Sex, Painful and Intimacy: Power in Christ

Power in Christ

By Sinnersinner - 21/09/2014 11:27 - United States - Ontario

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 050

You deserved it 7 618

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Same thing different taste

No gods no masters

By Anonymous - 01/03/2024 09:00 - United States - North Royalton

Today, during a intense orgasm I screamed, "You're my God!" at my husband. Afterwards, he told me I was blasphemous and reminded me that God smites those with false prophets. Needless to say, I think I'll just keep my mouth shut in the future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 174

Like a virgin

By JustSomeGuy - 30/07/2013 03:43 - United States - Bulverde

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 100

You deserved it 9 621

The heat of the moment

By righthook - 08/04/2015 19:56 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 889

You deserved it 8 654

Really into it

By Anonymous - 08/11/2023 22:00

Today, I was having sex with my partner and we got very into it. I went to wrap my hand around his neck and somehow accidentally poked my finger in his eye socket so hard he ended up in emergency. He still can’t see properly out of that eye now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 227

By Junkrat - 08/12/2016 13:32

Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral sex when he pulled away without warning. As I looked up at him to see what was wrong, he screamed "JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE!" and shot his load in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 518

You deserved it 3 293

By Anonymous - 07/11/2010 22:00 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 960

You deserved it 6 539

By omgdesdes - 16/11/2014 01:29 - United States - Casselberry

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 717

You deserved it 6 020

By Misc. - 13/03/2009 17:54 - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were just about to have sex and I was so excited to do it just like the movies. He carried me up and just as he was about to lay me on the bed he sneezed, dropping me at the same time. I hit my head. Now I have 12 stitches where my eyebrow used to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 059

You deserved it 8 207

Nosebleed

By bloody good time - 23/11/2019 05:00

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and he slid his hand up near my face too fast and ended up clocking me in the nose. It is the first time that I have ever had nosebleed while orgasming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 195

You deserved it 253

By thanks, fuckface - 16/11/2012 19:42 - United States - Parachute

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 188

You deserved it 4 172

weveallbeenthere 30

Sunday 21 September 2014 20:27

were u screaming Oh God. he heard you and responded.

Enslaved 36

Sunday 21 September 2014 20:29

"I want to **** you like an animal I want to feel you from the inside I want to **** you like an animal My whole existence is flawed You get me closer to GOD"

Comments

tantanpanda 26

Monday 22 September 2014 14:19

What would jesus do? oh, nothing, just slice your eyelid open because you're having sex.

dragonmonkey 9

Monday 22 September 2014 16:39

This may be my favorite FML ever.

Mortoli 30

Monday 22 September 2014 17:07

The greatest **** block in the universe. Lol.

chrisstachon 30

Monday 22 September 2014 21:15

How? What? LMFAO

ClearSkyGuy 6

Tuesday 23 September 2014 8:45

That's what you get.

bishop2563 8

Wednesday 24 September 2014 7:06

im just honestly curious what position you were in when this happened so i can avoid this scenario myself OP. thats a terrible dam thing to happen to you.... please tell us. i cant be the only person terrified of this happening...

bahamit 18

Wednesday 24 September 2014 16:26

Murphy's law at it's finest, anything that can go wrong, will. Sorry bout your luck op, fyl indeed, dust off and try again tomorrow, hell do some roll playing, pirates of the Caribbean style, you know, eyepatch and all lol