Kids, Weird, Creepy, Babies and Love: Namesake

What you do: 1) Move to the opposite end of the country than where she is. 2) Change your name, looks, occupation, etc. 3) Pretend you've never met the crazy psycho chick.

brendonuriepatd 8

Thursday 22 September 2011 1:11

I had a creepy stalker who posted of picture on Facebook of my name in a heart.... Not creepy at all lmfao

ghostychi 9

Thursday 22 September 2011 1:15

You mean ur crazy stalker-ex actually had time conceive a baby while still stalking you.

dwsgirl 8

Thursday 22 September 2011 1:16

hmmm.... is this son yours? because then it's not all that weird. if it's not, restraining order?

bubo_fml 10

Thursday 22 September 2011 1:27

My Mum did the same thing...Everyday, she calls me "Asshole!"

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The Top

Today, my wife has video of me asleep on the sofa, clearly having a vivid sex dream, with a raging erection, ending with me having an orgasm that soaked through the front of my shorts, leaving a wet spot, which she helpfully zoomed in on just to really illustrate my shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 181

Today, the best friend I grew up with since primary school, who helped me be a single mom to my son, helping with bottle feeds, nappy changing and so on, has been shagging him since he turned 20. They’re getting married next year, despite the 24-year age gap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 328

You deserved it 133

The Top

Today, I was excited for my first date in a while, with a "tall handsome business man." Turns out he "doesn't feel emotions anymore", likes getting peed on, and "doesn't do condoms." Thanks, internet dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 968

You deserved it 15 333

Today, at breakfast, my sister labelled me a "feminist." My whole family now refuses to talk to me for more than 30 seconds, and acts as though I have an incurable, highly contagious disease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 938

You deserved it 5 489

Today, we were driving home from NYC to Knoxville after our flight got cancelled, and we had to drive with 3 strangers for 13 hours. We are now stuck in Who-Knows-Where, Virginia, with two blown tires, because a metal plate fell off an 18-wheeler in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 810

You deserved it 146

Today, while at my friend's house, I noticed her brother had a bit of an accent. I laughingly said "Is it me or does your little brother have an accent?" She stared and replied with "No, he has autism." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 788

You deserved it 47 396

Today, the neighbors in the next apartment reported me to the police for screaming at my newborn to "shut the hell up" every time he cries. I would never yell at my baby. My asshole of a dog on the other hand barks at everything, which terrifies the baby, causing him to cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 835

You deserved it 6 075

Today, knowing that the girl I broke up with last night goes crazy after breakups, I threw away my hair products, thinking she switched them with Nair. She didn't... but she did use the key I keep under a flowerpot to take all of my clothes and burn them on my lawn while I was at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 644

You deserved it 9 024