Intimacy: Relax - FML

Relax

By Anonymoosey - 19/02/2012 23:47 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 274

You deserved it 5 328

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo

By Rhett_15 - 01/08/2017 13:00

Spicy

Today, I found out that my favorite song is about blow jobs and crystal meth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 435

You deserved it 948

Most good songs are

By Cicie - 27/01/2017 03:06 - United States - Weatherford

Today, I discovered that one of my favourite, relatable sad songs is actually a song about gay sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 660

You deserved it 1 922

By nilssonfan - 17/11/2010 08:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, I bought one of my favorite albums from when I was growing up. When I looked at the liner notes, I learned that my favorite song on the album wasn't about taking a bath, but about going to a brothel. My second-favorite isn't about moving, but about suicide. My childhood just shattered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 854

You deserved it 5 961

Spotified

By aarong - 10/02/2014 06:42 - United States - Tampa

Spicy

Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 524

You deserved it 8 000

Sing it again

By Anonymous - 23/04/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I just learned that the silly song my parents taught me as a small child, and would sometimes make me sing for the family, is actually a very thinly veiled series of penis jokes. Why just now? Because I hadn't thought about it for years, until my grandma brought it up at a reunion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 80

By Microtron - 03/03/2015 00:48 - United States - Oxford

Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 216

You deserved it 13 447

Right Said Fred

By Anonymous - 05/09/2019 22:02

Spicy

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing the "I'm too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts…" song before we had sex. Now, every time we have sex, that song is going to be in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 2 031

By RollieCollieUSA - 30/01/2009 17:27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her iTunes was on random. "Rape Me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 733

You deserved it 6 669

By tkr - 06/02/2012 03:14 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing that song that goes 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' when we have sex. Now, every time that we have sex, that song is going to be stuck in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 938

You deserved it 39 964

Not fair at all

By Anonymous - 28/04/2009 20:52 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 346

You deserved it 61 861

Next

Top comments

KaelaKhaotic 5

Monday 20 February 2012 3:34

What song was it?

bustub2 8

Monday 20 February 2012 3:41

"I'm a Little Teapot" is my guess.

Comments

MerrikBarbarian 9

Monday 20 February 2012 19:36

What song is it?? I have a whole play list of questionable songs and can't think for the life of me what it would be

Bakerman420 1

Monday 20 February 2012 19:49

24 your so cute!

hateevryone 14

Monday 20 February 2012 19:55

must be a good song?

LaurenNicolaa 2

Monday 20 February 2012 20:21

This has gotta be Frankie Goes To Hollywood

sylvie211 6

Monday 20 February 2012 20:27

haha,where were your parents to tell you this was wrong?

circuitboynm 8

Monday 20 February 2012 21:29

Relax! Don't do it... ... ...when you wanna cum!

twiins_fml 5

Monday 20 February 2012 22:08

Oh well thats unfortunate

trey96 0

Monday 20 February 2012 22:51

what song is it?

swimmersrok 0

Monday 20 February 2012 22:55

I dont get how u could want to smack little kids for being innocent. I personally think its better for a little kid to not know the meaning of a dirty song rather than have them understand it!

CabooseT13 0

Monday 20 February 2012 23:30

There r several songs that could fit this. My guess would b Madonna's "Prayer" lol

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Keywords

Embarrassing Work Awkward Money Insects Sex Intimacy Animals Cats Health Kids Neighbours Love Dating First Dates Students Alcohol Miscellaneous Fight Parents Shopping Parenting AITA Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Weird Cheating Drugs I need your advice Relatable

The Top

Today, I was working my job checking people in at the gym. A sweaty, chubby woman came up to me complaining about how our staff seems so fit. I replied, "We like to hire people who have bodies that motivate our clients!" She gave a blank stare, then said, "So how did you get the job?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 927

You deserved it 15 103

Today, I called out "for personal reasons" from work because I had to study for a major test that's taking place tomorrow. An hour later, my manager called to fire me for "not taking work seriously." I then got an email telling me that the test was being postponed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 513

You deserved it 4 096

The Top

Today, I was going to spend my weekend celebrating my first time not being sick since Labor Day. I woke up with a sinus infection instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 125

Today, there was a baby shower for our first child. My hostess invited 75 people. Only 3 people showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 517

You deserved it 476

Today, I rang my girlfriend to make sure she made it home alright. She told me to check my Facebook. Nothing was different so I hit refresh. We were no longer in a relationship. I got dumped via Facebook whilst on the phone to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 432

You deserved it 3 107

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've been diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Despite all my attempts to explain that he's wrong, he is totally convinced that my genitals have diabetes. This guy is going to be such a great father to our kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 774

You deserved it 6 339

Today, my thirteen-year-old daughter tried to scratch the freckles off of her face. We ended up going to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 774

You deserved it 2 719

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 496

You deserved it 36 797