Cars and Health: Quick Stop

Quick Stop

By poopy pants - 08/04/2013 01:47 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 376

You deserved it 8 736

The rhythm of the fight
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Same thing different taste

By sadddddd - 11/09/2011 01:54 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 884

You deserved it 3 270

No exit! No choice!

By Anonymous - 13/11/2019 03:00

Today, I was driving my car when I suddenly got diarrhea and shat my pants. I put a plastic bag under me to not let all the shit go through my pants and get to my seat. Then one of my workmates saw my car and came to say hello. She saw all the shit and the plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 253

You deserved it 301

By Username - 27/01/2011 17:40 - Romania

Today, I was running late for school because I had a huge stomach ache. To save on time, I took a taxi. When the taxi driver hit a bump, I lost control of my bowels and shit myself. Not only do I have to wash my underwear in the sink at school now, but I had to pay the driver extra to remove the smell from his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 124

You deserved it 5 708

Fools rush in

By Anonymous - 15/11/2022 10:00 - United States - Utica

Today, after a shopping trip, I had the worst diarrhea attack and almost shat my pants before I could even get in the front door. By the time I could get the door open, it was taking all of my self-control to keep from shitting myself. I had to shit on the toilet with the front door and bathroom door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 174

By Redhairchick - 06/11/2016 07:08

Today, I got severe diarrhea while out dancing with friends. On my way home, I got hit with the urge again. I couldn't find an open toilet and I had to resort to relieving myself in an alley. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 066

You deserved it 933

By Anonymous - 21/06/2012 17:43 - Canada - Toronto

Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 817

You deserved it 3 071

Caught short

By Anonymous - 13/11/2014 18:01 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was speeding home, bursting to take a crap. I pulled into my driveway and made it inside, before my wife told me the plumber was still working on our pipes. I ended up having to take a crap in my own backyard, behind a tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 954

You deserved it 3 396

Bladder control

By Anonymous - 27/08/2023 14:00

Today, while driving my son and his friend home, I was so frantic to pee, I was bouncing up and down in my seat. I stopped and ran into a store but it was too late. There was a line and I made it 11 seconds. I was radiating heat from the humiliation of walking past dozens of people after peeing my pants. I even apologized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 158

By heyhijello - 09/09/2013 22:05 - United States - Oakland

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 077

You deserved it 12 727

Not now!

By Anonymous - 19/07/2019 00:01

Today, after 4 days without being able to poop, now, while sitting stuck in traffic, I have the sudden urge to use the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 790

You deserved it 155

TheJester12 15

Monday 8 April 2013 9:54

I keep re reading this fml and don't understand why I can't find the words " Taco and Bell" anywhere within it.

Pwib 14

Monday 8 April 2013 9:53

If you gotta go...better the side of the road than on your interior, right?

Comments

artyler 3

Tuesday 9 April 2013 0:46

Virturally everyone on the planet would agree that was an emergency. A cop passing by, however.....

qr_fml 21

Tuesday 9 April 2013 0:59

That's pretty disgusting. Potty training time again for you?

dead_insects 18

Tuesday 9 April 2013 3:34

when you gotta go, you gotta go. at least you made it outside your car and had enough presence of mind to try to be sly about it... could have been much worse!!

ZacZ 8

Tuesday 9 April 2013 4:24

Hope you turned into Dr. Quickshits. Wouldn't want vehicles watching me shit!

supmrmunchies 4

Tuesday 9 April 2013 5:13

Atleast you didn't shit your pants.

DAN_THA_GR8 12

Tuesday 9 April 2013 5:17

Some things are better left unsaid

doodieman 9

Tuesday 9 April 2013 5:44

Did you have a bag to pick up after yourself?

Jharrist89 12

Tuesday 9 April 2013 8:56

Haha! You're the ******* man!

BrimfullOfAsher 20

Tuesday 9 April 2013 16:42

In days of old when knights were bold, And toilets were not yet invented, You laid load load in the middle of the road, And you walked away contented.