Sex, Gross and Intimacy: Mr Clean - FML

Mr Clean

By Anonymous - 18/01/2013 10:50 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 269

You deserved it 7 595

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 04/11/2014 12:03 - Canada - North Vancouver

Spicy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 244

You deserved it 8 495

By Anonymous - 07/12/2011 17:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 883

You deserved it 20 681

By BarbieKen - 14/06/2009 04:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 139

You deserved it 63 338

By Rella - 15/12/2018 03:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the 69 position with me on top and as we changed positions, and I turned to face him, I saw toilet paper on his face that he didn't seem to notice and that I casually had to wipe off his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 030

You deserved it 1 307

Mr Clean

By Jenn - 18/08/2021 09:59

Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 344

You deserved it 130

By Anonymous - 30/05/2013 03:55 - United States - Redlands

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 772

You deserved it 9 825

By Becca - 31/01/2010 05:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 076

You deserved it 7 039

Joe Bidet

By tmrwsmggls - 16/11/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 347

Kinky

By LaLa - 09/01/2012 05:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 785

You deserved it 7 879

By "BunnysKitty" - 15/09/2017 23:15

Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 061

You deserved it 894

Next

Top comments

HelloSirs 14

Friday 18 January 2013 16:42

When they talked about this in Charmin commercials, I never believed them. Learn something new every day.

ElatedEarthling 15

Friday 18 January 2013 16:49

He was probably too wiped out to notice the extra toilet paper. I know it stinks, but it happens. Maybe next time you should just disregard it and stop being so anal.

Comments

ejayhayse 7

Saturday 19 January 2013 2:44

Ewwww that's nasty

brandeeeeee 4

Saturday 19 January 2013 3:20

Bet you will be showering before now what a turn off

StanSmith2013 26

Saturday 19 January 2013 4:46

FML has really opened my eyes on where I have been going wrong in life! I thought girls liked that?

xojoinox 5

Saturday 19 January 2013 4:54

I would hope if it happens again you inform him.

cartedor 18

Saturday 19 January 2013 11:52

What the f?

sonnyrosa 32

Saturday 19 January 2013 14:19

I don't want to say shit happens... oops, there I go, I said it... I suppose when you're that close with someone, you're gonna get the gross with the good. I can't say it's happened to me before, but there's still time. I have been sneezed on before in the middle of sex... that doesn't feel too good, but I guess, like your predicament, it can all be solved with a shared shower ;)

LittleMagicWolf 7

Saturday 19 January 2013 16:02

EWWWWWW.

hahatofunny 20

Saturday 19 January 2013 18:50

Buy some better toilet paper

viper_dlh04 1

Saturday 19 January 2013 22:05

I guess it's safe to say he doesn't use charmin.

Kratos1206 3

Saturday 19 January 2013 22:57

ain't that some shit

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The Top

Today, I bought my fiancée a dress for her birthday. She accused me of saying she was fat, because I bought it in medium rather than small. After trying on the dress, she's now not only mad at me for buying it, but also because the dress fits perfectly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 405

You deserved it 4 549

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 973

You deserved it 10 416

The Top

Today, it's been six months since I started dating this guy. For the majority of the relationship he would accuse me left and right of lying, cheating, and more. After stressing me the fuck out to my breaking point, now six months later, he casually admits that it was all a ploy to control and use me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 173

Today, I still can't find a job to support myself. The only experience I have is a month in retail and a summer spent in a kitchen de-pooping shrimp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 746

You deserved it 4 113

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 397

You deserved it 50 192

Today, I noticed that the injury on my hand from three weeks ago no longer hurt. A while later, I accidentally slammed that same hand in a door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 430

You deserved it 15 826

Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 568

You deserved it 796

Today, I found out that my wife named our son after her ex boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 166

You deserved it 2 923