Mental health and Health: Quote of the day

Quote of the day

By lol - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was making breakfast. My microwave door was already open, but I couldn't figure that out so I kept pressing the button. According to Einstein, I'm now insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 207

You deserved it 30 849

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Top comments

rocker_chick105 31

Wednesday 25 January 2012 18:49

according to us, you are too

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Wednesday 25 January 2012 18:51

Insane? No. Total ****** idiot? Yes.

Comments

ilovevegas106 2

Thursday 26 January 2012 2:08

That always happens to me lol!

3000dream 3

Thursday 26 January 2012 3:17

I had to read that a couple times.

vinathi 9

Thursday 26 January 2012 4:30

@ #156 Oh my god! Me too haha :)

fergie0815 2

Thursday 26 January 2012 3:49

That's a pretty stupid FML.

Travis95_fml 8

Thursday 26 January 2012 4:22

Put a metal plate in next time since you are already insane.

dailiedally97 0

Thursday 26 January 2012 4:26

The definition of insanity is repeatedly doing the same thing, over and over, expecting a different outcome each time. Well done.

jnick020804 2

Thursday 26 January 2012 6:10

If you study quantum physics then it makes sense not only was your microwave open it was also on the other side of the universe at the same time

DaniBella27 3

Thursday 26 January 2012 7:05

Wow.. This really sounds like something that would happen to me. Lol.

Track1991 0

Thursday 26 January 2012 7:34

Love the human brain and it's mysteries.

Brian_Wright 0

Thursday 26 January 2012 7:42

Use the stove.

ifeelya 5

Thursday 26 January 2012 8:21

well, good morning, sleepyhead!

Keywords

Animals Cats Poopoo peepee Gross Smells Love Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Health Painful First Dates Christmas Work Social Media Music Grieving Anniversary Boredom Abuse Ironic Intimacy Drunk Am I overreacting? Transportation AITA Alcohol Parents Gun control Kids

The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 519

You deserved it 15 070

Today, I was having dinner at a restaurant with my best friend and her 18-month-old. I really had to fart, so I let one go silently, hoping it would go unnoticed. I caught a whiff of it, but so did my friend apparently, because she made a face and then held up her baby to smell her diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 542

You deserved it 1 376

The Top

Today, I took my sister and her friend to the new swimming pool in our area. They wanted to go down one of the slides, so I went up with them. At the top of the stairs, my sister's friend kicked me in the balls and then pulled my trunks off. They pushed me down the slide naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 187

You deserved it 140

Today, I deleted my account on social media and changed my name, all because I posted something hilariously inappropriate, and everybody laughed except one lady. My followers savagely jumped to my defense against this "one lady". I had to tell people to stop roasting my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 354

Today, I witnessed my girlfriend eat the dead skin from the soles of her feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 360

You deserved it 7 725

Today, I called my doctor from my office. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed, "I definitely prefer oral." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 196

You deserved it 3 770

Today, I was at the gym, when a pretty overweight guy started staring and eventually taunting me. Let me tell you, lines such as "Lay off the cake, fatty!" and "I can see your gut hanging out your ass, for fuck's sake!" don't exactly boost one's self-confidence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 608

You deserved it 2 771

Today, there was a big cake at the office. I thought it was funny to pretend to push the cute girl in the office into it. She laughed, but then lost her balance and fell forward. Everyone saw. Turns out she’s allergic to coconut, even just the shavings on a cake, and had to go to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 753

You deserved it 44 687