Mental health and Health: Quote of the day - FML

Quote of the day

By lol - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was making breakfast. My microwave door was already open, but I couldn't figure that out so I kept pressing the button. According to Einstein, I'm now insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 207

You deserved it 30 849

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

rocker_chick105 31

Wednesday 25 January 2012 18:49

according to us, you are too

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Wednesday 25 January 2012 18:51

Insane? No. Total ****** idiot? Yes.

Comments

ICATiger 13

Wednesday 25 January 2012 20:40

+69

flockz 19

Wednesday 25 January 2012 20:41

+my sister's virginity.

Zora55 2

Wednesday 25 January 2012 20:42

"insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over again, and expecting the result to be different" Einstein

ronski 41

Wednesday 25 January 2012 20:42

YDI OP

medichick 5

Wednesday 25 January 2012 21:02

Stupid. People keep writing the stupidest fmls lately

eminemop 0

Wednesday 25 January 2012 21:04

+3 puppies

ICATiger 13

Wednesday 25 January 2012 21:08

+... **** this shit. I want to be a narwal!!

StreetReaper 9

Wednesday 25 January 2012 21:10

And to realize that you were the fastest swimmer.

loserman67 35

Wednesday 25 January 2012 21:14

Not just according to Einstein, but the world at large.... You're one of those people that stands at the elevator pressing the button into oblivion thinking it will make the car arrive faster I bet....

Internut 6

Wednesday 25 January 2012 21:45

Oh shit, it doesn't?

hhmmllcc 0

Wednesday 25 January 2012 21:35

ya dumb ****

2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11

Keywords

Gross Poopoo peepee Cats Animals Awkward Smells Love Miscellaneous Embarrassing Health Painful First Dates Work Christmas Grieving Social Media Music Anniversary Boredom Intimacy Abuse Ironic AITA Alcohol Am I overreacting? Transportation Drunk Kids Parents Gun control

The Top

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 332

You deserved it 6 125

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 595

You deserved it 3 438

The Top

Today, I tried hallucinogenic mushrooms for the first time with my friend. Little did I know, they last for around 6 hours, and I had class at 3, when I had to give a presentation in front of 30 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 641

You deserved it 85 344

Today, I'm in the hospital for a broken hip and cerebral hemorrhage, bedridden with a continuous headache. My roommate has dementia and shouts and cries all day about a hospital conspiracy where everybody is drinking tea all the time except her. This will be a long month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 479

You deserved it 206

Today, a girl I really liked mentioned she's home alone and that she was really really lonely. She offered for me to come over and watch a few movies with her, and as I got prepared to leave she sent me a text saying " can you pick up my friend Spencer? " FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 151

You deserved it 3 505

Today, in attempt to save a few bucks on visiting the doctor, my drunk husband tried to relocate his own disjointed finger, using a vice grip. We ended up with an $800 ambulance bill and then a welfare check from Social Services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 148

Today, I went out with two friends for lunch. The van we took ran out of fuel, so we pushed it to a nearby gas station, a gas station suffering from a gas shortage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 426

You deserved it 3 910

Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 975

You deserved it 39 678