Sex, Painful and Intimacy: Power in Christ

Power in Christ

By Sinnersinner - 21/09/2014 11:27 - United States - Ontario

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 055

You deserved it 7 621

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Same thing different taste

No gods no masters

By Anonymous - 01/03/2024 09:00 - United States - North Royalton

Today, during a intense orgasm I screamed, "You're my God!" at my husband. Afterwards, he told me I was blasphemous and reminded me that God smites those with false prophets. Needless to say, I think I'll just keep my mouth shut in the future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 189

Like a virgin

By JustSomeGuy - 30/07/2013 03:43 - United States - Bulverde

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 109

You deserved it 9 622

The heat of the moment

By righthook - 08/04/2015 19:56 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 889

You deserved it 8 655

Really into it

By Anonymous - 08/11/2023 22:00

Today, I was having sex with my partner and we got very into it. I went to wrap my hand around his neck and somehow accidentally poked my finger in his eye socket so hard he ended up in emergency. He still can’t see properly out of that eye now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 237

By Junkrat - 08/12/2016 13:32

Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral sex when he pulled away without warning. As I looked up at him to see what was wrong, he screamed "JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE!" and shot his load in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 529

You deserved it 3 297

By Anonymous - 07/11/2010 22:00 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 968

You deserved it 6 542

By omgdesdes - 16/11/2014 01:29 - United States - Casselberry

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 733

You deserved it 6 025

By Misc. - 13/03/2009 17:54 - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were just about to have sex and I was so excited to do it just like the movies. He carried me up and just as he was about to lay me on the bed he sneezed, dropping me at the same time. I hit my head. Now I have 12 stitches where my eyebrow used to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 065

You deserved it 8 211

Nosebleed

By bloody good time - 23/11/2019 05:00

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and he slid his hand up near my face too fast and ended up clocking me in the nose. It is the first time that I have ever had nosebleed while orgasming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 198

You deserved it 255

By thanks, fuckface - 16/11/2012 19:42 - United States - Parachute

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 199

You deserved it 4 175

weveallbeenthere 30

Sunday 21 September 2014 20:27

were u screaming Oh God. he heard you and responded.

Enslaved 36

Sunday 21 September 2014 20:29

"I want to **** you like an animal I want to feel you from the inside I want to **** you like an animal My whole existence is flawed You get me closer to GOD"

Comments

doctorhook86 24

Monday 22 September 2014 2:42

Anybody else immediately imagine and judge the "hot guy" as the sort of jersey-shore idiot/douchebag who wears gold chains? It's not rational, but I'm not sorry for judging either.

Axel5238 29

Monday 22 September 2014 5:44

Given that it makes it easier to picture how a cross could cut open someone's eyelid. Kinda wondering at what point the unfunny comments of "doesn't matter had sex" will were themselves out. Anything leading potentially to arrest or in this cause blood loss isn't most people ideas of a good time and I doubt much of a consolation.

Dcm210 19

Monday 22 September 2014 3:20

He should've taken it off.

CraZedMadMan 16

Monday 22 September 2014 3:31

It wasn't god, just happend at a bad time, god doesn't exist

captainsmegma 12

Monday 22 September 2014 3:46

But did you ******?

messymessiah 11

Monday 22 September 2014 4:51

That must have been much more than just intense. Quite an achievement

vikky538 28

Monday 22 September 2014 6:08

well in this case god came first before you two cum......

keiNan_fml 35

Monday 22 September 2014 7:56

holy ****!

the_real_dvd 21

Monday 22 September 2014 8:29

I guess you're the type that gets cross eyed when you're about to ******.

quarterbird 18

Monday 22 September 2014 8:35

WTF? Was the crucifix made of razors. In what possible sexual position does a piece fly off of a chain at such a high velocity that it's able to slice through skin?