Intimacy: Relax - FML

Relax

By Anonymoosey - 19/02/2012 23:47 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 274

You deserved it 5 328

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo

By Rhett_15 - 01/08/2017 13:00

Spicy

Today, I found out that my favorite song is about blow jobs and crystal meth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 435

You deserved it 948

Most good songs are

By Cicie - 27/01/2017 03:06 - United States - Weatherford

Today, I discovered that one of my favourite, relatable sad songs is actually a song about gay sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 660

You deserved it 1 922

By nilssonfan - 17/11/2010 08:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, I bought one of my favorite albums from when I was growing up. When I looked at the liner notes, I learned that my favorite song on the album wasn't about taking a bath, but about going to a brothel. My second-favorite isn't about moving, but about suicide. My childhood just shattered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 854

You deserved it 5 961

Spotified

By aarong - 10/02/2014 06:42 - United States - Tampa

Spicy

Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 524

You deserved it 8 000

Sing it again

By Anonymous - 23/04/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I just learned that the silly song my parents taught me as a small child, and would sometimes make me sing for the family, is actually a very thinly veiled series of penis jokes. Why just now? Because I hadn't thought about it for years, until my grandma brought it up at a reunion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 80

By Microtron - 03/03/2015 00:48 - United States - Oxford

Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 216

You deserved it 13 447

Right Said Fred

By Anonymous - 05/09/2019 22:02

Spicy

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing the "I'm too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts…" song before we had sex. Now, every time we have sex, that song is going to be in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 2 031

By RollieCollieUSA - 30/01/2009 17:27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her iTunes was on random. "Rape Me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 733

You deserved it 6 669

By tkr - 06/02/2012 03:14 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing that song that goes 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' when we have sex. Now, every time that we have sex, that song is going to be stuck in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 938

You deserved it 39 964

Not fair at all

By Anonymous - 28/04/2009 20:52 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 346

You deserved it 61 861

Next

Top comments

KaelaKhaotic 5

Monday 20 February 2012 3:34

What song was it?

bustub2 8

Monday 20 February 2012 3:41

"I'm a Little Teapot" is my guess.

Comments

Crazyforcheese 6

Monday 20 February 2012 16:13

I bet your parents are having awkward moments when you keep playing the song .

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 20 February 2012 16:13

About like when my wife had to explain that the "square root of 69 is ate something" and not "eight something" to my high school kids who always think they know more than us. They were thoroughly grossed out.

brohamas16 7

Monday 20 February 2012 16:18

what type of music do you even listen to

BuckNekkid 22

Monday 20 February 2012 16:20

seriously, that's messed up music, why were you listening to crap like that anyway

sneeze_watch 19

Monday 20 February 2012 16:26

It's k, when I was a kid my favorite song was "Hey Mickey". I realized later it's about a girl trying to get a guy to have sex with her.

whitey53 5

Monday 20 February 2012 16:29

Wiener the pooh?

andro6657 10

Monday 20 February 2012 16:37

Relax! Don't do it, when you want to come! Lol great song

alissaa16 0

Monday 20 February 2012 16:56

Don't you hate when that happens..

pupucedulila_fml 9

Monday 20 February 2012 17:16

Chill, my favorite song as a kid was about "getting down on it" if you see what I mean.

burtonbullet 10

Monday 20 February 2012 17:23

"I love you, you love me. You won't cum if you take it analy"? Who would have know what that was about?!?

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Keywords

Awkward Embarrassing Work Money Insects Intimacy Sex Animals Cats Health Kids Neighbours Dating First Dates Love Alcohol Students Fight Parents Miscellaneous Am I overreacting? Shopping AITA Parenting Weird Poopoo peepee Drugs Cheating I need your advice Relatable

The Top

Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 716

You deserved it 32 189

Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 940

You deserved it 7 937

The Top

Today, I managed to get a €5 note tangled in the zip on my purse. I couldn't open it without ripping it to shreds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 483

You deserved it 5 245

Today, my husband told me he’s gay, has a boyfriend and will be living with him, but he wants to stay married because it has good tax benefits, plus our joint mortgage, and if he comes out to his father he’ll be cut from the will. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 969

You deserved it 114

Today, I found out my dad stole money from me when he was arrested for buying Oxycodone from an undercover cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 040

You deserved it 2 343

Today, my room-mate came out of the bathroom, tossed a Playboy on the coffee table, threw away a used condom, dug his hand into my bag of Doritos, and washed his hands. In that order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 528

You deserved it 4 746

Today, my "best friend" invited me to drink with her and a couple other friends. She told me to "just bring a few bucks for beer". When I got there, no one else had brought money, including her. They only invited me because I'm the only one with a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 724

You deserved it 4 302

Today, it was my birthday. I spent a pleasant day with one of my best friends, then I spent four hours in the emergency room because my husband broke his foot while working. We're both self-employed, so production is going to fall 6 weeks behind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 143