Intimacy: Pervy

Pervy

By textraped - 16/03/2009 05:26 - United States

Today, I jokingly had kinky conversation via text message with a good guy friend. He was pretending to be a stranger and was fishing for compliments, and asked to have a foursome. Turns out, my friend lost his phone and I spent 2 hours talking to a pervert about what lingerie I was wearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 408

You deserved it 40 804

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Same thing different taste

Horndogs

By bullah007 - 28/11/2014 18:43 - Pakistan - Lahore

Today, my friend made a fake account on Facebook, pretending to be a girl, and posted my phone number on a sexting group. I've been getting calls and text messages from horny weirdos all day long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 035

You deserved it 4 431

By Username - 27/03/2011 18:09 - United States

Today, my friend stole my phone to call the creepy boy that follows me around at school. I wouldn't have been so bothered if she hadn't had phone sex with him, all while pretending to be me. He got so into it, he now thinks we're a couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 994

You deserved it 6 342

Deep fake

By ohtheshame - 02/05/2011 08:34

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 976

You deserved it 10 760

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 079

You deserved it 51 000

Bad timing

By i'm not psychic, mother fucker - 02/06/2013 20:48 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 676

You deserved it 6 641

By diddlysquat - 14/01/2009 08:49 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 047

You deserved it 53 783

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 03:17 - United States

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 978

You deserved it 7 874

Remote sex

By Anonymous - 05/02/2020 05:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 379

You deserved it 353

By i.ask.you.how. - 12/07/2009 06:05 - United States

Today, a friend of mine told me that he knew I was into kinky sex, "like getting tied up." I just stared at him, spluttering simple question words and wondering how on earth he could possibly know that about me. I then realized that he had been joking. Too late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 895

You deserved it 20 687

Taking it too far

By Hypocrisy - 28/09/2011 22:16 - United States

Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 664

You deserved it 56 815

Jimboom 11

Monday 16 March 2009 16:05

So.... what ARE you wearing?

slutmuffin 0

Monday 16 March 2009 16:14

A sexual conversation with a guy friend?? Rather odd if you ask me.

Comments

motto_fml 0

Monday 16 March 2009 17:26

why would you 'jokingly' have a sexual conversation w/ your guy friend like that? thats your fault

AlyshaDeShae 10

Monday 16 March 2009 17:43

Um, yeah, unless you consistently have sexual conversations with your guy friend (poor thing, by the way) you really should have known something was up and called your friend instead of continuing to text. I feel sorry for you, but you also deserved it. #2 - Ditto. :-)

shadowcalling 0

Monday 16 March 2009 17:47

#9 please don't ever speak for the male population again. you may have a bunch of friends that are girls who you wouldn't mind hooking up with secretly, but were not all like that. my two best friends are girls and i wouldn't ever want to hook up with either of them. and even if i did i would have the "nuts" to tell them

trucanadian 0

Monday 16 March 2009 18:04

Why did you post this on fml? I thought the conversation we hads was fun. It really turned me on.

nomadxx7 0

Monday 16 March 2009 18:07

#14 How about you re-read some of these FML posts. Seems to be a trend. Most of them are "crush on best friend" etc. Just stating the obvious. So you don't fancy your girl friends good for you. I'm stating the other extreme that guy friends would like to get with their girl friends just either been in the friend circle too long or lack the guts to ask them out. I've been on both sides (been friend too long and also asked out a girl I knew forever - didn't end well). If you have an issue with my post because your opinion differs from mine then that's fine. Glad that you don't have nor ever thought of your girl friends in a different light (sexually). So if you want to chastise me for making an obvious pattern trend then you may want to rethink some things. Either you haven't been paying attention on FML or you're an exception to the rule. I know a lot of my guy friends that secretly have crushes on the girl friends in our circle of friends. Sorry that my OPINION of my own life experiences tells me things other than what your OPINION tells you about your life experiences. Now if I need to shut up about the male population since I am a male and have an opinion than you might as well do the same.

j_729 18

Sunday 29 September 2013 23:41

I think he should shut up and stop speaking for the male population. I agree with you.

urbanrendezvous 0

Monday 16 March 2009 18:10

he's not a pervert. he's just a thief. anyone would willingly hop into a steamy conversation with a stranger. why do you think the internet is so popular? www.aurist.wordpress.com