Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Policy of truth

Policy of truth

By tellingthetruth - 21/03/2012 16:25 - United Kingdom - Studley

Today, the subject of penis size came up while my boyfriend and I were chatting. He asked if he was big, and I replied that whatever size he was, he was enough to satisfy me. Apparently, that was the wrong answer, and he spent the rest of the night sulking because I didn't say he was enormous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 493

You deserved it 14 249

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By what - 25/09/2013 14:42 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 929

You deserved it 8 832

Child brain

By AnatomyLecture - 22/01/2017 14:00

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that the size of a man's penis is not proportional to his height. He was insecure because he's 5'6" and assumed everyone taller had a bigger penis than him. He's 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 178

You deserved it 697

Communication

By mairelys - 26/01/2010 06:56 - Canada

Today, I tried talking to my boyfriend about our sex life. I was trying to express that I feel like we don't do it enough, but he wasn't very responsive. I ended up saying, "I wish you had a bigger sex drive" to which he answered, "I wish you had bigger boobs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 974

You deserved it 10 186

By Anonymous - 19/06/2014 14:33 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 677

You deserved it 8 434

By Anonymous - 03/02/2013 16:27 - Serbia

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 806

You deserved it 5 456

Inappropriate question

By Anonymous - 07/11/2021 13:59

Today, my new boyfriend asked to know the penis size of every other guy I’ve been with. There are a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 193

You deserved it 905

Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to

By Anonymous - 05/08/2020 20:02

Today, during a deep conversation with my girlfriend of 6 months, I asked her if the guy she had cheated on me once with a few months back had a bigger “tool” than me. She said yes. So I asked, "How much bigger are we talking about?" Her response was "Probably like twice the size." FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 3 196

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 686

You deserved it 60 139

By joolsie - 13/04/2012 13:11 - United Kingdom - York

Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 289

You deserved it 32 047

By Anonymous - 27/04/2013 04:11 - United States

Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 658

You deserved it 15 428

PsychSwirl2012 1

Wednesday 21 March 2012 22:30

What a Dick...

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 21 March 2012 22:34

Your answer was honest, truthful, and kind-hearted. His response was immature and stupid. Not every guy is hung like a stallion, and not every girl WANTS a guy so hung. If he ever asks again, tell him he's just barely adequate. That'll teach him that your first answer was much better.

Comments

MsConfusedd 27

Thursday 22 March 2012 0:46

Doesn't matter had sex.

venomousddog 19

Thursday 22 March 2012 0:48

He shoudln't care, I mean you said it didn't matter, that he satisfies you anyway he should happy, I would be if I had a girlfriend and she said that.

bioman250 10

Thursday 22 March 2012 0:50

You deserve it. How would you feel if you asked your boyfriend if you were fat and he said, "I don't care your the perfect size for me." I don't care about my penis size as much as your boyfriend though sure i wouldn't want to be insulted but sulking all day. Sheesh what a baby

Skylansmile 11

Thursday 22 March 2012 0:59

I hate when men do that...

luststarrr 22

Thursday 22 March 2012 1:00

Rookie error.

vintage3113 6

Thursday 22 March 2012 1:25

I honestly think that's the most perfect thing you could have said. Guys are always curious what their girls think of their meatsticks but if you act like you have to think too hard about it they're going to wonder just how many you have to compare it to. Fyl and maybe you should consider finding someone who is less insecure about his body

kkillaj 5

Thursday 22 March 2012 1:25

That guy sounds immature I dont see any reason to have a big dick it's not the size that matters its how a guy uses it

LouisianaBob 9

Thursday 22 March 2012 1:31

Lies. If they aren't working you aren't using enough.

Jannettecooks 1

Thursday 22 March 2012 1:41

The appropriate answer is "ROOWWLL (or your own growl sound) baby you KNOW I think your penis is perfect. Absolutely deliciously perfect!" that way you never actually answer the question but his ego is satisfied.

Evie_fml 14

Thursday 22 March 2012 1:49

Oh dear, that was never going to end well. One, he sounds unreasonably immature about it. Two, the wording sounds a little like "Not really, no, but I'm not complaining". Personally I make it my policy not to have these conversations or at least not to take it seriously in any way. Any time it comes up (no pun intended) I only give outlandish, exaggerated answers. Oh, that's your penis? Thought it was your leg.