Health, Sex, Doctor and Awkward: Of course not - FML

Of course not

By Mona Lisa was a skank-ass ho - 24/05/2015 15:56 - United Kingdom - Cheadle

Spicy

Today, my new doctor asked if I'm sexually active. I said no. He nodded and murmured "No surprise there." Thanks, mate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 502

You deserved it 2 722

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Same thing different taste

By starbird - 23/02/2009 19:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to the Doctors and the nurse asked if I was married, in which I responded "yes". Then she asked if I was sexually active... "no". FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 091

You deserved it 10 633

By jons - 17/02/2009 21:54 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 518

You deserved it 3 608

By Anonymous - 02/05/2009 00:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor went through the normal questions, then paused for a moment and jotted something down. Later when I got back my report from the checkup, I noticed that the doctor had checked the "no" box by "sexually active." She didn't even ask me that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 454

You deserved it 6 474

Touched for the very first time

By Anonymous - 06/11/2019 18:00

Spicy

Today, I went to a new doctor. She asked me how long I had been sexually active. I said I'm not. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 412

You deserved it 376

By Anonymous - 20/07/2016 22:28 - United States - Columbus

Today, I went to a new doctor. While filling out charts she looked up and said, "I'm assuming you are single." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 764

You deserved it 932

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 14:46 - United States

Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me "have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "you mean with other people?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 356

You deserved it 71 730

By Nails - 22/02/2009 03:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 129

You deserved it 7 243

By manlyman - 05/04/2009 13:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I are having some fertility problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said, "Mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 309

You deserved it 5 309

Creepy nevertheless

By humdrummitydrum - 19/08/2014 20:46 - United States

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 224

You deserved it 6 680

By Anonymous - 15/08/2014 03:35 - United States - Brandon

Spicy

Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and every time he asks about my genitals, he winks at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 025

You deserved it 4 342

Next

Top comments

nityasomaiya 46

Monday 25 May 2015 6:04

I can't help but laugh at OP's username.

CB_LAZ3 11

Monday 25 May 2015 6:02

You'll get yours OP, don't worry about your doctor being a shitty person.

Comments

sdroze1389 31

Monday 25 May 2015 8:10

everyone thinks they're a comedian, even when it's inappropriate.

saffy66 34

Monday 25 May 2015 9:32

Maybe he has seen a whole series of people lately with signs of STDs and he noticed you didn't. It may not have been meant offensively. Don't take it to heart OP.

CrazedSanity 17

Monday 25 May 2015 9:43

Totally inappropriate. If at all possible, get a new doctor.

amarie2009 22

Monday 25 May 2015 11:12

Is his name "House" by any chance?

katiebergen69 1

Monday 25 May 2015 11:19

After seeing your username, I agree with the doctor.

ColonelCusswords 24

Monday 25 May 2015 11:55

Ouch, scathing...

athenaG 4

Monday 25 May 2015 12:33

Ouch.

gintwinsmoore 20

Monday 25 May 2015 16:23

Those damned doctors really do get their little puck shots in wherever possible don't they? Assholes.

worldclassrager 39

Monday 25 May 2015 16:25

Give it time...cross your fingers and lie if he asks again if you haven't had any action

kissandcontrol01 20

Monday 25 May 2015 18:49

OP, you could be "like everyone else" but they can never be you.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 318

You deserved it 9 464

Today, and ever since I told my wife I had sacked my secretary, a pretty redhead, I’ve noticed my wife has started reverting to her old habit of getting headaches on Fridays, which is normally sex night. Funny how this wasn’t a problem when I had a pretty secretary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 990

You deserved it 1 050

The Top

Today, I was fired from my job at a local family-ran restaurant. The Reason? The owner's daughter has been stealing money from the register little by little and has blamed me for all the lost money. The boss is still convinced it's me, though, because his daughter would "never tell a lie". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 580

You deserved it 2 518

Today, I've got two family members over to stay. So far, I have found a dirty Q-Tip, a nasty toe nail and had to clean up period blood from toilets, bin, and the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 729

You deserved it 155

Today, our internet is down so I told my daughter to watch a DVD instead. She looked at me dead in the face and asked what a DVD was. To think I even remember VHS tapes. Damn I’m getting old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 153

Today, my boyfriend told me that when I orgasm, I sound like I'm choking. Only I'm not choking, I'm just getting the wind knocked out of me by his weight when he is on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 266

You deserved it 394

Today, my son hates people so much he's working three jobs to be able move out and pay for his own place. He got the keys today and when I asked if he was having a housewarming party, he told me he’s not giving his address out to anyone, and no one is invited, ever, not even me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 627

Today, I broke my toe. My mom didn't think it was necessary to take me to hospital, opting to give me some painkillers instead. They were so strong that I fell asleep for an hour during my exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 527

You deserved it 4 085