Awkward and Work: Prospects - FML

Prospects

By mike - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was digging in the backyard when my mom came out, nodded her head approvingly, and with a straight face told me it was good practice for when I inevitably go to prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 716

You deserved it 4 623

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Top comments

HomeAl0ne 20

Monday 5 September 2011 0:06

And even better practice for when you try to escape from one?

perdix 29

Monday 5 September 2011 0:10

Tell her you plan to bury your victims well enough that they'll never be found, and you won't go to prison. Ask her to lay down in your hole to see if she fits.

Comments

PinkFun1969 9

Wednesday 7 September 2011 8:00

oouch

theroustons 6

Friday 21 October 2011 7:26

Wow.... She sounds like a bitch..

Haha_no_123 11

Sunday 12 February 2012 21:26

So your a bad boy OP ;)

fantasyworld 37

Sunday 23 November 2014 4:24

What were you digging holes for?

jadelagrue 14

Thursday 2 July 2015 22:37

clown

mccuish 25

Tuesday 11 October 2022 7:00

Good practice for escaping the prison

Keywords

Shopping Miscellaneous Health Medication Birds Animals Anger issues Weddings Embarrassing TikTok YouTube Pranks Cute Dogs Parents AITA Work Awkward Intimacy Sex Frustration Mental health Relatable Technology Annoying Transportation Poopoo peepee Love Am I overreacting? Lonely

The Top

Today, my 16-year-old son convinced my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to use the ladies bathroom at the shopping centre, because she wasn't wearing a dress like the girl on the sign. He told her girls in pants always used the other one. She believed him. This is my legacy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 069

You deserved it 6 947

Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 250

You deserved it 4 328

The Top

Today, I stumbled across "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" on TV and realized that these awful freaks are going to make more money than I ever will. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 297

You deserved it 3 154

Today, my favourite vibrator got a good thrashing. Unfortunately, it was by my cat, who tore it to shreds. I guess she disapproves of my choice of leisure activities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 474

You deserved it 749

Today, I was brutally dumped over webcam, by my boyfriend, who was taking a dump with the laptop on his lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 948

You deserved it 2 889

Today, my girlfriend of over a year told me the reason we've only been intimate once in the past 8 months is because she thinks she might be asexual. I love her, but I miss the intimacy we had when we first started dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 123

You deserved it 229

Today, I was fired from my babysitting job because the baby’s first word was my name. Well, I’m sorry, but if you ask me to look after your child 14 hours a day, 6 days a week, and by the time you pick them up they’re already asleep, of course they’re going to know my name better than yours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 175

You deserved it 188

Today, I was volunteering at a local hospital. I was eagerly introducing myself to all the nurses, as I would be working with them all summer. It wasn't until I got home that I discovered the giant piece of lettuce stuck in my front teeth. So much for first impressions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 594

You deserved it 1 960