Intimacy, Sex, Embarrassing and Awkward: Mortifying

Mortifying

By Anonymous - 15/07/2015 16:29 - United States - Katy

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say, "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 297

You deserved it 2 753

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/04/2015 10:05 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, I snuck downstairs to watch a midnight movie. One moment I'm trying to plug my headphones in, in the dark, and the next my dad's beating the shit out of me with a baseball bat. Turns out he snuck down after me for a midnight snack and thought I was a burglar disconnecting the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 188

You deserved it 5 303

Noise complaint

By scarred - 27/07/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 097

You deserved it 3 955

Caught in 1080p

By wtf - 16/05/2014 22:25 - Australia - Narangba

Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 639

You deserved it 14 999

Lock it up

By stickyface - 24/10/2010 05:18 - Canada

Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs TV room. Just as he was about to come, I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door right as he came. I didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 059

You deserved it 41 811

By fmjob - 21/07/2009 04:39 - Canada

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 290

You deserved it 6 253

Quick, hide!

By Mattyboy - 24/08/2009 09:57 - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 943

You deserved it 18 652

Didn't see you there

By eatmyshipoopie - 18/12/2009 15:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 662

You deserved it 10 157

By Tiana - 29/01/2012 02:34 - Canada

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 350

You deserved it 9 268

By NO NO NO - 05/08/2013 21:42 - Netherlands - Den Haag

Today, I came home a little earlier than usual, only to walk in on my dad frantically trying to remove a ballgag from my mom's mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 527

You deserved it 5 356

By obtuse_ballsack - 04/06/2012 20:37 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 717

You deserved it 2 759

smile2312 16

Thursday 16 July 2015 0:00

oh goodness, what happened after???

carebear1228 20

Thursday 16 July 2015 0:03

another victim petrified by thier father's basilisk.

Comments

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 16 July 2015 4:16

at least he didn't follow up with "who's your daddy?"

Thoricsteam20 24

Thursday 16 July 2015 5:19

Oh god

yourwifelovesme 25

Thursday 16 July 2015 4:32

oh. dear. god.

mcluvin_707 6

Thursday 16 July 2015 4:42

I have never wanted a follow up as much as now

Sabatrash 11

Thursday 16 July 2015 4:57

And that,children,is why you wait until the light's on to get freaky.

worldclassrager 39

Thursday 16 July 2015 5:11

Maybe watching a movie in your room for now on wouldn't be a bad idea...

ukuartist 13

Thursday 16 July 2015 5:18

Don't leave us on a cliffhanger, all of us want to know what happened afterwords. D:

One_Way 43

Thursday 16 July 2015 5:24

At least he didn't say "Who's your daddy?"

vidala1991 12

Thursday 16 July 2015 5:34

Eew that's nasty xD

sexymomo1234 20

Thursday 16 July 2015 8:00

That is why you don't do out for a midnight snack

sexymomo1234 20

Thursday 16 July 2015 8:05

That is why you don't go out for a midnight snack!

Keywords

Cars Transportation Poopoo peepee Health Awkward Dentist My ex Love Shopping Animals Cats Clothes Job interview Work Miscellaneous Weird Holidays Family Vacation AITA Am I overreacting? Parents Annoying Funerals Harassment Relatable Engagement Ironic Food Technology

The Top

Today, I went into work. After three years of working 55 hours a week, they fired me by putting the contents of my locker at the front door, with a note that said "If not picked up by 10:00 am stuff will be donated." I work the night shift. I just lost three sweaters, two pairs of shoes, $60, and my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 549

You deserved it 2 738

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 488

You deserved it 15 053

The Top

Today, I sent my long-distance boyfriend a heartfelt message about how much I missed him. He sent me back a picture of a Minion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 432

You deserved it 3 734

Today, my daughter asked me how long she had to put her 2-minute noodles in the microwave for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 359

You deserved it 7 776

Today, a lady threw a coke bottle at my head because she had a non-winning lottery ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 642

You deserved it 2 251

Today, I’m bisexual and recently got into talking with a man after dumping my girlfriend. I had a “craving” for a man and when I went to fulfill my needs, it wasn't even two inches long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 1 333

Today, I found out that even though my sister and I are identical twins, I'm known as "The ugly one". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 385

You deserved it 3 640

Today, my mother finally pressured me to wear my old helmet while riding my bike. Halfway through my ride, 3 spiders came crawling out of it and onto my face, causing me to lose control of the bike and crash head-first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 646

You deserved it 7 909