Intimacy: Nice day for it - FML

Nice day for it

By peachykeen - 15/02/2016 01:05 - United States - Savannah

Spicy

Today, the most action I had on Valentine's day was a homeless guy pulling his dick out at me as I walked home from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 062

You deserved it 1 931

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Same thing different taste

By scarredforlife - 16/06/2013 23:27 - United States - Brooklyn

Spicy

Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 494

You deserved it 5 039

By meesmees - 23/11/2013 10:48 - United States - Severna Park

Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 817

You deserved it 6 812

By :| - 16/04/2011 02:04 - Canada

Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 644

You deserved it 6 376

Vanilla Ice

By NotInterested - 23/08/2013 06:23 - United States

Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping at me while pointing at his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 094

You deserved it 4 637

Oh, hai Mark!

By scarredforlife - 12/02/2016 09:00 - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Spicy

Today, I experienced one of those moments in life you never forget. I walked into a homeless man masturbating in a parking garage stairwell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 390

You deserved it 1 831

By NoNaMe - 04/06/2009 08:07 - Australia

Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 641

You deserved it 75 204

Consider the offer

By Anonymous - 03/01/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I, someone who has experienced only one romantic relationship in my 35 years (which ended 8 years ago), was hit on by a homeless drug felon client at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 124

By Melaknee - 19/03/2009 00:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 453

You deserved it 149 791

Free hugs

By Anonymous - 25/07/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "WTF am I doing?" he kissed my boob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 672

You deserved it 53 189

By Anonymous - 27/06/2009 08:20 - Japan

Spicy

Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138 514

You deserved it 10 418

Next

Top comments

Talis99 26

Monday 15 February 2016 12:18

More than I got.

whatarethisss 23

Monday 15 February 2016 12:19

I guess he was trying to get some action on Valentine's Day too.

Comments

moocowmilk0 19

Monday 15 February 2016 13:31

You made his day probably (:

Dawnoftime 12

Monday 15 February 2016 13:35

Anyone else notice that Valentine's Day causes more harm and despair than good?

atleast_fml 6

Monday 15 February 2016 15:51

it is purely commercial thing

moodyreallyrocks 27

Monday 15 February 2016 14:05

Hope next year will be better..

melbournearsenal 18

Monday 15 February 2016 15:30

Who says chivalry is dead?

atleast_fml 6

Monday 15 February 2016 15:49

at least he finds you attractive.

am1717 22

Monday 15 February 2016 16:09

Better than nothing :)

hellnosucka 27

Monday 15 February 2016 17:25

who knows? maybe even three if they're lucky.

pete2274 12

Monday 15 February 2016 19:43

Homeless people need love too.

babywhiz 2

Monday 15 February 2016 19:44

I actually had to read this 4 times before I realized he wasn't actually IN you... I blame the FML above (about the stage actors getting caught when the curtains opened) for that visual.

miki07 4

Monday 15 February 2016 19:47

I read that as a homeless guy pulling his dick out of me. I was a little horrified for a second.

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 63

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 778

You deserved it 3 941

The Top

Today, I was complimented for having amazingly lifelike warts as part of my witch costume, and was asked how I achieved the effect so well. I didn't have the heart to admit they were just my pimples under green makeup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 932

You deserved it 2 258

Today, I went to bed at noon after having driven 11 hours from Washington to Maine. I missed my flight due to a delayed plane, and was told there were no open flights the next 2 days. I'd been driving my $200 rental car for 1.5 hrs when the airport told me, over the phone, that there was in fact a flight available. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 761

You deserved it 582

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while and realized that I can lift way more with my left hand than with my right even though I am right handed. I also realized that I jack off with my left hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 013

You deserved it 59 008

Today, I went to get my hair done. The hairdresser managed to catch my eyebrow piercing in his comb and almost rip it out. I now look like I have a gunshot wound on the upper right hand side of my face. I'm getting married in a matter of hours, and I still had to pay £100 for the hair cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 871

You deserved it 14 758

Today, I visited my girlfriend's apartment for the first time. I guess she forgot to do some spring cleaning before I showed up, because I saw my laptop on her couch. The same laptop that was stolen from my house along with several other valuables last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 044

You deserved it 2 918

Today, that awesome new dubstep song that I was rocking out to in my car was actually my transmission falling apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 942

You deserved it 4 408