message, I saw my dad's fat stomach sticking out so I patted it. After the first two pats, I realized I was patting in the wrong place. I patted the family jewels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 556

You deserved it 80 738

By CooBerry3851 - 28/08/2011 08:27 - United States

Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pound father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 708

You deserved it 3 253

GIRAFFES 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 9:45

That's not awkward at all.

Tubasaurus 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 9:48

Well, did he return the favor?

Comments

Wammy_fml 3

Thursday 3 March 2011 7:03

bahahaha

trini_gal171 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 22:19

lol ur an idiot hahaha

astriofou 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 12:31

pat it once shame on u pat it twice.. well it ended up on fml so ain't all bad? right?

fml98kevin 4

Tuesday 26 April 2011 6:47

LOL

greyzero 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 17:17

The best written fml to date, I applaud you.

IcYH0tD0G 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 20:38

........ how do u know he did not like it

BeanieBGone 6

Monday 8 August 2011 17:25

lmfao I think this is so funny.

saw92cus 0

Friday 2 December 2011 5:03

why did you grab it in the first place?

newburton13 26

Sunday 8 April 2012 20:21

Why would you ever...why would you pat it? I thought only guys could be this perverted.

laura_dorothy 0

Tuesday 18 September 2012 15:40

See! I miss FML's like these. I laughed, a lot. And out loud.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I met one of my favorite webcomic artists. As I purchased a shirt from their booth, he asked, "What size?" I stupidly asked "How big is a small?" He chuckled, "It's small" and chuckled some more. So much for keeping it cool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 498

You deserved it 7 808

Today, my girlfriend offered to roleplay as a sexy nun, then dumped me, claiming my saying yes meant I was attacking her catholic faith and that I’m a sick, depraved criminal. She was the one who offered. I’m not remotely interested in roleplay, I only agreed cause I thought it was her kink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 698

You deserved it 134

The Top

Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 274

You deserved it 4 079

Today, after assuring my best friend that his girlfriend would never cheat on him, I came home to my brother having loud sex with my best friend's girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 734

You deserved it 2 639

Today, I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I took all of my clothes off, and stepped into the shower facing the knobs. When I turned around, I saw somebody standing in there with me. Apparently, my little brother and his friend were playing hide and seek, and I found his friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 274

You deserved it 5 965

Today, I'm a host at a restaurant. We had a birthday party for a couple of 15 year old boys and their friends. I went to clean the bathroom at the end of my shift and discovered cake everywhere, including all over the urinal. They were even nice enough to draw a smiley on the mirror with icing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 312

You deserved it 2 466

Today, my newly ex-fiancé, the father of my 5-year-old child, moved out of state with no warning. I just spent my last $500 paying off his car, and the rent is due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 671

You deserved it 6 246

Today, my husband and I have officially become that couple that has to schedule sex. Between his working, my going back to school, raising kids, doing housework and homework, we just haven’t had time. Last night we tried to be spontaneous and get it on. We both fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 603

You deserved it 252