Miscellaneous: Please, think of my family… - FML

Please, think of my family…

By StaplerScared - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I got mugged by a guy who was threatening me with a stapler. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 876

You deserved it 9 133

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Top comments

urdirtyolduncle 15

Tuesday 8 November 2011 19:02

He probably went home and said, "Staples. That was easy."

Lanceeden 12

Tuesday 8 November 2011 19:01

Did he take your cell phone as well?

Comments

GraceKathryn97 0

Tuesday 8 November 2011 23:54

Hahaha what a loser!!

friednoodles 0

Tuesday 8 November 2011 23:57

staplers are some pretty scary shiz

G0t4acked 8

Wednesday 9 November 2011 0:00

Oh Damn! A Stapler! Why the hell didn't you hit him? YDI.

Daralea 21

Wednesday 9 November 2011 0:05

Grrr! This injustice wouldn't happen if Canada had better gun laws.

usmcdvil 4

Wednesday 9 November 2011 0:08

Have you seen my stapler?

nerdsgetmehot 22

Wednesday 9 November 2011 0:30

A stapler?! I'm trying to imagine him attempting to staple you. It would be a very painstaking process in which he would probably have to keep shouting at you to hold still. I would have just gone for the nuts. It's a sucker move, yes, but I'm assuming that it works in situations like that.

ethereana 2

Wednesday 9 November 2011 0:32

really? a stapeler. I'm sure your life flashed before your eyes and the guy was 6'9 and 345 lbs of pure muscle

Blasian13 0

Wednesday 9 November 2011 0:36

Well, it is possible that the stapler was pressed right up against OP's neck or somewhere else painful-Sounding

JukeboxValkyrie 19

Wednesday 9 November 2011 1:03

You should have threatened him with your 3 hole punch.

Okayitwasme 0

Wednesday 9 November 2011 2:11

He was probably on something!

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, and for the last few months, I finally have enough money to be able to move into my own place. I can finally have girls over. I am also at the age of 26, where most girls stop wanting to go over to a guy's house. I wish I was 18 again, when independence is seen as new and sexy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 299

Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID, and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then went on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 998

You deserved it 42 387

The Top

Today, I was flipping through a magazine and saw an ad that had the line "No corn, no wheat, no soy", all of which I'm severely allergic to. I got so excited at the prospect of having a food I could eat, I fell out of my chair. I then realized it was an ad for dog food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 510

You deserved it 5 566

Today, I'm sitting in agonizing pain following a scoliosis surgery. I have a bunch of painkillers that I need to suppress the incredible back pain, but looks like I can't take any, because my mom has hidden them from me because she thinks I need to be taken off them. I wish my doctor was here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 031

You deserved it 2 775

Today, after struggling with anorexia for months, I got food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 128

You deserved it 7 550

Today, my boyfriend told me I was the only girl he'd ever text, call, or flirt with again. Later on he told two other girls exactly the same thing on Facebook, not realizing that everybody can read wall messages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 827

You deserved it 3 744

Today, I heard my boyfriend telling a female friend that his ex was so gorgeous and out of his league that it made him feel inadequate, and so he now only dates within reach. She told him he's hot enough to have anyone he wants. 30 seconds later they were tongue-deep in each other's throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 447

You deserved it 2 036

Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-girlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 617

You deserved it 4 594