Furniture and Miscellaneous: Nice try

Nice try

By grovage - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a repairman came to fix my couch, which is under warranty because the frame had broken in multiple places. To ensure I got a new couch out of the deal, I stabbed multiple holes into the cushion. The guy fixed the frame, but said there was nothing he could do about lacerations on the sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 792

You deserved it 81 994

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Same thing different taste

Customized

By gss - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I pulled one of my favorite hoodies out of my closet, and immediately noticed several large stains on it. Apparently, my dad had managed to open a hole in the roof and couldn't be bothered to patch it, so a squirrel got in and used my closet as a litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 515

You deserved it 2 280

Boxing

By Holly - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I had to wait in a hospital room because I cut myself with a knife while trying to open a box of soda. After three stitches, I went home only to notice the box has an easy-open tab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 519

You deserved it 32 193

Suspicious

By StevieMe - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 782

You deserved it 99 808

By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 18:55 - United States

Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 862

You deserved it 4 723

Dumbass

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 987

You deserved it 248

By "ztodaro" - 30/06/2017 20:00

Today, while I was inside a store, I heard a crash. Of course I ignored it because my car was parked. I paid for my items and walked out to see this. Nobody else was around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 890

You deserved it 291

Silly idea

By jameen - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Tadley

Today, whilst out shopping with my crush, I decided to jokingly try on a silly-looking dress in an overly-expensive shop. Apparently I took the wrong size as I couldn't get out. Not only did the shop assistants have to publicly cut me out of the dress, I had to pay for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 852

You deserved it 47 264

I was right all along

By 3peeps - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I came to the conclusion that I was right about thinking how much it would hurt to hit your head on a door-frame, stub your toe on a stone table leg, and then trip over your cat, who won't take it well and will probably claw your recently stubbed toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 812

You deserved it 4 059

Neil Diamond was wrong

By LucyLollipop - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I had my first glass of red wine after months of pregnancy and giving birth. Just as I sat down and started to relax, I spilled it all over myself and my in-law’s couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 270

You deserved it 937

Guilty

By jamienicole1993 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Savannah

Today, I woke up to a broken car window and a text from my ex that read, "Before you ask me, the answer is yes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 925

You deserved it 3 338

YdoIhaveAchode 4

Thursday 3 May 2012 8:02

You're stupid.

EricWill 1

Thursday 3 May 2012 8:04

Are you retarded?

Comments

killaKT 2

Thursday 3 May 2012 14:57

You deserved it for trying to scan them

nancyschmancy 9

Thursday 3 May 2012 15:20

I had to register just to comment on this FML. You are extremely lucky he fixed the frame. Considering your act of vandalism on the upholstery, he could have told the manufacturer that the frame was most likely broken due to abuse. I hope you are taken out of the gene pool before you spawn. YDI

HighGTurn 12

Thursday 3 May 2012 15:21

Two words, DUMB ASS!!!

nancyschmancy 9

Thursday 3 May 2012 15:24

I totally agree with you. The douche should have been denied!

Caliborn_06 11

Thursday 3 May 2012 15:45

Hahahahahahahahaha!

darkmis1 17

Thursday 3 May 2012 15:50

He's not gonna give you a new couch for something you obviously did. Holes don't just randomly show up in couches. YDI

Crystal55621 19

Thursday 3 May 2012 15:54

Why would you call OP a dumbass if you can't even spell?

mezochan 29

Thursday 3 May 2012 15:57

I take it you didn't read your warranty information? There's usually a "we don't cover dumbasses damage" clause.

robert76 5

Thursday 3 May 2012 16:00

That's what you get for trying to take advantage of the company. Just an FYI, a warranty isn't legally required. Trying to take advantage of one is no different than trying to take advantage of a favor from a friend. You so deserve it.