Dogs and Love: Protips

Protips

By notagoodsign - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, while watching Animal Planet, I realised my boyfriend uses the Dog Whisperer techniques on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 124

You deserved it 9 519

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Top comments

illmatic2 16

Monday 28 February 2011 16:08

That's what happens when you're a bitch.

DocBastard 38

Monday 28 February 2011 16:28

OP: I love you! Boyfriend: *scratches OP's ears* Such a good girl! OP: What the **** are you doing? Boyfriend: *hits OP's nose with newspaper* Bad girl! Bad girl! OP: Ooh yes, tell me I'm a bad girl!

Comments

whoisthisgirl 4

Monday 28 February 2011 21:35

I've never seen the dog whisperer on animal planet.. only on national geographics

VirgoCrazy 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 1:02

theres no diff dumbass

amrik 11

Monday 28 February 2011 21:35

it's national geographic genius

MyLifeIsGreat_ha 0

Monday 28 February 2011 21:47

**** THAT! I just hit my bitches in the head wit a rolled up Newspaper

Zombie65 0

Monday 28 February 2011 21:55

LMFAO and it must work or you wouldn't be posting on here

Zombie65 0

Monday 28 February 2011 21:56

LMFAO and it must work too or you wouldn't be posting on here

erick0619 0

Monday 28 February 2011 22:06

I lolled :D

DoorMatCat 3

Monday 28 February 2011 22:18

Dog Whisperer is on National Geographic. not Animal Planet.

IStoleTheCookies 16

Monday 28 February 2011 23:48

#43 you suck

Hanimon 0

Tuesday 1 March 2011 0:30

OP is not a pac leader.

xGraycloud 4

Tuesday 1 March 2011 0:41

...does it work?

Keywords

Surprise Love Cute Texting My ex Awkward Wanker Intimacy Sex Health Insomnia Sleep Mental health Cooking Food Weekend Parents Kids Miscellaneous Pranks Annoying Embarrassing Work Technology Coworkers Zoom Roommate Argument Pizza Animals

The Top

Today, my mom and dad went off somewhere for some alone time together. My mom had apparently turned her phone off and my dad left his at home. In that span of time, my brother had accidentally locked himself out of his house, and my sister was also trying to get a hold of them, and now are asking me where they're at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 655

You deserved it 158

Today, my girlfriend got super paranoid when I received flowers, along with a card saying what a "lovely time" the sender had last weekend. My girlfriend decided this was proof I'd cheated on her. The card was signed "Vanessa," which is also her mother's name. Who stayed with us last weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 149

You deserved it 492

The Top

Today, my ex-girlfriend called me say she needed her car repaired. I fixed it as fast as I could so she could get back on her way, only to find out she’s on her way to my friend's place to have her guts rearranged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 714

Today, my boss said he's worried about our network, becausen "WiFi's all in the air. People could spy on us from anywhere!" I sarcastically said, "My god, you're right!" and suggested switching to tin-foil ethernet cables to stop the signal escaping. He told me to do it ASAP. This moron makes five times my salary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 919

You deserved it 4 219

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 809

You deserved it 5 479

Today, I learned that my stalker is still trying to weasel their way into my life even after they doxxed me, cyberstalked me, harassed me, threatened me, and attempted blackmail on me. All this just because I told them that their boyfriend groomed me when I was a minor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 95

Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 864

You deserved it 2 666

Today, while at work, I felt what I thought was a ball of lint on the back of my neck. I reached back and grabbed it only to end up holding the biggest wolf spider I've ever seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 071

You deserved it 232