Intimacy: Nice try

Nice try

By realitybites - 08/07/2013 17:03 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home, my boyfriend asked for road head, arguing that "She said that stuff about orgasms." Not you, honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 139

You deserved it 7 333

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Same thing different taste

Waste of time

By I'mmessedup - 29/09/2021 22:59

Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 152

You deserved it 538

By how about never? - 19/10/2014 11:22 - United States - San Fernando

Today, I gave birth to my first child. The first thing my husband says? "When can I hit it again, doc?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 924

You deserved it 5 173

Busting makes me feel good

By neverdoingthatagain - 27/02/2016 03:35 - United States - Pottstown

Today, my wife's pregnancy hormones made her extremely horny. The doctor said that intercourse during pregnancy was very healthy, so we decided to do it. Let's just say that the bumpy ride didn't help her morning sickness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 356

You deserved it 2 145

By Anonymous - 04/10/2012 15:17 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 053

You deserved it 4 241

Confusion is Sex

By Anonymous - 18/08/2021 18:01

Today, I was giving my wife a massage. That led to some very intense and passionate love making, and she told me that has been the best sex we’ve had. Next thing I know, she's upset and yelling at me about how massages always lead to sex. She was asking for it. Literally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 803

You deserved it 168

By crazy mother in law - 17/12/2012 18:48

Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 124

You deserved it 5 027

By anonymous - 13/11/2015 00:00 - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 319

You deserved it 3 947

By Anonymous - 28/02/2014 21:10 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 853

You deserved it 16 533

By Anonymous - 19/03/2019 06:00 - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Today, after a 3-month dry spell because I am recovering after having a baby, I was finally in the mood to get intimate with my husband. Foreplay was great, the sex was great until my back gave out right as I was about to cum. I can't move without intense pain. I just wanted to orgasm! FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 597

You deserved it 257

By countryblumpkin - 01/08/2013 18:06 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, my husband begged me to go down on him while he sat on the toilet, taking a crap. He tried to convince me that we'd both somehow experience mind-blowing orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 089

You deserved it 7 167

pwnman 33

Monday 8 July 2013 22:53

You could have said that having sex with him caused the problems!

xoamy906 25

Monday 8 July 2013 22:53

What would make him think it was about him?

Comments

Shepardspie71 8

Tuesday 9 July 2013 6:46

Wow. Is he in Mensa??

spunkylady 24

Tuesday 9 July 2013 6:53

He actually expected you to be able to get your head down there? I couldn't even get my damn pants on alone the last two weeks of my pregnancy lol

nvo 6

Tuesday 9 July 2013 8:08

Hey, if he is the one who pushes the kid out ... sure ;-)

BlancSlate 10

Tuesday 9 July 2013 8:35

It has been shown that ingesting semen can in fact, induce labour. Maybe he really did want to help?

Grimnirwher9 21

Tuesday 9 July 2013 17:48

Actually, research has indicated that sex during pregnancy doesn't induce labor at all - in fact, it prevents premature childbirth.

amifaiyaz 12

Wednesday 10 July 2013 3:39

Just tell him to wait until he gets pregnant.

agmechstud 2

Wednesday 10 July 2013 12:06

you can't fault the guy for trying!

asia3pea90 13

Wednesday 10 July 2013 14:44

Boyfriend?...not husband?...ugh. Come on...you can do better...

minidrone_fml 11

Wednesday 10 July 2013 18:55

My brother and sister in law tried a few years ago when she was expecting my nephew. Guess what ? It didn't work and one week and a half after the delivery date given by her doctor she had to be given an injection to start the labour (one of her fondest memories ...)