Intimacy: Oh yeah?

Oh yeah?

By alexis89 - 26/05/2009 16:53 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice, "Oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said, "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 542

You deserved it 20 194

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Orders

By belljars - 18/04/2014 02:27 - United States - Riverside

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 197

You deserved it 9 151

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 311

You deserved it 2 764

Acting is hard work

By S. Dub - 10/04/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 956

You deserved it 307

Excuuuuuuse me?

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 13:32 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 488

You deserved it 11 509

By milked - 27/02/2015 05:28 - United States

Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 424

You deserved it 6 869

By picturemenakedbaby - 21/07/2009 10:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 970

You deserved it 12 729

By 504-A1 - 11/05/2012 22:02 - Canada - Barrie

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 517

You deserved it 10 415

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 774

You deserved it 4 441

So sensual...

By Wellokthen - 17/02/2017 22:00 - United States

Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 074

You deserved it 1 157

By uhoh - 16/02/2013 05:27 - Canada - Sechelt

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 553

You deserved it 59 974

annis_fml 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 23:28

lol...he seems to have some insecurity issues

rukusrazor 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 23:31

What a loser, unless you are a constant nag, so much so that he thinks everything you say to him sounds like you're telling him what and how to do.

Comments

modifiedchick 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 3:18

dump him

ohhhhno 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 3:23

93 is pissed they can't get laid. :(

LilKonvicted 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 3:26

haha! :3

itsgen 16

Wednesday 27 May 2009 3:31

hahah this one is my new FAVORITE LMAO i cant believe he said that AND pulled out but this should of been an fml for him cuz hes stupid i think he might like the dirty talk but he didnt get what you were trying to do

mdman_fml 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 3:33

LMAO i moderated this one, i couldnt wait to see peoples comments on this, i LMAO'd when i read this

omglyktotally78 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 3:37

I only say what I say cuz I haven't gotten laid in over a month and I'm used to having sex on the reg. Other people talking about having sex makes me bitter/jealous. Hence the bitchy response which is #93. Don't take it too seriously, just words of a person who hasn't gotten any in a while. :)

lakeylove 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 3:40

LAME EVERYONE USES THAT! say ooooh im gonna have to clean u after this or oooooh i like this part. IM NOT EVEN A TEEN and i kno that. dont be so original be EXOCTIC! well dont post erotic adds on craiglisyt the cerial killer will want u!

repyourcliche 0

Friday 19 February 2010 18:33

"everyone uses that... i'm not even a teen" oh god, tell me you are not serious?

Chocolate_Chunk 2

Monday 23 August 2010 9:41

that's what **** movies do to you

Naheelawhatwhat 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 3:45

See if I end up talking dirty to my boyfriend and saying anything like that, he'll end up cuming a lot sooner and I usually don't want that to happen so I just keep quiet during sex.