Health and Happy New Year: Probably

Probably

By nexus - 01/01/2022 16:59 - Papua New Guinea

Today, did anyone else spent the last moments of 2021 shitting their brains out on a toilet? FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 200

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By TuteBananaCupcake - 29/12/2023 14:00 - United States - Dayton

Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 571

By Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 447

You deserved it 11 656

By cauteriseme - 01/01/2011 15:37 - United Kingdom

Today, as the clock struck twelve for the new year, I was in the bathroom having a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 463

You deserved it 4 152

By Tanner - 07/04/2012 02:26 - United States - Salem

Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 562

You deserved it 10 734

Drugs are bad, mkay ?

By theshitguy - 15/06/2021 08:01 - Australia - Kedron

Today, I was at a party. A friend and I went to the bathroom together. She finished, I started to go, realising I need to shit. She was still in the room. People began to knock. My brain told me to snap the shit in half… with my hand. I grabbed the toilet paper with said hand, leaving the bathroom covered in shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 1 186

Can't hold it in anymore

By Anonymous - 28/05/2022 04:00 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, both toilets in my house were occupied, so I had to shit outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 183

Drained

By Anonymous - 01/08/2020 23:01

Today, after following the directions and drinking a gallon of what can only be described as an industrial strength laxative for a scheduled colonoscopy. I shit my brains out for nearly 12 hours. The hospital then called and canceled my procedure an hour before my arrival time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 147

You deserved it 110

Humpty Dumpy

By traumatized - 12/04/2014 18:07 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 449

You deserved it 9 409

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 05:26

Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 436

You deserved it 4 697

By BrownDump - 14/05/2011 10:43 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 326

You deserved it 14 193

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Sunday 2 January 2022 1:52

At least you didn’t have to bring that shit into the new year with you.

queenmb27 2

Saturday 1 January 2022 8:04

no but im facing the same situation after the ball dropped 🙄😑😔

Comments

randybryant799 20

Saturday 1 January 2022 8:00

Most of the day!

queenmb27 2

Saturday 1 January 2022 8:04

no but im facing the same situation after the ball dropped 🙄😑😔

mike3775 35

Saturday 1 January 2022 12:30

No but I did at 1am.

poeserpursche 11

Saturday 1 January 2022 14:33

The whole damn day and night. Also constantly puking...

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Sunday 2 January 2022 1:52

At least you didn’t have to bring that shit into the new year with you.

Aurora25 29

Sunday 2 January 2022 2:24

spend*

Caitlin Elizabeth Tanner 13

Sunday 2 January 2022 23:47

Good! You’re supposed to leave that shit behind in 2021

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I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 23

It's great to see you ! How was july ? Hot, sweaty, flirty ? How I miseed talking to you (and getting one or two comments if we're lucky enough). But let's not complain, a whole month welcoming artists for their second rounds who gave us brand new il...

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Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 074

You deserved it 37 195

Today, I went to pick up my wedding dress from the seamstress, only to find out that my fiancé called two weeks ago to say I wanted the dress "tie-dyed to match our new theme." She believed him. Our wedding is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 939

You deserved it 232

Today, I woke up to the smell of cooking bacon. As I walked down my stairs towards my kitchen, I realised that the smell wasn't coming from bacon, but from my kitchen being on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 976

You deserved it 134

Today, my credit card got declined while I was buying anti-depressants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 215

You deserved it 341

Today, I found out that when you kick another man in the snowglobes and he smiles at you, there's something creepily wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 317

You deserved it 7 529

Today, at my boyfriend's house, I met his mother for the first time. And promptly fell in their pond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 080

You deserved it 4 167