Sex and Intimacy: Nutella then? - FML

Nutella then?

By meeee - 21/03/2013 10:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a serious argument and he stormed out of the house mad. Why? I wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of his knob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 381

You deserved it 17 956

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/08/2012 12:12 - United States - Worcester

Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 361

You deserved it 5 921

By Popscene - 26/09/2012 09:06 - Australia - Gold Coast

Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument; however, his new-found passion for hardcore rapping meant that he tried to "diss" me using bad rhymes and ill thought-out putdowns. It was ridiculous, and didn't really make any sense, so I started giggling. He stormed off, grumbling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 393

You deserved it 2 937

Equality

By Anonymous - 04/12/2011 07:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 231

You deserved it 6 355

By Tallulah - 29/07/2011 06:56 - United Kingdom

Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 443

You deserved it 6 568

By jaxattax - 20/10/2009 20:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 558

You deserved it 82 920

Funky

By Cleanfreak? - 25/06/2017 00:00 - Denmark - ?lborg

Today, I got into an argument, followed by the silent treatment from my boyfriend, because I told him that he should change his underwear daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 951

You deserved it 597

My chocolate

By oops - 31/12/2019 05:00

Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 1 795

By nokeys - 02/04/2009 20:16 - United States

Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend after driving 200 miles to see him. While arguing, I told him I never wanted to see him again and left after slamming the front door. I left my car keys in his kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 794

You deserved it 59 090

This ain't working out

By just a reaction - 17/08/2020 23:09

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a heated argument. He raised his hand like he was going to hit me. Having been hit by my ex before, I panicked and instinctively kicked his legs out from under him. He then dumped me because he said he was just gonna scare me, but I used real violence on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 056

You deserved it 337

That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore

By JustAJokeMan - 03/03/2023 06:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I realized how visibly upset my boyfriend got whenever a certain female friend leaves. When my other friend and I teased him about secretly being in love with her, he completely lost it. He threw a temper tantrum, spilled milkshake all over the floor, and stormed out of the mall. It was just a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 230

Next

Top comments

HowieDoIt 21

Thursday 21 March 2013 16:18

Would she prefer whipped cream and nuts?

perdix 29

Thursday 21 March 2013 16:25

What's wrong with you? Chocolate syrup is so great, I'll bet a lot of dudes who aren't even gay would lick it off. Not me, I'm on a diet.

Comments

BaronVonSteuben 5

Friday 29 March 2013 20:15

Sounds like he was trying to meet you half way.

shrode65 6

Saturday 30 March 2013 13:05

Ur being a prude, really.

DoughtyPine 1

Sunday 30 June 2013 22:08

Well go get some chocolate syrup and bring him back

Comrade_Nova 6

Tuesday 9 July 2013 6:29

Today my girl friend wouldn't lick chocolate syrup of my dick. FML.

Tressa1982 18

Wednesday 21 August 2013 6:22

syrup is such a sticky mess

send3426 24

Friday 24 July 2015 3:10

why not

dilliedill 13

Thursday 25 February 2016 2:29

men

jaydoo 6

Sunday 12 March 2017 2:00

Don't knock it if you haven't tried it.

J15237 25

Monday 30 December 2019 17:47

Stupid question why not try something new? I mean it may not really be your thing, but why not try? If you have an allergy and your boyfriend forgot that would have been fine and you should be mad. However, if he just was suggesting something new I think you should have just tried.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, our baby refuses to sleep through the night. My dad told us to play Heavy Metal because it put me to sleep as a baby. We are currently playing "Jekyll and Hyde" by Five Finger Death Punch on repeat and she’s been asleep for 7 hours. Unfortunately, the neighbours are furious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 179

Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 057

You deserved it 3 210

The Top

Today, at work, a little girl came in and asked if we had any dance clothes. As I showed her, I asked if she was in a competition. When she said yes, I crossed my fingers and told her I hoped she would win. Unfortunately, I didn't cross them properly and I accidentally gave her the finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 400

You deserved it 34 158

Today, my oven decided that it was going to lock and clean itself right in the middle of cooking my steaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 675

You deserved it 4 236

Today, I was texting a girl that I've liked for some time. When I asked her what she was doing, she replied "texting and p.s. I love you". I replied by telling her my feelings for her. Turns out "p.s. I love you" was the name of the movie she was watching with her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 923

You deserved it 12 952

Today, I learned not to jump off a stage if nobody is going to catch you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 237

You deserved it 38 274

Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 565

You deserved it 3 812

Today, I thought it would be funny to bust out some dance moves in the middle of the supermarket to embarrass my teenage daughter. As I was trying to the moonwalk, I slipped on a wet spot and crashed into a stack of cereal boxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 711