Kids: Running gag

Running gag

By TheJoker - 12/05/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped, grabbed the ball for the kid and went to hand it to him. He then yelled, "Stranger danger!" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 816

You deserved it 3 204

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Same thing different taste

By imnotastranger - 09/05/2014 03:01

Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 621

You deserved it 6 932

By bet a woman would've been thanked - 07/05/2013 20:21 - United Kingdom - Redditch

Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 122

You deserved it 3 111

The Child Catcher

By Not a child hater - 30/10/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I had to chase down and tackle a boy (around 11 or 12) at my workplace after I caught him snatching someone's wallet and trying to quickly sneak out with it. Now everyone thinks I have something against children, even after I returned the stranger's wallet and explained that the little brat is a thief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 65

By Anonymous - 31/08/2011 17:06 - Canada

Today, I noticed a young child wandering out onto a busy street. I managed to grab his arm just as he stepped off the sidewalk and yank him away from almost certain death. My reward was his mother, who was on her cell phone the whole time, screaming at me for touching her child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 211

You deserved it 2 528

By bcoper - 25/06/2012 16:09 - Switzerland - Luzern

Today, my neighborhood had its annual summer barbecue, and I ended up showing a little boy who lives down the street how to hit a baseball. When I gave him back his bat so he could try for himself, he swung it into my shin and yelled, "Tag! You're it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 273

You deserved it 2 632

By Anonymous - 07/11/2010 11:14 - Netherlands

Today, I was jogging, and I saw a little boy walking. Crying and all alone. Thinking that he was probably lost, I asked to him with my sweetest voice: 'Hi there, did you lose somebody?' He screamed terrified and ran away. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 645

You deserved it 5 786

Freaked

By paranoid - 06/06/2009 04:43 - United States

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 690

You deserved it 55 064

By Anonymous - 26/10/2011 07:41 - United States

Today, as I was driving to work, I witnessed a kid apparently getting jumped. Being a good citizen, I got out and started yelling at them. I ended up alongside the kid in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 880

You deserved it 4 631

By foreveryoung - 30/04/2016 16:23 - France

Today, a weird guy approached me and started asking me many questions. I didn't know how to get out of this situation, so I suddenly ran away shouting, "Stranger danger! " I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 928

You deserved it 3 296

Free kick

By steph - 01/06/2009 04:50 - Canada

Today, I was in the park for a walk when a ball rolled to my feet. Figuring it belonged to the kids not far off, I wound back and kicked. The ball had actually been kicked by someone else for their dog to chase and I ended up punting it in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 337

You deserved it 38 278

ForestFire0 1

Tuesday 12 May 2009 12:12

Well, he's safe at least. What a brat. I blame the parents for giving him fear without intelligence.

immafiremylaser 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 12:12

That's what you get for being a considerate person.

Comments

null_fml 11

Tuesday 12 May 2009 18:44

I'm suddenly reminded of Ralph from the Simpsons when Marge puts her hand on his shoulder... "She's touching my special area!"

PoeGyrl_fml 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 18:49

The parents totally overreacted. Stranger Danger is no biggie really because kids are taught that in school, tv, family etc. But the parents calling the cops was way too much, unless the kid made up some crap.

Hockeyman11385 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 18:53

Was it Ralph Wiggum?

perfectwinds 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 19:05

That's why you teach kids the difference between good strangers and bad strangers. There IS a difference.

drimpossible 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 19:16

Stranger danger is the message from various campaigns that go back to the 80s... But they missed the point you are far more likely to be molested by a relative or person of authority you already know. In any event some parents are just paranoid and poor judges of actual risk levels

FMLgirlx3 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 19:21

This is where I would bounce the ball of the kid's head for payback.

prttyyngthng 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 19:27

Classic. I let loose a loud "HA!" upon reading this...

Chuffy 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 19:29

1) If the kid's parents were worried enough to call the police, then they should have been supervising play time. 2) Don't get me started on the ball rolling into the street... 3) Maybe you should have FML'd the kid by kicking the ball back and knocking the kid out.