Awkward and Miscellaneous: Nice deflection

Nice deflection

By solyana vr1 - 15/03/2012 01:32 - United States

Today, my husband started getting frisky, but I wasn't in the mood, so I said I'd just like to cuddle and talk. He decided a good topic of conversation was whether or not it would be physically possible to smoke my grandma's ashes from the cremation urn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 964

You deserved it 9 580

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By tdiz - 12/10/2010 04:48 - Canada

Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 888

You deserved it 3 569

Read the room

By pissed girlfriend - 25/02/2013 03:08 - United States - Celina

Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we could have sex when the "family get together" was finally over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 111

You deserved it 5 623

Weird kink but OK

By Anonymous - 25/01/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I was alone at my dad's house. I was furiously masturbating when I knocked something over. It was my grandmother's ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 558

Awkward...

By Sunny - 12/09/2018 07:30 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I went to this coffee shop in town that has a fire pit outdoors with my boyfriend. I threw out the idea of sitting by the fire together, and he responded by telling me that his father and dog died in a house fire when he was young. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 832

You deserved it 285

Creeper Alert

By of fucking course - 05/09/2017 06:00

Today, I was feeling a little frisky and started making out with my husband on our couch. He had just taken off my shirt when a strange smell hit my nose. I turned my head and saw my alcoholic neighbor with a cigarette in his hand, watching the entire thing unfold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 149

You deserved it 897

Living his best life

By shotdown - 02/12/2015 20:45 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after being sick all day with the flu, I asked my husband to wash the dishes after I went to bed. He said he couldn't because he had a large, important project for work that needed to get done. I woke up a couple of hours later to find him smoking weed on the couch and watching cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 809

You deserved it 2 418

By notnicefools - 29/05/2012 02:51 - United States - San Diego

Today, I went to visit my husband's grave. I was unable to mourn in peace because some teenagers were smoking pot and talking about a government conspiracy "to change the way gravity works" on the next grave over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 603

You deserved it 2 303

As good a time as any

By stephanie - 28/09/2018 03:00

Today, my husband tried to use his "grief" over his grandmother's death to manipulate me into giving him a blowjob. In the toilets. During the funeral. With his family only a few yards down the hall crying their eyes out. What an asshole I married. An absolute asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 660

You deserved it 999

By Anonymous - 25/02/2012 03:07 - United States

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 077

You deserved it 61 385

The inner light

By Anonymous - 21/09/2022 15:00 - United Kingdom - Aldershot

Today, I asked my husband if we could rekindle some of our old intimacy, get back in touch with each other’s inner selves, that sort of thing. He looked confused, then got a big smile and said, “You mean we can do anal again? Why didn’t you just say so?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 473

You deserved it 616

ohjessica 11

Thursday 15 March 2012 5:03

That's quite disturbing. Poor grandma.

cessily 8

Thursday 15 March 2012 5:08

His next question: "would it get me high?"

Comments

downtime 12

Thursday 15 March 2012 6:38

To which he responds by handing you divorce papers for being unable to satisfy his needs. That or just sleeps around behind your back. Then you get to experience the joy of what happens when you decide to act out vengefully when really you should just learn to get the **** over simple problems because you're married adults, not 5 year olds.

Feedmyaddiction5 14

Thursday 15 March 2012 6:41

Ydi. If you would have had sex he may not have thought about that

j_cat187 19

Thursday 15 March 2012 6:44

I don't see smoking something that has already been burned. How about you brew his ashes into your favorite cup of coffee.

wlddog 14

Thursday 15 March 2012 7:11

This is the first time I have ever heard of a revenge talk session. Your husband may just be a closet genius. Turning your 'no sex' punishment into a punishment for you is brilliant. I am going to remember this for the next time my wife pulls this stunt. Your husband has a new fan.