Health: Ouch

Ouch

By fuckjuggalos - 29/06/2012 23:57 - United States - Eugene

Today, I found out just how easy it is to be launched against the wall and sucker-punched into oblivion by a 200-pound former Marine turned professional body-builder. I discovered this after I told my fiancée's dad that we were expecting a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 136

You deserved it 5 038

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Same thing different taste

Size isn't everything!

By Franklin - 18/12/2017 19:00

Today, I attempted to threaten my daughter's boyfriend to keep him from breaking her heart. I'm a 230-pound former soldier. He's a karate black belt. My family watched me get beat up by a 120-pound teenager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 346

You deserved it 7 940

By theregoesmyspermcount - 02/08/2009 22:45 - United States

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 854

You deserved it 5 704

Fight! Fight! Fight!

By Anonymous - 02/03/2016 17:54 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, some muscle-head showed up at my house and started beating on me. Turned out my son had been posing online as a Navy SEAL, using a picture of me, and had dared this guy to come over and fight him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 679

You deserved it 2 033

Everybody was Kung Fu fighting!

By Anonymous - 23/08/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my Kung Fu-trained father found out that my boyfriend, a Krav Maga student, got me pregnant. Since I'm only 17, my dad got extremely mad. Several broken bones and a few ambulances later, it looks like a Steven Seagal movie happened in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 723

You deserved it 1 024

By randomguy - 09/07/2012 15:09 - United States - Saylorsburg

Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 981

You deserved it 12 167

By BadassNinja - 05/09/2009 16:22 - United States

Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by punching through a piece of old drywall karate kid-style. As it turns out, the drywall was actually a thin piece of concrete. I now have a busted hand and a girlfriend with a new story to tell all her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 801

You deserved it 51 117

Catch!

By Jaxter - 18/03/2009 05:41 - United States

Today, I was walking up to girlfriend's house when her terrifying Marine Corps dad threw a football at me. Not being very athletic, I surprised myself by catching it. He gestured for me throw it back and I watched it spiral wildy to the left and hit my girlfriend's mom in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 126

You deserved it 15 025

By StrandedWhale - 03/11/2013 07:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I got knocked over at the park by a rampant dog. My fiancé stood by laughing his ass off as I repeatedly tried to stand up, only to be knocked back down again. I'm seven months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 833

You deserved it 5 161

Outclassed

By Anonymous - 02/09/2023 16:00

Today, I had a gym date with a girl from Tinder. As soon as I saw her loading up the 45s, I knew I was in trouble. She could squat and leg-press over 100 lbs more than me on both. Somehow she let me come over that night anyway. I challenged her to a wrestling match to try and gain back my pride, then she made me tap out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 1 418

By DJ - 07/04/2013 18:52 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I started training for a charity boxing match. When I got home and walked through the door, my dad punched me in the stomach to test my reaction time. As I lay on the floor trying to catch my breath, he said my reaction time was "terrible". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 620

You deserved it 5 884

newbiehere99 6

Saturday 30 June 2012 6:22

So I guess that's the only baby you'll be expecting?

ThatGenericGuy 6

Saturday 30 June 2012 6:24

What if they're twins?

Comments

greeneye_fml 12

Monday 2 July 2012 7:18

Did he go on to Falcon Punch your fiance in the abdomen?

Stonergurl 4

Monday 2 July 2012 13:16

Why, '**** juggalos?'

auddylynne 0

Tuesday 3 July 2012 5:22

Haha that seriously sucks!

wickedwyatt234 3

Wednesday 4 July 2012 12:54

No such thing as a former marine, once a marine always a marine

I_Am_Hated 2

Saturday 7 July 2012 8:57

Whahahah maybe you should have asked for permission first.

Warmonger_Smurf 29

Tuesday 21 August 2012 2:59

Things that shouldn't go together: Marine, body builder, and fooling around with daughter.

Iniezian 18

Friday 21 September 2012 21:04

That's assault. You both are consenting adults and obviously support yourselves. This guy sounds like a controlling obsessive psycho. Maybe if he spends a couple months in jail, it'll teach him a little lesson. Tell the cops, OP!

sulitak 27

Wednesday 17 July 2013 10:45

yeah, punching someone won't get you months in jail.

InfiniteSunshine 32

Sunday 31 July 2016 7:05

Yes it absolutely will, punching someone is assault, which will get you a jail sentence, sometimes quite a hefty one. What the father did was aggravated assault. This can carry a jail sentence of anywhere from 4 months to 20yrs, along with a $200 to$10,000 dollar fine. Check your facts before spreading false information.

Uniqueview 2

Friday 12 July 2013 23:57

Only thing worse than in-laws - in-laws from the military.

ByeTech 10

Thursday 2 April 2015 16:01

That guy is crazy. He has not right what comes in and out of his daughter's ******. It might be awkward, but you should sue him for assault. He sounds unstable.