Cheating and Love: Quick thinking

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Quick thinking

By Anonymous - 16/10/2012 00:04 - United States - Mount Jackson

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and best friend making out. His explanation was that he was trying to stop her from having an allergic reaction to peanut butter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 465

You deserved it 2 013

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Same thing different taste

By leeceetaylor99 - 15/07/2013 16:47 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 888

You deserved it 3 897

By rhunter17 - 06/04/2015 19:38

Today, I forgot my boyfriend was allergic to nuts and ate Nutella toast before he arrived. He had just brought me flowers for doing well in an exam and I kissed him. He had a reaction and I had to stab him in the leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 852

You deserved it 10 590

By TheThirdWheel - 23/04/2018 05:00

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 2 years and my best friend of 10 years making out in my bedroom. I stared and when they noticed me, my boyfriend didn’t even bat an eye and suggested we have a threesome. My best friend immediately agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 405

You deserved it 687

By djshahso - 26/02/2010 00:14 - United States

Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 670

You deserved it 47 028

Call the cops!

By epipen life - 10/03/2019 16:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 626

You deserved it 237

By Allergic - 24/01/2012 17:31 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife purposely eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to get out of kissing me. I'm deathly allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 370

You deserved it 3 460

By goo - 10/02/2017 18:00 - United States - Louisville

Today, while having fun between the sheets with my boyfriend, his allergies got the best of him and his nose started running. Every time he kissed me he'd drip snot onto my face. When I complained, he said I was being insensitive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 679

You deserved it 1 130

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By Anonymous - 18/09/2019 00:01 - United States

Today, I had to go to the ER because of a terrible allergic reaction I had to the cookies my "friend" made for me. She assured me several times that there were no nuts in them. Turns out, she put nuts in them on purpose, to see whether or not I was really allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 667

You deserved it 131

By Kelly - 27/12/2009 04:44 - United States

Today, I gave my boyfriend a box of chocolates as a present. A few hours later, he texted me saying that the box of chocolates contained nuts. He's allergic to nuts and his mother now thinks I'm trying to kill him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 642

You deserved it 11 831

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 980

You deserved it 3 990

dathan 14

Tuesday 16 October 2012 9:14

You're such a bitch. You don't even trust your boyfriend when he's tying to save your best friend's life. No srsly that sucks.

jamza 10

Tuesday 16 October 2012 9:17

Sneeze... Then tell him your allergic to bullshit

Comments

Kagrish 9

Wednesday 17 October 2012 10:54

Seems legit.

Sneekys 2

Thursday 18 October 2012 4:55

Today, my girlfriend bitched me out because i saved her best friend's life. FML

StephenStills 6

Sunday 21 October 2012 11:56

You sure know how to pick a winner. :)

FATTY_MCDOOGLE 29

Monday 22 October 2012 22:00

Seems legit.

Sanakhana 1

Friday 2 November 2012 8:04

do you think this true?

Morgiepoooh9822 17

Tuesday 19 March 2013 3:10

I would throw a jar of peanut butter at his head.

ODST_Panda 12

Saturday 27 September 2014 23:25

My home remedy for bullshit is a kick to the taint.

bliadddrwg42 4

Wednesday 17 January 2018 2:03

as a medical professional, I can tell you, that's not how you stop an allergic reaction, to peanut butter or otherwise.

123Puppy 33

Monday 4 May 2020 14:23

I hope you dumped them both.

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The Top

Today, my mum suggested that I should take self-defence lessons just in case I ever get attacked. Jokingly, I said, "As long as I walk under street lamps, no one's going to touch me." She replied, "Well, you never know, they might mistake you for someone good looking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 722

You deserved it 4 999

Today, I found out why I’ve been covering most of the bills and the rent. Turns out my boyfriend is paying a very expensive OnlyFans subscription for his female bestie. When I confronted him about it, he responded by yelling, “It’s not like that!” and punched our glass patio door, shattering it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 653

You deserved it 253

The Top

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 991

You deserved it 7 877

Today, I saw my mom's Facebook profile picture for the first time. It had all of my family members in it. I was cropped out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 323

You deserved it 252

Today, my coworkers decided to play a game of "Who Can Piss the Boss Off the Most". I opted not to play, but I still won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 671

You deserved it 5 731

Today, I had my teacher look over my essay before turning it in. He said it was extremely well-written, so I handed it in. When I got it back, the feedback he left said it was one of the worst essays he'd ever read. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 122

You deserved it 4 619

Today, my grade school son's teacher came over for a conference. When she sat on our one seater sofa, the upholstery broke, causing her to sink deeper back. My son desperately tried to pull her up and out, while saying to her, "Teacher, NO!!! You have to have a butt as big as my mom's to safely sit in THAT chair!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 154

Today, my mom and I got into a fight about a topic we agreed on. Seems like we're destined to never get along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 566

You deserved it 324

Quick thinking

Same thing different taste

Call the cops!

Criminal Minds

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