Love, Kids, Pranks and Parents: Protective

Protective

By Anonymous - 26/12/2012 18:30 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 927

You deserved it 5 410

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Same thing different taste

By sierraisfucked - 02/06/2009 07:55 - United States

Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 493

You deserved it 4 199

By MC - 15/08/2011 02:51 - Canada

Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 521

You deserved it 39 617

What the…?

By Anonymous - 05/02/2024 05:00

Today, my dad showed up at my house and offered to take me to my favorite restaurant. He drove me to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. He believes I only had my daughter, who I love with all my heart, because I drunkenly hooked up with a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 557

You deserved it 130

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 04:17 - United States

Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 523

You deserved it 2 993

By blah - 21/07/2011 14:10 - United States

Today, my mom took me to an AA meeting because she said I needed help. I have never tried alcohol in my life, and told them this. I was then harangued by the "instructor" because apparently one of the signs of alcoholism is denial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 711

You deserved it 3 068

Denial

By Anonymous - 04/03/2014 04:12 - United States - Woodland

Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 174

You deserved it 3 218

By Anonymous - 18/09/2010 14:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting picked up by my dad after I had been swimming. I saw his car, so I walked over to it, got in and started talking about how I'd seen my brother. It wasn't until after I had put my seat belt on that I realized I was talking to a complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 426

You deserved it 29 404

By geeb - 23/02/2010 18:33 - United States

Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 594

You deserved it 36 516

By KayKay - 23/09/2016 06:33 - United States - Ware

Today, my brother called me up. He said he needed to talk to me. Whenever someone says that, I naturally I get nervous. He said, "I gave one of my friends your number." I was shocked and asked why. "Your life makes me sad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 405

You deserved it 1 377

By Anonymous - 23/11/2016 16:58

Today, I bumped into my English teacher at an AA meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 477

You deserved it 1 029

redhedsaysrawr 18

Thursday 27 December 2012 0:10

Troll mom is winning

Harpy20 24

Thursday 27 December 2012 0:10

Twat swat level: EXPERT.

Comments

bridgetv25 8

Thursday 27 December 2012 20:39

Wtg mom!!!

StEpHiE1226 12

Thursday 27 December 2012 20:44

Your mom sounds awesome op lol

leadwithlove 1

Thursday 27 December 2012 21:50

Twat swatter

leadwithlove 1

Thursday 27 December 2012 21:50

Twat swatter

Sakaea 22

Friday 28 December 2012 0:15

I'm really hoping your mom had a reason for doing that other than being a bitch.

sugoine 12

Friday 28 December 2012 2:18

That is DAMN funny!!!!

Homer1975 14

Friday 28 December 2012 9:51

You have a nice mom

aj9090 9

Friday 28 December 2012 10:09

blocker!

SlickRick12002 7

Friday 28 December 2012 13:25

Your mother is a **** blocking master sorry o.p.

dlas 5

Friday 28 December 2012 20:02

Too bad for you, but hey thats the funniest move I ever heard hahahahaha sorry.....

Keywords

Awkward Love Embarrassing Alcohol Vegan Health Singing Work Annoying Sports Miscellaneous Accident Healthy Lifestyle Sex Intimacy Kids Gifts Money Addiction Sexism Coworkers Racism Bodyshaming Parenting Poopoo peepee Cute Weddings AITA Erratas Ironic

The Top

Today, my husband got drunk, which was bad enough, but then he got me to the point where I wanted sex too, so I let him climb aboard. He was inside me for 3 thrusts and then stopped. He’d fallen asleep, so I pushed him off me, mad as hell, then he farted and shit a little bit. I married this twat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 983

You deserved it 801

Today, I had to explain to my mother that a lace mini-dress with an obscene amount of cleavage was not appropriate to wear while meeting my boyfriend's parents. She called me an "annoying prude" and said that with my attitude, I don't deserve to have a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 329

You deserved it 4 941

The Top

Today, my boyfriend called me and I told him about the AnimeCon I'm attending, and that I wanted to go as Sailor Mars, he told me he had no idea what that was. After being mad for about ten minutes, I realized that I wanted to break up with him over not knowing what Sailor Moon was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 010

You deserved it 84 530

Today, I had to give back the Christmas present to who I thought was my best friend. He asked me to be his girlfriend and I declined. Apparently, because I don’t feel the same way he does, I don’t deserve it. I was under the impression that he’d given me this present to be a friend, not to get in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 190

Today, at work, my manager accidentally bumped into me, brushing my behind with the back of his hand. He was a bit embarrassed, so I jokingly said, “You could at least buy me dinner first!” He went to HR and told them I made him uncomfortable. I was just trying to lighten the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 917

You deserved it 371

Today, my religious parents were hosting a family dinner. Not only did we have to wait over an hour for my grandma to finally show up, but when she did, she had her 30 year old boytoy in tow. Apparently, "Granny has needs too you know, hahaha!" Goodbye peaceful family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 325

You deserved it 3 271

Today, I arrived to work at exactly 8 so I could leave at exactly 5, without overtime. I found out later that my brother took my keys with him somewhere and now I can't enter the house until he gets back at 11. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 120

You deserved it 900

Today, my dog ate an entire bag of my boyfriend’s shrooms. She got incredibly sick and had to be admitted to doggie hospital. My entire family was worried that we would lose her. All except my boyfriend, who was more upset that his shrooms were gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 316

Protective

Same thing different taste

What the…?

Denial

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