Intimacy: Moving

Moving

By happyasaclam - 19/02/2009 00:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were hooking up while watching a movie. Just as I was getting really into it, he told me to move my head. He couldn't see the television. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 096

You deserved it 6 052

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Same thing different taste

Disinterested

By lily - 13/09/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I slightly opened my eyes during it and saw him with his eyes wide open, watching TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 379

You deserved it 347

By unwantedlove - 25/02/2011 18:36 - France

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 159

You deserved it 6 914

Fascinated

By Anonymous - 09/04/2009 19:46 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The TV was on with the volume low, as we had been too preoccupied to turn it off. All of a sudden, my boyfriend stopped mid-thrust. He was watching the TV. House MD was on. He'd stopped to watch the differential diagnosis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 420

You deserved it 15 281

By Anonymous - 06/01/2011 06:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. My boyfriend noticed that every time I'm about to climax, I hit my head on something. Whether it's a wall or his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 481

You deserved it 6 148

By Anonymous - 12/02/2012 04:52 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. Soon, I noticed he was being very quiet. When I looked up, he was in a deep sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 221

You deserved it 8 489

By fishruinsex - 08/12/2010 08:46

Today, I was messing around in my boyfriend's pants while watching TV. He was totally absorbed in the fishing show that was on. When the guy lost a fish, he got so disappointed that he became completely flaccid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 364

You deserved it 6 001

Crazy nights

By Ugh... - 20/07/2010 08:15 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house. Expecting to get a little action, I was surprised to find that he had fallen asleep while I was showering. I spent my night watching television and browsing the internet while he snored. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 566

You deserved it 10 079

By comics over coatis - 04/04/2017 12:00

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me for starting to give him oral sex because I wasn't paying attention to the Marvel movie he was showing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 391

You deserved it 2 553

Pick your moments, dude!

By Anonymous - 11/10/2019 00:01

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 906

You deserved it 345

By Djcc - 21/02/2012 18:03 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 983

You deserved it 7 113

source_fml 0

Friday 27 February 2009 18:37

So hooking up means making out, or having sex? Just curious, I don't speak middle school anymore.

Corn_Is_Tasty 0

Monday 2 March 2009 7:10

Rule #1, never watch something to interesting while fooling around. Guys will always pay equal attention to both, or so we think.

Comments

123sploosh 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 0:01

onmg my boyfriend did that too ! i was actually hella pissed. what did you say? and dont worry about it, it was probably just a good movie haha

Guitarist45 0

Thursday 23 July 2009 8:04

well, he did pay for the movie......

MeandSunnyD 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 8:55

lol #14

medanon2377 0

Friday 18 December 2009 3:36

Just move your head. It's not difficult. And maybe that was the best sex of his life. Watching a movie and having sex. Great Combo.

d3adb3for3d3ath 0

Thursday 19 August 2010 1:05

did (both of) you break up with him after that?

causeimfly 0

Tuesday 10 May 2011 4:43

Those lyrics are wrong. :|

lisha88 1

Tuesday 21 June 2011 23:20

I guess you should get some tips on how to be better so nothing would distract him

CSTDude77 7

Saturday 3 March 2012 7:43

Well don't get in his way :P

CBR600rr_2006 6

Friday 1 August 2014 7:31

Men are easily distracted OP

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend, who used to have the sex drive of a rabbit on Viagra, has recently lost all interest. It turns out that because her dad finally approves of me, she’s no longer interested in me. Apparently she only lusted after me when her dad didn’t like me, so now I’m of no interest to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 122

Today, I was told that I'm very likely to win the "Most Likely to Exceed 5 Cats" yearbook award. My best friend said, "They wanted it to be 'Most Likely to Die Alone', but it was a bit harsh." Someone else added, "It's still pretty likely, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 759

You deserved it 4 465

The Top

Today, after being played like Playstation 5 by so many girls, I decided to give a chance to the girl who used to be my best friend and who I turned down. I went on Facebook to hit her up. First thing I see on my feed is her engagement photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 1 349

Today, while standing by the kitchen window I noticed a mouse running across our lawn on top of the snow. I called my two daughters to come see it, but by the time they got to the window a hawk was shredding the poor thing to pieces. My kids didn't stop crying for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 681

You deserved it 6 690

Today, I found out you really can burn down a kitchen by boiling an egg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 474

You deserved it 840

Today, I woke up with a high fever and hallucinations. I called for my mother, who after checking me, swore that I was just hungover from a night of partying, called me a "f*cking hedonist", and refused to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 054

You deserved it 4 532

Today, I was shopping with a friend. We snuck into the same fitting room so we could give our opinions on each other's clothes. The suspicious saleswoman knocked on the door and asked how many people were in our room. I quickly answered, "It's OK. She's just watching." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 341

You deserved it 7 710

Today, my mom struggled tried to say my name. She said my brother's name, my sister's, my dad's, my uncle's, and finally my cat's (who doesn't even have a human name) before she gave up and said, "You!" and pointed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 870

You deserved it 120