Sex and Intimacy: Nice try, chief

Nice try, chief

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 978

You deserved it 15 187

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Same thing different taste

The best method!

By Anonymous - 04/01/2020 18:00

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 980

You deserved it 954

By Anonymous - 19/04/2010 20:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 680

You deserved it 9 737

By what the fuck - 07/06/2013 21:20 - United Kingdom - Northolt

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 821

You deserved it 9 992

By Anonymous - 23/02/2013 18:27 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 308

You deserved it 48 638

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 11:25 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 681

You deserved it 13 291

By Picaresque - 26/02/2009 17:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285 944

You deserved it 68 198

Sounds more like a fetish…

By Jordan - 08/04/2012 10:37 - Australia - Wahroonga

Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 427

You deserved it 3 572

By anonymous - 13/11/2015 00:00 - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 319

You deserved it 3 947

Non sequitur

By lisacasabonita - 12/11/2010 16:31 - United States

Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 219

You deserved it 42 497

By fuckered519 - 06/12/2014 19:53 - United States - Du Quoin

Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 235

You deserved it 12 613

Mirorbo 26

Monday 4 April 2011 9:17

That's when you whip out a sex toy and tell him "You first"!~

Joeyc524 0

Monday 4 April 2011 9:16

Hahahha that's mad funny

Comments

The_Creeper_fml 8

Monday 4 April 2011 9:52

When in doubt: Anal

s10biker 1

Monday 4 April 2011 9:54

your boyfriend has a very valid point! go for it. you might like it

atari83man 0

Friday 24 June 2011 5:05

its true! anal isn't all that bad!!!

samicna 4

Monday 4 April 2011 9:59

marry him

javmuniz87 0

Monday 4 April 2011 10:02

he's a keeper

Viciousvixen_21 0

Monday 4 April 2011 10:01

Poopy dick

nato556 4

Monday 4 April 2011 11:18

Not if a condom is used

j_cat187 19

Monday 4 April 2011 22:06

explosive oilspill

JoshForever 0

Monday 4 April 2011 10:16

lmfao!

tahvoh 3

Monday 4 April 2011 10:22

hahaha!! WIN

MuffyStJacques 0

Monday 4 April 2011 10:26

How is that a bad thing? Sounds like my kind of man.

Jimster1712 0

Monday 4 April 2011 10:37

rofl!!!

unsuccesfulmastu 4

Monday 4 April 2011 10:48

I'm pretty damn sure anal is the answer to even the most difficult problems

VDB_3 0

Monday 4 April 2011 11:00

"You never go ass to mouth."

dandie_1121 0

Monday 4 April 2011 14:35

lmao i love that movie!

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Gross Animals Cats Awkward Smells Love Miscellaneous Embarrassing Painful Health First Dates Work Christmas Grieving Social Media Music Boredom Anniversary Intimacy Abuse Ironic Transportation AITA Am I overreacting? Alcohol Drunk Gun control Kids Parents

The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 098

You deserved it 13 428

Today, at my job as a hotel housekeeper, I accidentally entered the room of someone who hadn't left yet. To my horror, the man inside was having a massive heart attack. I just found out he passed away, despite immediate medical intervention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 698

You deserved it 83

The Top

Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 322

You deserved it 586

Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 243

You deserved it 5 276

Today, after studying all night for an exam, I ran out to catch the bus. On my way to the bus, my hair got caught in a branch for some minutes. Thinking I'd missed the bus but thankfully didn't, I went on. A few minutes later I remembered that my exam had been postponed for 3 hours today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 165

You deserved it 10 223

Today, I had to call the cops on my batshit crazy neighbor, who’s repeatedly threatened to steal my dog. I finally got her ass on camera. She swears that my dog is being abused because it prefers to sleep outside instead of being in the house. Imagine that, an animal that likes being outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 140

Today, I had to take a delivery to a known hoarder. I was braced for the sight of the house, but not the naked fat guy and the smell of dead cat when he answered the door. To top it off, they didn't even tip me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 759

You deserved it 188

Today, I dug out the 5 fancy, extremely expensive candles I bought during Black Friday. I lit one up, and was delighted that it smelled so great. My mother then walked into my room and stated that it smelled "like shit". The other four were going to be a Christmas gift for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 588

You deserved it 3 709