Mental health and Health: Quote of the day

Quote of the day

By lol - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was making breakfast. My microwave door was already open, but I couldn't figure that out so I kept pressing the button. According to Einstein, I'm now insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 206

You deserved it 30 849

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Top comments

rocker_chick105 31

Wednesday 25 January 2012 18:49

according to us, you are too

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Wednesday 25 January 2012 18:51

Insane? No. Total ****** idiot? Yes.

Comments

iameulogy 0

Wednesday 25 January 2012 23:12

id10t user error lolol

ranamile 0

Wednesday 25 January 2012 23:28

Don't worry it took me 3 people to convince me that was the reason it wasn't turning on. It's happened 4 times

SheepShoop_fml 20

Wednesday 25 January 2012 23:29

I know a lot of people who act similarly before they get their morning coffee.

fmlmaymay 0

Wednesday 25 January 2012 23:39

No just mentally incapable to survive

knockout5993 0

Wednesday 25 January 2012 23:41

If you are talking to Einstein, you probably insane.

twilightluvr101 4

Wednesday 25 January 2012 23:46

U TALKED TO EINSTEIN!!! NO ******* WAY!

Jemibub 4

Wednesday 25 January 2012 23:51

And you're from ALBERTa

jad07 0

Thursday 26 January 2012 0:01

I don't think insane best describes you...I was thinking more around the line like (fill in the blank here)____________

jnick020804 2

Thursday 26 January 2012 0:03

If you study quantum physics then it makes sense not only was your microwave open it was also on the other side of the universe at the same time

ALesserIvy 2

Thursday 26 January 2012 0:06

Is Einstein the name of your cat?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was feeling a little frisky and started making out with my husband on our couch. He had just taken off my shirt when a strange smell hit my nose. I turned my head and saw my alcoholic neighbor with a cigarette in his hand, watching the entire thing unfold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 141

You deserved it 894

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a quickie in the car. We had left a window open so it wasn't too hot, and I was holding onto the edge of the window, fingers hanging over. In the midst of it all, my boyfriend managed to close the window by hitting the button. My finger is broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 169

You deserved it 12 517

The Top

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year-olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 055

You deserved it 4 843

Today, after spending about 5 years to go back to school, get my life together and get a real job, I now make about $100 less a month. I used to work as a dishwasher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 482

You deserved it 2 983

Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 307

You deserved it 59 081

Today, I caught a lady attempting to steal a watermelon by putting it in her shirt. When I confronted her, she claimed to be pregnant and threatened to sue me and the store for discriminating against mothers. Nice try, but the watermelon fell out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 738

You deserved it 257

Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 072

You deserved it 3 221

Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 334

You deserved it 26 876