Sex, Cheating and Love: Nice try, Steve

Nice try, Steve

By betrayed - 16/07/2014 20:09 - United States - Portland

Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-girlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 608

You deserved it 4 591

Back to School: Quiproquos and Notebooks
Laugh at back-to-school mishaps, with dazed students and overwhelmed teachers! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

You must be kidding me

By SingleAndHomeless - 22/05/2022 18:00

Today, I came home early from work. My boyfriend and I live together. I open the door and I found my best friend watching TV on the couch, wearing lingerie. The room smelled like sex. She acted irrational and defensive, and had the audacity to ask what I was doing here. Bitch, I live here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 748

You deserved it 139

By Anonymous - 28/04/2018 23:00 - United States - Binghamton

Today, I found out that my best friend used the sexy dance moves she asked me to teach her to get into my ex-boyfriend’s pants. We dated for two years and broke up less than a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 217

You deserved it 433

What's going on here?

By Heartbroken - 30/10/2023 06:00

Today, I came home from work to hear loud moans coming from the room that my husband and I share. I barged in and both he and this girl are scrambling around the room. He’s a music teacher and claimed he was giving her vocal lessons. That would make more sense had they both not been half naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 116

By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 16:21 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 043

You deserved it 45 862

Roid rage incoming

By screwed - 22/12/2010 17:56 - Canada

Today, I accidentally walked in on my roommate while she was changing clothes. She insisted on telling her boyfriend what had happened, because, "It wouldn't feel right" if she didn't. Her boyfriend is a MMA fighter/bodybuilder and has major jealousy issues. I'm screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 363

You deserved it 4 284

Set the scene

By NJ. - 24/01/2009 10:41 - United States

Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend, with whom I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlocked the door to see that the place was a mess. She'd thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 230

You deserved it 2 449

Classic

By Singleagain - 10/01/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 123

By drugged_on_arrival - 10/09/2009 10:55 - Virgin Islands British

Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 227

You deserved it 16 838

By je suis christy - 09/01/2015 19:04 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 938

You deserved it 3 144

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 713

You deserved it 10 552

cyttex 13

Thursday 17 July 2014 1:00

What a douchebag and shitty friend

HairyPunisher 27

Thursday 17 July 2014 1:00

They had nowhere better to go than your apartment? Time for new friends, a new girlfriend, and new locks OP.

Comments

UmmOkThen 31

Thursday 17 July 2014 5:27

Push-ups without a bra, huh.... Sounds uncomfortable.

abc_1_2_3 12

Thursday 17 July 2014 7:19

The fml says they were in their underwear, so maybe it was a pushup bra? No? *hides under rock*

zarosian 17

Thursday 17 July 2014 5:39

I hope you popped him between the eyes

Chaith 16

Thursday 17 July 2014 5:51

Ex-Girlfriend and best friend? I hope you mean Ex-Girlfriend and "Ex-Best Friend."

LonelyFellow 1

Thursday 17 July 2014 5:52

If your in Texas you could have shoot him. Best "friend" or not, i would have done it. All my friends know this too.

eg_noob 11

Thursday 17 July 2014 6:05

You could show them both a form of push ups and push them out the window together

vikky538 28

Thursday 17 July 2014 6:06

what a lame excuse...

pratikp03 22

Thursday 17 July 2014 6:19

It's ur ex y u care

Nymeria_fml 25

Thursday 17 July 2014 6:23

It says "now ex-girlfriend", so I'm assuming THIS is the reason why they broke up...

rocker_chick23 27

Thursday 17 July 2014 8:09

#85:He obviously broke up with his girlfriend after he found her cheating on him, hence the now ex part.

metalhedcop 6

Thursday 17 July 2014 11:55

You truly are a dumbass

jelly_bennett 23

Thursday 17 July 2014 6:22

Wow that's just cruel of them. Sorry to hear that OP I hope you discover a better life without them!

azyjazy713 11

Thursday 17 July 2014 6:47

The ultimate betrayal. Ppl have been shot for less. Fyl op

OhNoAGhost 18

Thursday 17 July 2014 8:10

I'll never understand people, I'm heartbroken just reading this. Sorry, OP.

Keywords

Love Relatable My ex Party Work Empathy Awkward Bosses Furniture Dogs Animals Zoom Delivery Weird Miscellaneous Amazon Kids Babysitter Stuck Geek Family Technology Cats Cute Money Mysterious Public freakouts Sex Intimacy Crime

The Top

Today, at the reading of my mother's last will and testament, I found out that despite having cared for her for the final years of her life, she denied me an inheritance. She basically said I'm an embarrassment, because when she wrote it, I was 31 years-old, with no wife or children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 291

You deserved it 2 398

Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 1 228

The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me he’d have a surprise for me when I got home. The surprise was he’d moved out, dumped me, and cut me off from his share of the bills, because he’s not interested in marriage and babies. I can’t afford the rent by myself so I’m going to have to move back to my mother's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 239

You deserved it 191

Today, I found my cat who's been missing for three days, sitting inside my neighbor's window. He won't answer the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 741

You deserved it 1 840

Today, I was moving in with a housemate who was fixing his car outside. First, my dad was helping me move, but got distracted by the car, then my boyfriend came to help and also got distracted by the car. I've been moving everything by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 165

Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend handed me this month’s rental statement with “Paid” written in red ink. He says it’s my gift, because, "that shit adds up every month" and I should be "grateful" that I have a roof over my head for another month instead of being "materialistic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 494

Today, I suffered a mental breakdown. I told my roommates about it, and they decided to throw a very loud party while I was sobbing in my room, unable to sleep. My Xanax prescription ran out, I have no more sick days, and I have to wake up in two hours to work a ten hour day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 130

You deserved it 7 526

Today, I found a parking citation from my college on my car windshield. It read PERMIT CITATION at the top. It confused me, as I had bought a parking permit 2 or 3 weeks before so that I wouldn't get a ticket. Turns out I got fined because the permit was on the wrong side of the windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 568

You deserved it 7 279