Intimacy, Sex, Embarrassing and Awkward: Mortifying

Mortifying

By Anonymous - 15/07/2015 16:29 - United States - Katy

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say, "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 304

You deserved it 2 753

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/04/2015 10:05 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, I snuck downstairs to watch a midnight movie. One moment I'm trying to plug my headphones in, in the dark, and the next my dad's beating the shit out of me with a baseball bat. Turns out he snuck down after me for a midnight snack and thought I was a burglar disconnecting the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 189

You deserved it 5 304

Noise complaint

By scarred - 27/07/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 106

You deserved it 3 956

Caught in 1080p

By wtf - 16/05/2014 22:25 - Australia - Narangba

Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 639

You deserved it 15 000

Lock it up

By stickyface - 24/10/2010 05:18 - Canada

Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs TV room. Just as he was about to come, I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door right as he came. I didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 059

You deserved it 41 814

By fmjob - 21/07/2009 04:39 - Canada

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 299

You deserved it 6 253

Quick, hide!

By Mattyboy - 24/08/2009 09:57 - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 951

You deserved it 18 654

Didn't see you there

By eatmyshipoopie - 18/12/2009 15:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 669

You deserved it 10 160

By Tiana - 29/01/2012 02:34 - Canada

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 357

You deserved it 9 268

By NO NO NO - 05/08/2013 21:42 - Netherlands - Den Haag

Today, I came home a little earlier than usual, only to walk in on my dad frantically trying to remove a ballgag from my mom's mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 530

You deserved it 5 356

By obtuse_ballsack - 04/06/2012 20:37 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 718

You deserved it 2 760

smile2312 16

Thursday 16 July 2015 0:00

oh goodness, what happened after???

carebear1228 20

Thursday 16 July 2015 0:03

another victim petrified by thier father's basilisk.

Comments

smile2312 16

Thursday 16 July 2015 0:00

oh goodness, what happened after???

JMichael 25

Thursday 16 July 2015 0:10

The bad start to a porno movie..

Schizomaniac 24

Thursday 16 July 2015 1:05

Are there ever any good starts to porno movies?

Hoopachi 19

Thursday 16 July 2015 1:21

Surprise buttsex

Jflowers9296 14

Thursday 16 July 2015 1:48

It's her father!!!!!! Where did you think that would be appropriate or funny?

ZombieSazza 34

Thursday 16 July 2015 3:22

The Lannisters & Targaryens would approve of porno like that! #30, theres a shit tonne of father/daughter **** on the Internet... So... Y'know...

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 16 July 2015 4:11

this is one FML that should NOT be illustrated

Roskie 16

Thursday 16 July 2015 6:34

No one is saying anything the original post didn't imply.

demonte_jones 19

Thursday 16 July 2015 15:38

#27 that wasn't clever nor funny #30 calm your ****

alexanderavatar 24

Thursday 16 July 2015 17:31

how do you know? what do you watch

BoltTheSuperdog 22

Friday 17 July 2015 19:43

#44: It's still possible though.

Jflowers9296 14

Monday 20 July 2015 21:33

DemHaxBro 20

Thursday 16 July 2015 0:01

Go buy some mind bleech

ChristinePi 36

Thursday 16 July 2015 0:04

Bleach*

killer6969 16

Thursday 16 July 2015 6:53

Bleech is the next form of bleach, much stronger and efficient and seriously necessary.

B1ackthesun 31

Thursday 16 July 2015 7:13

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

BigC_from_Bama 16

Thursday 16 July 2015 7:27

My gut tells me he was joking #66

cmchappy 25

Thursday 16 July 2015 7:34

Got all scientific to look smart oh the irony

firemedic841 11

Thursday 16 July 2015 9:15

#66 used too much bleach when dihydrogen monoxide was in order.

B1ackthesun 31

Thursday 16 July 2015 10:20

Your gut is correct 67, but I'm not surprised or concerned by the down votes Some times facetious moods strike me ;)

Fymlife 14

Thursday 16 July 2015 14:22

#66 You must have a hard time grasping the concept of sarcasm.

deathshead 19

Tuesday 29 September 2015 12:58

I dont know about 66, but the thing that makes sarcasm hard for me is that its not being verbally said and im always "sarcastic" weither I axtually am or not.

jessie841 11

Thursday 16 July 2015 0:03

Wow that must have been awkward... Sorry you had to deal with your dad mistaking you as your mom. But I am curious as to what you did... I think we need a follow up!

Amydervaux 20

Thursday 16 July 2015 0:03

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

xKrisSmoove 21

Thursday 16 July 2015 0:20

Wouldn't that mean your dad would have been talking to you, his daughter?

TH_Insomniak 15

Thursday 16 July 2015 0:29

#16 oh god... not that porno

Fmlsea 28

Thursday 16 July 2015 10:38

there could've been a similar situation if you lived with your dad and he had a gf who was either staying or living at the house too.

carebear1228 20

Thursday 16 July 2015 0:03

another victim petrified by thier father's basilisk.

Karinrinkashi 9

Thursday 16 July 2015 3:09

that comment...

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 16 July 2015 4:12

ball sack?

moosetracks22 10

Thursday 16 July 2015 4:17

Basilisk- a type of snake/serpent, see Harry Potter and the chamber of secrets for more info. But seeing your father's ball sack would be equally frightening