Love: Self report

Self report

By SmoothTalker - 16/03/2009 17:40 - United States

Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied, "Oh, I usually come early." She laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 328

You deserved it 33 941

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

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Same thing different taste

By babbling idiot - 14/08/2015 09:35 - Canada

Today, I approached a hot female security guard and attempted to compliment her new tattoos. Instead of saying, "Nice tats", I ended up saying, "Nice tits". My HR meeting is tomorrow morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 473

You deserved it 9 668

Mean Girls

By 1nfected - 26/08/2009 17:07 - Canada

Today, when I arrived at work, I was greeted by my gorgeous coworker telling me my red shirt looked awesome on me. Before I could compliment her, she added that the color was fitting perfectly with my acne. I heard a couple of giggles around me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 415

You deserved it 3 637

By EmployeeOfTheMonth - 27/06/2009 07:03 - United States

Today, my attractive boss sat me down in the break room to say how much she appreciated how much work I've been doing despite being a temp. She was wearing a skirt, and I couldn't take my eyes off her legs. She then patted me on the leg and said "Good Talk". It wasn't my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 817

You deserved it 19 224

By fatty - 14/08/2014 03:46 - United States - Madison

Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 365

You deserved it 15 868

Hopeless

By Dumbdumb - 15/02/2010 14:29 - United States

Today, at work, a really hot guy came up to me and asked, "What are your hours?" Excited, I told him I get off at 4, but might be able to get out sooner. He started laughing and then said, "I meant your store hours." He turned around and walked away, shaking his head and laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 720

You deserved it 33 240

By Anonymous - 01/10/2010 11:48 - United States

Today, as I was leaving the office, I heard my very cute coworker behind me say "Hey gorgeous, where are you off to?" I turned around with a smile and said "About to hit up happy hour." He was on the phone with his wife. I'm calling in sick tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 478

You deserved it 12 212

Wrong target

By footinmouth - 21/01/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I was hitting on a girl who was getting ready to walk into the same class as me. We were waiting outside the room, so I told her that I'd heard the professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down at a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 917

You deserved it 38 834

Thanks Susan

By Noname - 24/02/2009 23:00 - United States

Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman who sits at the desk beside me looks over and says, "Wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 293

You deserved it 4 928

Suck up

By Anonymous - 22/08/2015 06:58 - United States - Cadillac

Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered, "Fucking tryhard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 793

You deserved it 3 418

By Anonymous - 17/10/2013 13:43 - United States - Romulus

Today, in calculus, our substitute teacher told me I was smart. Everybody in the class, including my friends, burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 840

You deserved it 4 733

vonstrangle 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 0:15

"Today someone had a sense of humor and I didn't. FML"

vietiscool 2

Tuesday 17 March 2009 0:05

it's ok. funny joke.

Comments

Kingrayer 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 2:07

thats wut he said!

Squintz123 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 2:14

Haha, awesome...

unknownanonimity 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 2:25

good job...as long as it isn't true lawl

shykneejess 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 2:34

lmao. This is funny. Oh well, i'm sure she enjoyed that little tid-bit of info.

dang_fml 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 2:36

haha smooth move

cantth1nk0fnam3 3

Tuesday 17 March 2009 2:49

don't get it but ok

Jem0_0 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 3:16

Hahaha you are in there, dude

SmoothTalker 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 3:17

oh haha actually guys I have a confession...I "cheated" a bit because it's not REALLY a "FML" moment...I just wanted to share a funny story :-) No bomb I don't have a sick mind (or at least I didn't when I blurted THAT gem out :-) but yes cutty I was able to capitalize on it and live up to my pseudonym :D

Lou_Briccant 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 3:18

There's been alot of really bland FMLs here tonight.

LordP123 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 3:22

That one actually could have been true! You should have been like: I'm just kidding...let's have sex and you can see for yourself! It's a sure winner.