Kids, Parenting and Relatable: Relatable reasoning - FML

Relatable reasoning

By Jake - 10/03/2021 23:00

Today, my wife told me the only reason she doesn’t want kids is because she requires privacy to poop. That’s it. That’s the dealbreaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 287

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Same thing different taste

Too real

By ann - 05/06/2021 14:00

Today, my daughter complained that she no longer wanted to talk about poop, as it grosses her out. This is a girl who can eat a rare steak while watching a guy’s arms get hacked off on TV, but poop is where she draws the line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 859

By mr - 27/07/2010 18:44 - United States

Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month old crawls into the bathroom and sobs at my feet. I now have to let my 9 month old sit on my lap while I shit, because I can't do it any other way. The end to all privacy has now come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 769

You deserved it 10 427

Justify My Love

By carrie - 09/05/2021 14:00

Today, my husband thinks I don’t love him. Why? Because I won’t poop with him in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 121

Burn out

By ShitOuttaLuck - 02/10/2021 20:00

Today, I'm dead on my feet after being awake since 1AM with the baby. I begged my wife to watch both the baby and our four year-old for an hour while I napped. She refused, and instead said she needed a rest more. Her reason? “I might need to do a shit later.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 009

You deserved it 202

Cranberry juice might help

By Anonymous - 18/03/2022 16:00

Today, I swear I’m going to just refuse to use the toilet when my mom is home on principle because whenever I go, no matter the time of day or night, that will be the exact moment she's bursting for a pee, and needs me out "NOW NOW NOW!" I haven’t had a relaxing, uninterrupted shit in almost a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 009

You deserved it 134

Open door policy

By Anonymous - 09/03/2021 23:01

Today, my mom yelled at me for not pooping with the bathroom door open like the rest of the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 213

You deserved it 79

Man caver

By Anonymous - 04/05/2023 18:00

Today, my wife screamed, cried, called me lazy and a bad parent, and threatened to leave and take our four kids. All I did was ask for an hour to myself every day for some private time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 1 203

Confession time

By Anonymous - 02/02/2024 09:00 - Canada - Baie-D'Urfe

Today, my mother-in-law confessed that my wife doesn't want kids because she wants to relive her teenage era when she obviously wasn't ready for it. However, I've always been told the reason was me being impulsive, unstable, and prone to outbursts when something frustrates me. Also, that's why she quit her job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 134

Poop

By Roma - 16/06/2017 14:00 - United States - Chevy Chase

Today I asked my mother-in-law to borrow a plunger, so she asked what I needed it for. "Poop," I replied. "I've told you this before," she huffed, "you have to poop a little and then flush, poop a little and flush. You can't go all at once." I can't even shit right for this woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 403

You deserved it 551

Famous for something

By leaflady03 - 27/04/2021 00:30

Today, my mom won’t stop calling up all her friends and family and even telling complete strangers about my "bowel problems." Even at parties, she talks about my pooping habits every chance she gets. This isn’t what I want to be known for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 188

You deserved it 109

Next

Top comments

core01 30

Thursday 11 March 2021 4:29

Stop that. If the woman doesn't want kids, respect that. We have enough kids growing up in households where their parents resent them. Stop pressuring women to have kids.

spinspinsugar 12

Thursday 11 March 2021 2:57

I don't want kids. I know people who have kids and they never get any privacy in the bathroom. yeah, no thanks I'm good lol

Comments

Warp1978 15

Thursday 11 March 2021 14:01

Get a lock for the toilet and just ignore them that's why parenting is a team sport

xxlk4xx 6

Thursday 11 March 2021 15:21

as a mom of 4 I understand your wife not wanting to lose her privacy, tho I never let mine in with me lol. I've already given up a lot of myself (which I'm fine with) but going to the bathroom alone is not one of them I'm willing to part with lol

DoctorPALO 14

Thursday 11 March 2021 18:34

If that's how she feels, and you DO want kids, find another gf. Don't think you'll eventually change her mind; that's just going to lead to even bigger issues.

cacheson 41

Monday 15 March 2021 18:44

Step 1: Sound proof the bathroom. Step 2: Make sure the bathroom has a good lock on the door. Step 3: Have that kids conversation again.

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I agree, your life sucks 34 494

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