Intimacy: Oh yeah?

Oh yeah?

By alexis89 - 26/05/2009 16:53 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice, "Oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said, "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 542

You deserved it 20 194

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Same thing different taste

Orders

By belljars - 18/04/2014 02:27 - United States - Riverside

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 197

You deserved it 9 151

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 311

You deserved it 2 764

Acting is hard work

By S. Dub - 10/04/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 956

You deserved it 307

Excuuuuuuse me?

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 13:32 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 488

You deserved it 11 509

By milked - 27/02/2015 05:28 - United States

Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 424

You deserved it 6 869

By picturemenakedbaby - 21/07/2009 10:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 970

You deserved it 12 729

By 504-A1 - 11/05/2012 22:02 - Canada - Barrie

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 517

You deserved it 10 415

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 774

You deserved it 4 441

So sensual...

By Wellokthen - 17/02/2017 22:00 - United States

Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 074

You deserved it 1 157

By uhoh - 16/02/2013 05:27 - Canada - Sechelt

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 553

You deserved it 59 974

annis_fml 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 23:28

lol...he seems to have some insecurity issues

rukusrazor 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 23:31

What a loser, unless you are a constant nag, so much so that he thinks everything you say to him sounds like you're telling him what and how to do.

Comments

greatnt249 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 23:33

Insecure much?

MiSSaNNa89 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 23:33

HAHAHAHAHA what a lame aS$

glamorous67 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 23:33

@9 hahahahaha and to the OP that sucks but thankyou for sharing that made me crack up

zak_lauersdorf 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 23:34

haha I voted for this one

Victoria2103 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 23:35

Hahaha. Awww. I feel bad for him! Sounds like he's worried about his performance in bed. You should reassure him.

lovelymess 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 23:35

Aww that's awkward :/

t6a6m6m6y 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 23:35

run as hard as you can from this man... loser !!!!

elen25 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 23:35

That sucks, he needs to lighten up.

Tipsterr 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 23:35

He sure knows how to kill the mood instantly.

farmgirl 3

Tuesday 26 May 2009 23:35

wow my boyfriend likes it when i call out harder and faster when we're having sex

LissaMccracken 23

Thursday 14 November 2013 3:46

...who cares

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Haircut Cute Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, I found out that my boyfriend lost a bunch of money by buying some scam cryto crap linked to that "Hawk tuah" girl. Easiest break-up ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 116

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 127

You deserved it 3 083

The Top

Today, after retyping a 22-page report for work because the orginal had gone missing, i realized I had used a different laptop the first time. I now have 2 copies of the same report, both of which are late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 471

You deserved it 2 114

Today, I was eating at Applebees at a high table with bar stools. I was reaching over to get some gum out of mom's purse when my chair flipped out from under me and my soda fell on top of me and got in my ear. To make things worse, the waiter ran over and shouted "I give that one a 10!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 795

You deserved it 8 570

Today, I was watching some episodes of The Walking Dead with my boyfriend, after recently introducing him to the series. A scene involving Carl came on, and my boyfriend said, "God damn. You ever give me a kid that annoying, I'll shoot both of ya right in the head." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 958

You deserved it 7 474

Today, I went to a corner store to restock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 744

You deserved it 27 164

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 062

You deserved it 76 096

Today, I called my mom while she was out of town and confessed how I have been depressed lately and thinking suicidal thoughts. After my long sob story, she took a breath and said, "OK, just make sure you don't forget to take the dogs out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 814

You deserved it 5 692

Oh yeah?

Same thing different taste

Orders

Acting is hard work

Excuuuuuuse me?

Repetition

So sensual...

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