Sex and Intimacy: Say it, don't spray it - FML

Say it, don't spray it

By nr1234 - 24/05/2011 04:27 - United States

Spicy

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend gets a nose bleed every time he orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 377

You deserved it 4 497

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Nosebleed

By bloody good time - 23/11/2019 05:00

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and he slid his hand up near my face too fast and ended up clocking me in the nose. It is the first time that I have ever had nosebleed while orgasming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 195

You deserved it 253

By anon - 08/12/2012 05:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 469

You deserved it 5 444

Raise the pressure

By Anonymous - 14/05/2022 18:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. He got on top and started kissing my ear when a warm liquid went down my neck. My boyfriend had a gushing nosebleed, which went threw the pillowcase and the pillow. I got cockblocked by a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 173

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 11/08/2021 00:01

Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 99

By Anonymous - 21/08/2014 21:24 - Portugal - Alg

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 807

You deserved it 6 736

By Anonymous - 06/01/2011 06:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. My boyfriend noticed that every time I'm about to climax, I hit my head on something. Whether it's a wall or his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 480

You deserved it 6 148

By Anonymous - 30/05/2013 03:55 - United States - Redlands

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 770

You deserved it 9 824

Romance isn't dead

By broken - 13/09/2009 04:26 - United States

Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 001

You deserved it 4 478

By Username - 22/02/2010 05:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 105

You deserved it 3 325

By anonymous - 19/03/2011 10:32 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I found out that when I orgasm, my increased heart rate causes me to pass out. I also found out my boyfriend doesn't stop when I'm unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 282

You deserved it 8 527

Next

Top comments

PsychoXtheXrapis 3

Tuesday 24 May 2011 12:10

Hey, at least he doesn't have an ****** every time he gets a bloody nose.

ambowew 7

Tuesday 24 May 2011 11:53

You're dating Jiraiya?! That's so perverted, shame on you!

Comments

MissLadyCaliver 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 0:34

at least you won't have to worry about him faking it

mattrd_fml 31

Wednesday 25 May 2011 0:35

wow. more like FHL.

sblhaine 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 0:44

poor guy. hope you have stocked up on tissues

Neukmijnleven 9

Wednesday 25 May 2011 0:54

I really think his life sucks even more than yours.

trollolololo 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 1:16

he's ur bf, get over it

ckay6 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 1:29

well now youll know if hes faking or not!

CaptainPickles72 18

Wednesday 25 May 2011 1:32

And I thought cleaning up one liquid sucked!

VittiChan 2

Wednesday 25 May 2011 1:34

yes, good man and a fellow otaku. Girl, u need some serious anime watching to do. *nosebleed*

XxGuard 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 1:58

YDI for choosing sex and the guy. Give the guy a break... everyone is different. What do you do when you ******? Squeal like a pig? lol he probs can come up with something to say badly about you.

xoxbandgeekxox13 3

Wednesday 25 May 2011 2:16

how is it that you only just noticed this if it's "every" time he orgasms?

LifesLovelyRoses 4

Wednesday 25 May 2011 7:46

good point.... I guess the world will never know

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Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, an absolute cretin of a lorry driver ran into the back of me as I was slowing down for an orange light about to go red. My car is totalled and he had the nerve to tell the police I had brake checked him on purpose, probably for an insurance scam, and that it was all my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 63

Today, I wanted to show my friends my cat’s “high-five” trick. I held out my hand, and instead of a high-five, my cat scratched and bit me instead. I yelped, and my friends burst into laughter. I had to bandage my hand, all whilst they joked about “cat training.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 375

The Top

Today, I was cycling home when I saw my sister, who lives a 4 hour drive away, walking past me on the path. I turned my head and called to her, causing me not to notice the pothole in front of me. My front wheel went in and I went over the handlebars. It wasn't even my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 331

You deserved it 11 718

Today, it was mine and my fiancé's 4 year anniversary. What did he get me? Nothing, but I did find out he's been cheating on me with multiple women. Guess I’m back to 0 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 115

You deserved it 170

Today, while my fiancé was showing me the finger guard on his brand new, very sharp knife, he managed to slice his finger open and throw the knife onto my leg, cutting me also. There's now a nice trail of blood on the carpet all the way to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 332

You deserved it 303

Today, I found out in addition to the ADHD teenager they scream at, my boyfriend's parents are planning on getting a monkey. I work at an animal shelter, so now I'm obligated to have a long conversation with them about what a crap idea that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 114

Today, I was on hold with the cable company for an hour. When I finally got someone, I walked into the kitchen to where it was quiet and slid across the floor, falling on my butt and losing my connection on the phone. My 2-year-old son had sprayed the floor with nonstick cooking spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 751

You deserved it 6 468

Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax, my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 137

You deserved it 5 570