Sex and Intimacy: Say it, don't spray it - FML

Say it, don't spray it

By nr1234 - 24/05/2011 04:27 - United States

Spicy

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend gets a nose bleed every time he orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 381

You deserved it 4 497

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…

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Same thing different taste

Nosebleed

By bloody good time - 23/11/2019 05:00

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and he slid his hand up near my face too fast and ended up clocking me in the nose. It is the first time that I have ever had nosebleed while orgasming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 198

You deserved it 255

By anon - 08/12/2012 05:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 473

You deserved it 5 447

Raise the pressure

By Anonymous - 14/05/2022 18:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. He got on top and started kissing my ear when a warm liquid went down my neck. My boyfriend had a gushing nosebleed, which went threw the pillowcase and the pillow. I got cockblocked by a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 173

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 11/08/2021 00:01

Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 102

By Anonymous - 21/08/2014 21:24 - Portugal - Alg

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 816

You deserved it 6 737

By Anonymous - 06/01/2011 06:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. My boyfriend noticed that every time I'm about to climax, I hit my head on something. Whether it's a wall or his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 481

You deserved it 6 150

By Anonymous - 30/05/2013 03:55 - United States - Redlands

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 775

You deserved it 9 828

Romance isn't dead

By broken - 13/09/2009 04:26 - United States

Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 003

You deserved it 4 479

By Username - 22/02/2010 05:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 108

You deserved it 3 327

By anonymous - 19/03/2011 10:32 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I found out that when I orgasm, my increased heart rate causes me to pass out. I also found out my boyfriend doesn't stop when I'm unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 289

You deserved it 8 528

Next

Top comments

PsychoXtheXrapis 3

Tuesday 24 May 2011 12:10

Hey, at least he doesn't have an ****** every time he gets a bloody nose.

ambowew 7

Tuesday 24 May 2011 11:53

You're dating Jiraiya?! That's so perverted, shame on you!

Comments

varkey 7

Tuesday 24 May 2011 21:30

Kind of like the guy in how I met your mother... Randy I think FYL

Krista835 5

Tuesday 24 May 2011 22:08

I think that kinda sucks more for him cause I get nosebleeds all the time and it's not fun at all.. Although I guess if he finished before you then it would suck for you cause he has to go take care of his nosebleed or maybe it's a turn off etc.

mama2b3 20

Tuesday 24 May 2011 22:25

that's more common than you think. but still fyl

Daisie_Garcia 0

Tuesday 24 May 2011 22:44

Lol that's really weird :D

oolama 2

Tuesday 24 May 2011 22:46

that's the part where you lick it up..wait what?

Slipknot666Maggo 0

Tuesday 24 May 2011 22:57

it's probably anxiety. this happens to me too.

hayleynotman1 5

Tuesday 24 May 2011 23:00

That's pretty funny! But I not so funny for you, well look on the bright side you know when you've done a good job :)

rainbowkissies 14

Monday 9 July 2012 7:18

slipknot666maggot makes me laugh. :D

yoite234 0

Tuesday 24 May 2011 23:07

just like in anime >.>

Mylesv420 0

Tuesday 24 May 2011 23:24

who cares? that isn't bad weirdo

navymansgirl 7

Tuesday 24 May 2011 23:37

that could turn into something serious

hotstuff123456 0

Tuesday 24 May 2011 23:44

that's ******* awesome!

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The Top

Today, I learned a state senator is pushing a law to prosecute women for murder if they have an abortion, even out of state. Miscarriages would be investigated for aggravated assault, and if deemed unintentional, life insurance benefits would still be denied. I fear for the women in my county. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 184

Today, I finally agreed to the threesome that my husband has been trying to persuade me to have. We arranged it with my hot best friend, thinking I would be more comfortable with her. I ended up lying naked beside them, watching them have fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 304

You deserved it 41 323

The Top

Today, I attempted to bleach my body hair so I wouldn't have to shave. A little while later, I realized that I'd also succeeded in bleaching my skin, which was incredibly noticeable. I'm hosting a pool party this weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 848

You deserved it 49 072

Today, my boss stopped mid-walk during a conversation about the humidity in our office, after I told him I didn't like the air conditioner on, because I'd rather not be cold and wet, and that I liked it warm and sticky. I knew then he was no longer thinking about the AC. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 473

You deserved it 37 267

Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 310

You deserved it 34 829

Today, my 5-year-old daughter said "Mommy, why doesn't anyone wanna marry you?" I've been asking myself the same question for all too many years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 952

You deserved it 1 976

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 377

You deserved it 3 376

Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 777

You deserved it 4 448