Mental health and Health: Quote of the day - FML

Quote of the day

By lol - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was making breakfast. My microwave door was already open, but I couldn't figure that out so I kept pressing the button. According to Einstein, I'm now insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 206

You deserved it 30 849

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Top comments

rocker_chick105 31

Wednesday 25 January 2012 18:49

according to us, you are too

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Wednesday 25 January 2012 18:51

Insane? No. Total ****** idiot? Yes.

Comments

ICATiger 13

Wednesday 25 January 2012 20:40

+69

flockz 19

Wednesday 25 January 2012 20:41

+my sister's virginity.

Zora55 2

Wednesday 25 January 2012 20:42

"insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over again, and expecting the result to be different" Einstein

ronski 41

Wednesday 25 January 2012 20:42

YDI OP

medichick 5

Wednesday 25 January 2012 21:02

Stupid. People keep writing the stupidest fmls lately

eminemop 0

Wednesday 25 January 2012 21:04

+3 puppies

ICATiger 13

Wednesday 25 January 2012 21:08

+... **** this shit. I want to be a narwal!!

StreetReaper 9

Wednesday 25 January 2012 21:10

And to realize that you were the fastest swimmer.

loserman67 35

Wednesday 25 January 2012 21:14

Not just according to Einstein, but the world at large.... You're one of those people that stands at the elevator pressing the button into oblivion thinking it will make the car arrive faster I bet....

Internut 6

Wednesday 25 January 2012 21:45

Oh shit, it doesn't?

hhmmllcc 0

Wednesday 25 January 2012 21:35

ya dumb ****

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636 838

You deserved it 798 613

Today, it’s been so long since I got laid, I decided to rub one out in the office bathroom. I did it twice (morning/afternoon), and both times, there were two different guys clearly doing the same thing. The downstairs office bathroom is apparently a pit of desperation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 1 509

The Top

Today, my first day of going to the gym, some gym bro dropped his weights, which you’re not supposed to do, right on the top of my foot. I have complex crush fractures in most of my foot bones, I’m going to need surgeries, probably metal pins, and I can’t put weight on it for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 134

Today, I bought ingredients for one of my favorite meals and went home to take a nap. When I woke up, my sister had cooked them for everyone else in the house, who ate it all without me. I was told that I shouldn't be angry, but instead proud of my adult sister because, "She cooked!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 068

You deserved it 230

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 689

You deserved it 3 447

Today, we had the (great?) idea of having sex on a bean bag before my roomate got back home. Result: thousands of small polystyrene balls all over the living room. And no, they can't be picked up in 30 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 659

You deserved it 36 399

Today, I was excited for my very first oral sex session. Didn't imagine that the guy would bite everywhere like a beaver trying to be sexy and leave without even cuddling. Definitely didn't match the long sexts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 241

You deserved it 179

Today, a guy called customer support, claiming his internet wasn't working. I asked for his customer details, and he gave his name as Mike Hunt. I recognized the old joke, called him an idiot, and hung up on him. It turned out that was his real name. I'm now on suspension. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 805

You deserved it 36 347