Awkward and Work: Prospects - FML

Prospects

By mike - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was digging in the backyard when my mom came out, nodded her head approvingly, and with a straight face told me it was good practice for when I inevitably go to prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 716

You deserved it 4 623

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Top comments

HomeAl0ne 20

Monday 5 September 2011 0:06

And even better practice for when you try to escape from one?

perdix 29

Monday 5 September 2011 0:10

Tell her you plan to bury your victims well enough that they'll never be found, and you won't go to prison. Ask her to lay down in your hole to see if she fits.

Comments

PinkFun1969 9

Wednesday 7 September 2011 8:00

oouch

theroustons 6

Friday 21 October 2011 7:26

Wow.... She sounds like a bitch..

Haha_no_123 11

Sunday 12 February 2012 21:26

So your a bad boy OP ;)

fantasyworld 37

Sunday 23 November 2014 4:24

What were you digging holes for?

jadelagrue 14

Thursday 2 July 2015 22:37

clown

mccuish 25

Tuesday 11 October 2022 7:00

Good practice for escaping the prison

Keywords

Thanksgiving Politics Holidays Miscellaneous Family Transportation AITA Cars Am I overreacting? Contraception Love Cheating Suspicious Pregnancy Scary Christmas Sex Awkward Weddings Singing Embarrassing My ex Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Relatable Mental health Therapy Argument

The Top

Today, my laptop was slow so I used my husband’s laptop. I went to the bedroom and found it opened, so I moved the trackpad and it powered on. The first thing I see is a page with redhead porn, and another tab with nude redheads. You know who else is a redhead? The new girl at his job he tells me not to worry about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 133

Today, after a broken smoke detector in my home caused the fire department to come, I got an angry visit from my neighbor who was upset because she had parked in front of a fire hydrant and got a ticket. She demands that I pay it, "or else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 748

You deserved it 2 452

The Top

Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 568

You deserved it 9 951

Today I returned home after a semester at university. I guess I did too good a job of getting into shape as my parents phoned the police, thinking I was a burglar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 000

You deserved it 3 837

Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 275

You deserved it 69 591

Today, after agreeing to marry my boyfriend, he started spouting crap about converting to his religion, and how I’d need to take lessons from his mother on how to be a proper wife to him at all times, like, EXCUSE ME, WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE TALKING TO? DUMPED. See ya later, douchebag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 642

You deserved it 446

Today, I ended a 15-year relationship. Don't worry, it wasn't mine. It was my parents'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 447

You deserved it 589

Today, I came to school really sick because I had to take an important exam. After I finally finished, I accidentally sneezed on my answer sheet right before turning it in. The teacher refused to take it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 609

You deserved it 4 507