Animals, Health, Sleep and Cute: My new best friend

My new best friend

By froggylicious - 16/08/2011 18:18 - Canada

Today, I woke up exhausted because a croaking frog had kept me awake the night before. This has happened every night for the past week, and no matter how far away I take the frog, it always ends up sitting in the same place the next morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 022

You deserved it 5 755

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Same thing different taste

Nature is so wonderful!

By Anonymous - 15/10/2019 18:03

Today, I was backpacking, and I was in a tent. It had rained all day and finally, I was dry. I settled down in my slightly damp sleeping bag. I woke up halfway through the night with a frog on my face and my feet in freezing cold water. Our tent had drifted into a frog pond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 611

You deserved it 433

By oops... - 19/06/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, as a frog biologist I was out in the field searching for a relatively rare frog species. After three hours I finally heard the frog call and I crept closer and closer to the sound until... squish... I stepped on the very frog I was trying to collect. They're endangered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 346

You deserved it 20 060

By BSwan - 15/03/2011 00:57 - Australia

Today, a frog made my hot tub his new home. I can't stand frogs and he moves lightening fast. I think the only way to get rid of him is to turn the heat on and boil him. Which I would do if my daughter didn't already adore him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 930

You deserved it 11 381

Alas, poor Kermit

By traumatizedforlife - 05/08/2013 20:21 - United States

Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 425

You deserved it 6 804

Alas, poor Kermit

By W...T...F - 09/08/2013 16:15 - United States

Today, I found the carcass of the frog that got into my house last week. It was a horrifying sight, but not nearly as horrifying as the fact that I found it in my refrigerator. No, I don't know how it got in there either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 513

You deserved it 3 734

Human! I request petting!

By Anonymous - 07/11/2022 06:00

Today, my cat has made a habit of waking me and my husband up every morning by meowing in front of our bedroom door until we get up. This morning, I finally got her to stop, so I went back to bed hoping to sleep in for a while… Only to be kept awake by my husband’s snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 156

Leave me alone!

By Anonymous - 18/09/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom - York

Today, I got chased by a duck. Not just any duck, the same duck that has chased me every morning for a week. I’m starting to think it has a personal vendetta against me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 126

Sharing space

By Fingerfqmycupcake - 30/10/2024 08:00 - United States - West Chicago

Today, I woke up feeling crabby because of lack of sleep. I noticed what woke me up, it was man's best friend. He kept moving around and wouldn't stop rotating in circles to get comfy. I told him to lay down and he looked at me, did another circle and lowered down, butthole first on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 338

By adad - 01/02/2010 14:34 - France

Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 815

You deserved it 38 043

By Unknown - 30/06/2014 01:05 - United States

Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 917

You deserved it 7 213

Passion4Makeup 4

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:16

Easy. Kill the damn thing.

zah_ali 3

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:16

Just wait till he croaks it. Then you're golden! :D

Comments

Battle_Man 5

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:22

sit next to it and croak with it for a while... then pull out a plate of frogs legs and some shears...

Wynthos 2

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:26

Shoot the damn animal.

misomalu 0

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:27

Two words: Hammer Time

springbok_fml 2

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:27

make an army of evil gnomes in your garden.. that should do it

sourspraykay 8

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:28

I like your username

TalkinSmack 6

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:29

Ever thought there could be 2 frogs?

JTHolloway200 0

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:36

or more

thelastlucifer 17

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:30

why not release a snake and show him who's boss?

WHITE3TIGER 0

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:34

my god kill it

Grayfoxx 5

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:38

what a great idea it's just a frog.

Alyta 0

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:42

Yes!!! i agree! Just kill it! You did your best but it insists lol

AlexRen 21

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:42

kill it

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The Top

Today, I got into an argument with my boyfriend, who recently had to move away, about not calling me enough. Apparently his moving had meant that we were now taking a break, he just forgot to talk it over with me. He still wants to visit, and keep the relationship in bed alive though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 670

You deserved it 4 364

Today, I wanted to show my friends my cat’s “high-five” trick. I held out my hand, and instead of a high-five, my cat scratched and bit me instead. I yelped, and my friends burst into laughter. I had to bandage my hand, all whilst they joked about “cat training.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 375

The Top

Today, my manager called when I was watching porn. I picked up after pausing the video, but somehow the video kept playing. I'm pretty sure she definitely heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 1 374

Today, I found the perfect job, which would help me escape my super toxic in-laws and marriage. I have all the educational and other qualifications for it, and it is a permanent well paying job with the government. Too bad the recruitment process takes years to complete, by which time I might've offed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 185

Today, my husband cheated on me 8 hours into our marriage with one of the barmaids serving drinks at the party. He claimed he was drunk and thought she was me. Kind of hard to claim that when I clearly heard him moaning her name right before I caught them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 89

Today, I surprised my girlfriend with U2 tickets. Still no action. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 175

You deserved it 33 556

Today, I bumped into a lady in the New Jersey airport. After I politely apologized she said, "Watch your step, asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 821

You deserved it 5 360

Today, my little sister was rhyming words with "truck." When she came to "fuck", I told her never to say that word again because it was bad. She ran around the house screaming it. I'm in trouble for being "a bad influence." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 685

You deserved it 225

My new best friend

Same thing different taste

Nature is so wonderful!

Alas, poor Kermit

Alas, poor Kermit

Human! I request petting!

Leave me alone!

Sharing space

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